(Most of the time)
Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my
wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.
After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my
plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!"
As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"
"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.
The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.
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An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!'
Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
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A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
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A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
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A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail, Amen."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That
is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?"
The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike, "Yes, and my mom says it's a bitch to iron."
Hope y0u had a GOOD laugh, as Art Linkletter used to say "kids say
the darndest things"
She looked at her mother and asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said, "Mommy, you weren't a very good girl were you?"
"Now why would you say a thing like that, honey?" asked her Mom.
"Well ALL grandma's hairs are white," came the reply.
bottom,,,,,,,lot's of luv,,,,winter
W I S E A D V I C E F R O M K I D S
1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Michael, 14
3. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9
4. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13
5. Never *** on an electric fence. - Robert, 13
6. Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13
7. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10
8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11
9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14
10. Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers.- Mitchell, 12
11. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9
12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9
14. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. - Kellie, 11
15. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Naomi, 15
16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9
17. Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8
May God Bless you and keep you safe,
Father Pat
"Be still and know that I am God" ~Psalm 46:10
Saint Bronislava Parish Web Site:
http://stbrons.com
Youth Ministry Web Site:
http://youth.stbrons.com
Father Pat's personal Site:
http://frpat.com
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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
Then a third child brought the argument to a close...
"They use the dog," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him, and he said "No".
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn't have any clothes with me. Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?" "No," he replied.
I just knew that he must have had, because the smell was getting worse. Soo.........I asked one more time, "Matt,did you have an accident?"
This time, with a little smirk on his face, he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled.........
"See MOM, IT'S JUST GAS!!"
While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened..
I was mortified.........but some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better, when they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had!!
Sent to me by winter (hope your feeling better!)
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
David was a Hebrew king. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
God Bless Them.
first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
