Divorced Dad's

What can I say...the guilt comes and goes. After re-reading the article below I know that it was written while I was at a particularly low point. When I updated this site I entertained the notion of changing the article as well, but I decided not to because I believe that this one is the one that most will relate to. As I mention below, if you have any ideas for handling the guilt please pass them along and I will consider adding them to the page.

I have learned to share everything that is the best of me, with my children. The one thing I don't share is the guilt that I have acquired since the divorce.

Every other weekend I take my kids back to their mothers house. For the last year and a half or so, the majority of these return trips have been uneventfull, but there have been several that were not.

The good return trips are the ones where I get a quick kiss, and the kids run off to play. The bad ones are when I can hardly pry their arms from around my legs and waist, and my shirt is wet from tears.
This is when the guilt resurfaces. I say resurfaces because, for me, the guilt is always evident at some level. I hope that it's because I have not been divorced long enough. I like to believe that at some point the guilt resides.

I usually handle the guilt in a few different ways. First, I wallow in it. I don't, by any means, recommend that you do this. It is just that, for me, it comes the easiest, but it is also the least effective.
Next, I reaffirm the reasons that I got divorced in the first place. The most important of these, was the desire for my children to see me as happy as I possibly can be. It is in the best interests of the kids, as well as myself.
Lastly, I come upon the dawning realization that the shared love between my children and I, is unconditional. The divorce, tears, and guilt won't change that. I know that the lines of communication are always open, and our feelings are expressed freely, good and bad.

I don't know how long a divorced parent goes on feeling the guilt, but I do know that we all had our reasons for divorcing. I know that it helps me to remember that my kids will be better off in the long run.

How do you handle the guilt? If you would like to share your ideas, and help many people, send me some email and I will print your thoughts in the 'letters from readers' section. I hope to hear from you.