On 12/13/00: Someone famous, who had been living in a place and was then forced to leave, once said the immortal words: "I shall return." That person was not me. But I have returned anyway. I have changed a great many things, and intend to change more. The image map is now the index proper, and what was once the index is now the Explanations page. Function has been completely redone, and now features some excerpts of things I have written, and a list of things I am writing, and a nice link for you to send me email about them. Poodles is now accessable through the front page. Interest is going to be turned into the storehouse for written things that don't fit into Function or Poodles. There are more changes to come, and hopefully with some semblance of regularity.

(Possibly interesting aside: The last update that was recorded here, below me, was written three months before my 20th birthday. I claim there that Poodles is partly an exercise in needy teenager scribbling. I can no longer hide behind that excuse.)

(It may also be interesting that I did not emphasize the third update of The Year 2000 as I did for the other two. Have we become jaded to the future so quickly?)

On 3/26/00: The second update of The Year 2000. And it's a big one. Say hello to my brand new semi-regular thing, Poodles and Other Reminders of Our Mortality. It's part journal, part column, part needy teenager scribbling. Look, learn, and love. For now, it can be accessed through Interest, though that may change as time goes on. Interest might, in fact, be revamped into Poodles. We'll see. If you've got an opinion, let me know at simsizer@bentonrea.com. I'd really appreciate it. (Also, I'm aware of how annoying that floating popup, or Yagopup, as I catchily named it, is. The old GeoGuide code doesn't seem to work, though. If you know why, pass that info along too, would you? Thanks much.)

On 2/13/00: What is this? The first update of The Year 2000 and it's already February? You'd think the guy running this place is just some sort of no good slacker, toying with his audience and the world in general. Ah well. Function has recieved a major update. The first chapter of my hilarious science fiction story. Go and read. Where did all the poems go, you ask? They went away, to be replaced soon by new and better ones.

On 11/21/99: I changed something on the site, finally. What a surprise. Go see the new Interest page. I took down the census thing, and added the first of my State Songs review/interpretation project. So far, it's just Arkansas. I'm also slowly making the backgrounds around here a bit easier on the eye.

On 9/15/99: I'm back! Miss me? I know I did. Anyway, I got over one cold, but was hit with another. Such is life, I suppose. Or at least the life of a chronic disease-ridden invalid. At any rate, there's a reason for this update. I've added a counter. Yes, finally, thanks to NedStat I can now see how few people actually visit this place. Assuming it works, something I'm not entirely sure of yet.

On 9/3/99: Another new poem up. I've come down with a cold, and haven't been up to writing much. This one was written under the vague buzz created by TheraFlu (tm). I think I just wanted to use the word phylum in a poem. This happens to me a lot, actually, and oddly enough, always with P-words. I've used polyglot and phoneme before. Though I misspelled phoneme. But that's where the term poetic license comes from.

On 8/30/99: Added the poem "I was Elsewhere" to Function.

On 8/28/99: Added a page to tell you I've added this page. Also, the Interest link finally works. Up now is the first of what will hopefully be a daily column. Read and enjoy.

10:41 PM, Pacific time: Added a new, if lamer, column to the visually unappealing Interest page. I'm working on this one, don't worry.

11:22 PM or so: Added those Geoguides to each and every page. I'm told it's less annoying. I live to serve.

Back, back I say!