Oreo's Journal

Mar. 27, 2001
I think I live in the ghetto. Some nasty tramp cat was doing her little "look at me, I'm sexy walk" by the window, then went over and peed on our front door. Now, normally I wouldn't complain, but boy did she stink!! She must be making kittens with every cat in the complex. Well, if you can read stinky cat, don't go peeing in my direction any more!

Mar. 26, 2001
So, I don't think I did anything wrong. I'm sitting on the couch with Chris and he starts poking at me. We start playing, I'm on my back, he's grabbing my hind feet, then ***WHACK*** I popped him right in the face. I bent those 2 eyes he wears all day. I guess I broke a piece on his nose too. He got them fixed, but whoa was he not happy. He threw me outside for a while. Whatever. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Mar. 22, 2001
Meow.

Mar. 21, 2001
You know, cats don't always lick their butt. We find other ways to clean, scratch, and enjoy our butts. I like to drag my butt across the living room floor. Today, I had to itch it so bad I went for it. Dumb me. Let's just say, next time I need to make sure I don't leave a brown streak. Renee seemed pretty upset about that one.

Mar. 12, 2001
It was a great weekend. Reneé was gone, so Chris and I spent the whole weekend crapping on Reneé's bathroom floor. Well, at least, I did.

Mar. 11, 2001
So, there's a reason why I act like I do with Chris. That fool game me some of those meaty circles from his pizza. It was good, but man I had to hit Reneé's bathroom rug shortly after.

Mar. 9, 2001
Looks like Reneé left me with Chris for the weekend. Great. He's going to make me play with that stupid, fabric mouse. "Oh, look at me! I'm a dumb cat who just eats, sleeps, and likes to play with that dumb mouse." Human, doesn't even watch for more than 20 seconds.

Feb. 25, 2001
Okay, so why are Chris and Reneé sleeping as much as me? Those lazy asses need to get up and leave me alone! They've been doing nothing but eating, sleeping and drinking. Species traitors.

Feb. 22, 2001
I survived. Seems the humans need to congregate on occassion. I recognized the smell of Reneé's human friends "Mom" and "Caitlin," but the one they call "Dona," she fooled me into thinking that dog was here. They finally left today (after 30 cat moons). Now I can sleep without worrying about Ciatlin waking me up.

Feb. 16, 2001
I THINK JAKE IS SAN DIEGO!! That four-legged menace, I smelled him all day. I didn't hear his stupid bark, but man his scent is everywhere. I going under the bed.

Feb. 14, 2001
Crappy Valentine's day. Chris and Reneé opened gifts in front of me laughing because I didn't get any. They left a Reece's Cup on the table. I think I'll eat that and replace it with my own kind of Reece's.

Feb. 8, 2001
I was laughing my kitty butt off watching Reneé try to get in. She locked herself out and I stood in the window laughing with the keys under my butt. She did go to the mystery cat's apartment next door. I smelled her and I think its a boy. More news later.

Feb. 2, 2001
So, I peed on the chair this morning. Stupid me didn't realize Chris was home. He bathed me in my own urine then threw me in the shower. Jerk.

Jan. 23, 2001
Those pricks didn't even feed me last night. This time I crapped and peed all over my leather camode. Next time I don't eat, they'll be waking up with a funny taste in their mouth.

Jan. 18, 2001
Today spent the night in San Diego. I couldn't wait any longer so on my first night back I . . . well let's just say I use leather toilet paper.

Jan. 12, 2001
Today I licked myself. I also was outside all day so I could roll around in the mud and crawl in bed with Reneé. I can't wait to get back to San Diego so I can crap on that black leather beanbag chair of Chris's.