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Passions For Parenting Join the discussion with other
Parents who are Passionate This weeks question......What does
Your Child Do That Most Reminds You of You?! Just for parents who want to raise passionate children, we have created Passion for Parenting E-Zine!Word GiftsToni Maxine, my daughter Kathie's seven year old best friend came bounding down the stairs of her house to meet us at the door. She was extremely excited because she was being included in our traditional "Monday Night is Karaoke at 4PizzaSake" night. Seeing her rush down the stairs I called out to her, "Toni Maxine, you look simply elegant!" I noticed how carefully she presented herself: her hair was curled "just so", she was wearing a very stylish ensemble that included a pink slip dress covered by a lacy overdress that tied in the front. I watched how she beamed with the compliment I gave her, and when the night was over she spontaneously hugged me, filled with joy. She carried with her that special joy of being recognized in a different way by someone she sees as special, in this case by her very best friend's Mommy. My seventh grade English Teacher, Mr. Taylor, told me something that has always stayed with me. Intelligent people never have to stoop to use bad language. Within the scope of our spoken and written English we have the capability to either tear people down using carefully chosen words, or as I would always prefer, we can help empower people with a carefully crafted compliment. What if I had said to Toni Maxine, "Oh, Toni Maxine! You look nice tonight!"? Well, that's ok, but nice does not begin to describe how she really looked! The attention to detail, her fetching smile, her overall exuberance definitely pointed at elegance. Some other words I could have chosen to use would be along the lines of these: charming, exquisite, statuesque, sophisticated or refined. Each of these words would have a similar impact on Toni Maxine. Now I have another favorite seven year old named Christopher. Whenever I greet him, this is what I say. "Hello, Christopher, you precious gift from God!" How often are kids told that they are so very special, not only are they more special than Christmas and Birthdays, but that God created them to be the unique-one-and-only "Christopher"? Now my friend likes to play Roller Hockey, he is in a league and plays other Seven Year Olds each Saturday afternoon. He is a very aggressive player, with skills beyond his years. After watching him assist his team in a hard fought victory I could say, "Christopher, what a great game! You were awesome!" or I could tell him, "Christopher, WOW! You were a dominant player out there! Your assertiveness and intimidating playing really made worked in your team's favor! I am proud of you!" You might think to yourself, hey a feisty seven year old in roller blades does not know what those words mean so who cares? We should care. We should challenge all of our kids to be the best (finest, foremost, exemplary, optimum or praiseworthy) around. So how do we do that? Fairly simple! 1. Take opportunities to compliment uniquely. Not the normal, "Great job" or the standard, "Nice dress" routine. Cultivate a larger vocabulary, and your kids will start to emulate, or copy, you! 2. In the same vein, correct when it is necessary. Keep in mind also that you are correcting a behavior or action and the criticism is based upon that behavior or action, not the core of the child. 3. Remind children whenever possible that they are special, unique and you are truly glad to know them. No child can hear often enough how much you enjoy being around them. Believe me, the negatives will be recorded and played over and over and over in their heads. Instead, lets work on replacing those tapes with "Word Gifts". Each child is a blessing. Each child is worthy of love and respect and guidance. Each child deserves to feel wanted. So go out there and show your kids how you really feel about them. Watch them blossom. Watch them react positively. Watch them thrive. Experience Joy. ******************************** Purpose / Parenting / People / Poetry&Prose / 5Passions / Ezines / Quizlets Forums / Survey / Archives / E-mail / Luvmibabies / What's New / Predetermined |
