| While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom.
With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors.
"Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down
newspapers."
"That's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained." |
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| A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.
Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said,
"You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."
"You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter.
"I can only serve one table at a time." |
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"You ought to go back to driving a truck."
Concert manager, firing Elvis Presley in 1954 |
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| Two cab drivers met.
"Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red
and the other side blue?"
"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other." |
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"Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little."
A film company's verdict on Fred Astaire's 1928 screen test.</font> |
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"Very interesting, Whittle, my boy, but it will never work."
Professor of Aeronautical Engineering at Cambridge, shown Frank Whittle's plan for the jet engine. |
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