Doug's Story

I have finally gotten around to starting this. I have been busy getting this site ready. This is a pretty long story it has been going since September of 1988.

September 1988:

I was in the Navy stationed in Mayport Florida. I had just returned from a deployment and decided that I was tired of my wife fooling around all the time. We filed for divorce and she decided to run off to California with her most recent boyfriend (who she later married) before the divorce was final. She left both of our boys with me, ages 2 1/2 and 1. After she left she called the kids every month for one month, after that we heard nothing from her for almost two years. I did try to contact her but she had moved again and she didn't let me know where.

February 1989:

The Navy decided it wasn't a good idea for a single parent to be enlisted so I was promptly discharged. I then moved back to Indiana, leaving change of addresses when I moved.

December 1989:

I had lived in Indiana for over a year when she decided to come back and try to get custody of the kids.

February 1991:

To say the least I fought her and the case went to court. A little advice for anyone trying to get custody, when you go to court, try to get as many uninvolved people to appear in court for you. (e.g. Child psychologist, baby sitters, doctors, etc.) When we went to court I had there to testify for me; me, my father, my baby sitter and a child psychologist. She had; herself, her husband and her best friend. The hearing went on all day because her lawyer wouldn't shut up and the judge was getting perturbed. I learned that one of the more important aspects of finding a lawyer is to find one that can read the judge. My lawyer was going to re-call me to the stand but decided not to because he could tell the judge was tired of listening to everything so he rested his case and the hearing was over.

April 1991:

It took almost three months for the decision to come back but I won and I now have legal, sole custody of my kids. She was ordered to pay $60.00 a week in child support, which she paid once a week for one week. She has been behind ever since.

First Part of 1994:

She decided to start another family. She had another boy and was exercising her visitation regularly. (but not paying support) The only problem with this was that when my boys would visit her she would make them take care of her new baby. So they got to the point that they didn't like going. I guess he was born with a hole in his heart that didn't close like it should have.

Mid part of 1995:

About a year and a half after that she had another boy. She was still visiting the boys at this point but that didn't last long. Her oldest kid needed to have surgery to close the hole and she couldn't visit while this was going on. I could understand that but it shouldn't take six months for him to recover. My wife and I just had a baby daughter who has a heart block and had to have a pacemaker put in when she was just six days old. She was home six days later and is doing fine. So to me that was a pretty lame excuse. She did keep in contact with my kids for a couple of months with cards. They got a Christmas card and my oldest got a birthday card, that was it.

I should mention here that she lived in a town about two hours away so it wasn't real easy to keep tabs on what was happening. I let the boys call her a couple times during this period and after a while they lost interest.

September 1997:

I decided to stop by her house and let them see her for a bit. I knocked on the door and a guy answered. he said that she didn't live there any more. I found out later that she had moved to Alabama. She left no word or let the boys know that she was moving. This was in September 1997. We haven't heard anything since.

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