Okay...let's see. My holidays to Malaysia - a personal recountation (is that such a word?):

Day 1
We start of at freaking 10PM yesterday to catch the stupid plane to take us to Singapore. It's a bloody 1AM flight and my contact lenses are giving me a horrible itch (later I find out it's protein that's the problem:). Besides, since it's very late, I'm also very moody, and as usual, my pimples are a problem. Well, after a very spastic flight (A Jublieeeeee 777 - think old Nintendo games. Think Super Boxing, Super Tennis and of course, Mario Land) until 3AM, I'm told that our flight to Kuala Lumpur is at 8AM so I haven't had a ounce of sleep yet and I'm walking through Singapore airport. I haven't a clue about direction, nor the fact that my hair has reached new verticle heights (when I do, I wear a cap), so I just space out in the airport..transit sucks. I don't have a single Singapore cent on me so I can't get anything and my feet are totally cramping up on me. This is SO NOT FUNNY. We finally get the flight and it's rather uneventful. We reach my uncle's house - Cable TV, Wimbledon, Women Tennis, Women in ultra short skirts sweating on TV, Anna Kournikova in an ultra short skirt sweating on TV, Anna Kournikova in an ultra short skirt sweating on TV with black undies........ okay, enough. Well, after pigging out on hawker food (one of 200 nights out pigging), I'm stoned. I discover BLACKBERRY VODKA in my uncle's cupboard but I am restrained so I can't get at it. That was depriving.

Day 2 (in PLACES from now on as the 'Day' thing will take too long)
Take off - we take off to Kota Kinabalu, where Mount Kinabalu is...very cool city. Mountains on one side, beach on another. Went Snorkaling, planned on parasurfing (very good reason for not doing it comes later). Spent a week with my very cool cousin's computer...and my cousins...14,13,7,6,6,5,4,2 years old. Yes, 10 cousins (my sister and I included) and 3 families. Very funky, but they were all small (think CHOAS in the house) but they are SO CUTE it KILLS WANTING TO BE SMALL AGAIN.

Mount Kinabalu
The biggest mountain in South East Asia. Where's talking over 4000 meters, 13 thousand feet...no, it was 11 thousand more likely. But it was big, screwed and conquered by me. Well, actually, my dad made it too, but I beat him by 20 minutes so that was cool. We start the climb at 8AM and it goes fine. No rain. 8.7KM up there, you do 6KM today, the rest tomorrow morning. Things are going fine. 4KM, you suddenly realize that the steps are neverending - you seem to be going up and up and up and up and up and up and up...but things are okay. Then at 5.5KM it hits you. Altitude sickness. You're screwed. Think constant migrane followed by constant puking, you can't move, your head spins out of control. And up and up and up and up and up and up and up. Great, you've reached the resthouse where you get to spend half a night (they call it a night in the travel agents). The place it evil, but you can get any soft drink (yes, Diet Coke), you can get hot food, you can get blankets, and best of all you can get free toothpaste with every pack of $2.99 brushes you buy (I'm lying). Besides, it's -already- 2AM...FREAKING 2AM and YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP AND CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN. THAT SUCKS SO MUCH BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY YOU AGREED TO DO THE DAMNED THING IN THE FIRST PLACE. But I did it. -Okay. For the next three days mobility is strained. Very strained (read legs hurt so much that you feel deep pain climbing the stairs). This is also the reason why I couldn't do parasurfing - because I couldn't get down the stairs and all meals had to be taken in bed. But I'm proud because I didn't puke (only my sister and my mum did) and I won a bet with my mum that I would make it up there.

Miri
We met up with some of my parent's old friends. Supposedly, the lady was the first person to 'carry' me after my mum when I was born in Manchester so she took a great delight to see me... I think. Anyways, we had a meal with them and all ther parents caught up on old times and it was rather...BORING BORING BORING and I nearly died.

The Mulu Caves
The day my legs got better (as did my whole family's), we took off in an ULTRA small plane (a 19 sitter, you can't stand up, you gotta squeeze, they weigh you to check whether you can go on the plane) to go to Mulu. This plane isn't the smallest I've been to (In New Zealand I encountered a 17 seater on a trip to Queenstown) but it ceratinly was the most unstablest. Rocking and rolling, we made our way over thick forests all the way to Mulu. Mulu was not what I expected. 4 small villages, 2 roads with one T juntion, and a total population of about 500. But the hotel was freaking good. 5 stars man. It was really good to get a long hot shower at the end of the day. It was also good to see monkeys and such...like Sri Lanka :) So anyways we get realy good treatment, but the real reason why we went there was to DO the caves. 4 caves, Wind, Deer, Lang and Clearwater - the biggest interconnected caves in the world. Is that funky or what? A lot of pointy things going from the ceiling and from the ground (I can't be bothered to find the right name... staglacites and stalagite... something like that). It's really cool and breezy but we have to walk too much (think of the mountain but on the ground). The Deer cave was one shit covered cave - literially. Bat shit (guano) was everywhere and it was very ... well, very shitty. And you can just imagine the smell. Then in the Wind cave - out of all the millions of rock formations, my mum points to a rock and says 'that looks like a dick!' and the guide tells her that there are a lot of stories about that rock but he won't tell them there are 'students' around. But I was too sick of laughing to hear that because my mum actually sounded very serious when she did the 'hey that looks like a dick' thing. We took a swim in the Clearwater caves - very very very very cold. And deep and strong, but it was rather refreshing and I pushed my sister in... so I was -happy-.

Batang Ai
Batang Ai... ah yes. The english translation of this place is "My Dick" but I won't say anything more. It is actually a really -big- and BEAUTIFUL lake. Wonderful and lovely and surrounded by trees. There's only one hotel there (a Hilton at that!) so civilisation is nonexistent. We went to check out the longhouses, the people there and their culture. Very cool - they were former headhunters and there were skulls hanging in their homes. Also topless women! but there were 72 year-olds so there wasn't a real turn-on. No, there wasn't ANY turn-on. Some girls there thought I was from China because they kept on screaming "Ni How Ma!" then giggling and running away went I turned. Weird didn't I tell you? Anyways, the Hilton there was really really -sad-. 125 rooms and only 25 people in the whole hotel. A HUGE dining room and only 5 tables occupied. Very sad. And the steak sucked.

Kuching
We had three free days to recuperate and just space out before heading back to Kuala Lumpur. Kuching is okay - the capitol of Sarawak is really developed. But boring. I just stayed in hotel room and slept a lot. Shopping was limited and eating was explosive.

Kuala Lumpur
This is where it all came back together. Shopping! But I ate most of it. Kuala Lumpur is just too much - you have to dress up everytime you want to go out. People look at you really weird they are just too cool. And if you don't speak the language (think ME) then you're screwed because they want to sell you things 3 times their price even if it's FAKE. Shitty. We spent the final 2 weeks there. The first week was pretty cool, we got a small apartment and had my parent's 20th anniversaire dinner with 5 families from my mum's side at a Japanese buffet. AHHHHHHHHHHhhh - I miss all that food. I'm going crazy. Okay okay okay - KLCC is really big, you get lost everytime you go there. The Petronas towers (tallest in the world - take that America!) towers above the KLCC mall, so you get kinda spaced out. But great shopping, I got most things that I wanted. The second week in KL was a bit hectic. We stayed at my aunt's house. From my dad's side. At the same time, his other sister was also in Malaysia. So let's see...cousins? 15,15,15,13,13,12,9,8, and 6. This time rather big cousins but it was fun. Think more choas. Then multiply by six. Crazy, but cool. I spent my time on the Playstation as most of the time people were out at school. I went shopping with my cousins and played 'pool.' Hey, they are as coooooooooool as some people can be. We played football on that Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was cool, I scored -countless- of goals (swear, it was rather easy). But on Sunday I was rather tired (and my dad chased me out of the house to play football so that he could watch the Waterboy) and so i could only manage 2 goals. but we played with teh 17 year old guys... kinda scary when you only have sneakers and they have their FULL SOCCER GEAR ON - complete with metal studs. But I scored twice! Yeah! On my last touch I also manage to smash my right leg (again) against this big purple guy - now I don't know if I can make it to SAISA soccer this year. Shit. Oh - I forgot, incase you didn't now, I broke my right leg this year so I was out for 6 months with a cast on and crutches so no SAISA soccer in 9th grade :( Goodbye Malaysia. We kick Norway's Ass.