I will try to keep this as short as possible. Keep in mind
while reading this that I am in no way trying to label all NCP (non custodial
parents). I do know that there are good NCP out there just as there are bad CP
(custodial parents) out there. I will list some facts from my case and what I
think are the problems.
FACTS
Divorced in May 1994
One son who was almost 11 months old at the time
The day we went to court to set basic issues such as C/S & visitation &
custody was the only time he has ever been caught up on C/S (child support).
He had same job for 5 years until one day he just up & quit. He says he was
"let go" while employment records that was sent to the child support
office said he was fired.
He is currently behind around $3000. At one point he was behind as much as
$5000.
He has resided at least 16 different places since I left.
He knows how to "play the system".
PROBLEMS
- He has only notified the court three times of address changes. He is court
ordered by our final divorce decree to inform the court as well as myself of the
moves. He has never been found in contempt for this although I had to personally
hand deliver court hearing notices in the past b/c they couldn’t locate where
he was living or even employed at. There were times when our son said Dad was
moving again and he was moving from a place I didn’t know he was living at. My
ex insists on him picking up and bringing our son home because he doesn’t want
me to see where he is living. Not so much as to where it is at b/c if I ask him
he will tell me where it is located. It is not my problem to keep asking every
month if he is still living at same place. He mainly doesn’t want me to see
where he is residing b/c they are all usually run down. One time they lived in a
little, older, 2 bedroom trailer (they have 5 kids between them on visitations)
and our son told me that he had to go outside to go to the bathroom b/c toilet
didn’t work. That was when our son started to poop in his pants again.
- He knows how to "play the system". In 1997 I had tried to get him
in contempt of court for failure to pay C/S about 6 times. Every time that I
filed he did not have a job. It usually took 2 months to get a court date set.
He could not find a job in that time. And the court dates were always on a
Friday morning. The court date would finally roll around and WOW he has a job.
Although half the time he couldn’t "remember" who it was with or
where it was located. The judge would tell him, "you better start paying on
your C/S and arrears and stay current. And try to keep a job." He was never
put in contempt! He would work at a place for 2 to 3 months, just enough for the
courts to back off of him. Then he loses his job. 2 months pass before the C/S
office notices him not paying. Finally, 4 months after that we are going into
court again and he does and says the same thing. At every hearing. If I had my
private attorney in for me, then the court would be a little tougher on him. If
I had the C/S Office represent us nothing happened.
The biggest problem I have is him always getting off the hook
for not paying C/S. In 1997 he got behind $2000 – IN ONE YEAR! With my
attorney we asked for Jail time but, was never sentence. We asked for getting
his license suspending but that was also never sentenced to him. I understand
the judge’s reasoning's. If he was thrown in jail how would he get to work
& then it would cost us as taxpayers to keep him in there. As for the driver’s
license, how would he get to his job? Plus, most of them that do get their
licenses taken away still drive anyway. I am not saying all parents who do not
pay C/S should be punished. There are those who could not help it b/c of
sickness or layoff. But, my ex never was sick nor did he ever get as he says
"let go". According to all of the paperwork his former employers sent
to the C/S office he was fired for various reasons from lying about having a
diploma or GED to missing work b/c of sick step-son. I quit wasting my time by
taking him to court b/c he always gets out of it. The last time we went back to
court was the beginning of this year. I will leave with what he told me,
"You know they won’t do a thing to me. Why do you think I keep doing
this? They don’t care about what I do, if I work or even if I pay child
support."
