[Say What?] [Experiments] [The Brain Modules] [About MST3K:TF]
Ten By Ten
By John Ferrer
Hi. I'm the head writer here at MSTransformers. At least that's what it's currently being called. But enough about me, let's talk about collect calling.
In case you haven't
noticed, a new phenomenon has sprung itself onto our telivision
broadcasting airwaves. A phenomenon equal to psychic networks and
Tide's dramatic Zach-and-Roy saga. A phenomenon known as collect
call companies. The huge amount of numbers you can call to make
someone else has now gotten to the point where you can choose a
different 10-10 number for every state and province in the world.
10-10-321, the original, has claimed New Jersey. 10-10-220 has
claimed Texas. 10-10-9000 has claimed North Dakota. And the other
billions of combinations have claimed the rest of America along
with Canada, South America, the side of the hemisphere that looks
upside-down from here, and most of the oceans, lakes, and clouds.
A new one, converting by phone language to
10-10-HOWFARCANWEPOSSIBLYGOWITHOUTBEINGTURNEDINTOATVMOVIEONTHESCIFICHANNEL,
is planning to take over one of the undiscovered galaxies of our
lovely Universe.
This is not the phenomenon. I lied. Sorry.
The real phenomenon is the spokespersons for these floods of multiples of 10. Any actor or actress that resorts to selling their souls to a phone company and talk about it on commercials no longer has a career. If you've been wondering, "Whatever happened to that John Lithgow fellow?" "Ut! There he is for 10-10-321! I'm gonna miss him!" Or how about, "Whatever happened to the entire cast of SNL in the eighties?" "Ut! 10-10-220! It wasn't that funny then, anyway!" So there you have it, Kahlua drinkers.
And 10-321 changing to two 10's. That's a whole 'nother saying of what.
- John Ferrer