SCULLY: Scully.....
MULDER: Scully it's me.
SCULLY: Where the hell are you?
MULDER:Don't know close to some town. Heard they had a special collectors edition of 'The Loch Ness Monster; Truth or Fiction' for sale on video digital enhanced even. So I felt the need to own this that and I was bored. CC decided it was time to have Mulder's apartment sprayed for roaches and I just got a raise so I figured why not go and buy this video. Oh and for the first 10 people they are throwing in the THX box set of the BigFoot videos. So I'll be at that video store camping out till they open. Why what are you doing
SCULLY:Um... nothing just cleaning my gun. And thinking about food... Is it just me or does it feel like we have done this ep. before?
MULDER: It's just you. But it does feel a tad earlier then normal.
SCULLY: Well that’s because Fox Network as moved us. Jeez David don't you read the TV Guide?
MULDER: Yeah, but I just read the gossip section so I can see who I'm supposed to be dating. Speaking of that have you heard from Wilona lately. She was supposed to go with me to the Emmy's but stood me up. I bet that old flame of hers called what’s is face form that rock band what’s their name...
SCULLY: Um... Soul Asylum.... I prefer the Butthole Surfers my self... Oh hold on a sec they are on the radio got to crank it....
SCULLY STARTS SINGING ALONG WITH THE RADIO
'I don't mind the sense of time... something clothes.....Da da da hmm hmm.... I forgot the words. Cinnamon and sugary and I don't really know.... but I really like this song even if I don't how it goes."
MULDER: SCULLY!!!! Turn that down I can't hear what you are saying.
SCULLY: Sorry... I didn't say anything just singing along with the radio.
MULDER: Oh, ok, well got to go. Got to make sure I'm one of the first 10 people in the store. Chat with you later Scully.
SCULLY: Scully...
MULDER: Scully it's me.
SCULLY: Oh Hi Mulder what’s up?
MULDER: Oh, much just some people in this town seem to be getting attacked by roaches.
SCULLY: Eeehh! Roaches. Well thanks for ruining my supper! Well I have to admit I do prefer roaches over those damn kitties in that really dumb kitty cat ep. Oh I just remembered I have a tube of rocky road Ice cream in the freezer... Since you spoiled my dinner with roaches think I'll stuff my face with ice cream and surf the net...
MULDER: Hey got to run I think the killer roaches are on the move again.
SCULLY: Scully...
MULDER: It's me again... what ya doing?
SCULLY: Washing my dog...
MULDER: You mean your not eating... I thought CC wanted to put some pounds on Scully and has you eating through out the entire ep?
SCULLY: Well I just devoured a whole tub of ice cream while surfing the net... BTW came across some really nice pics of you on some web-site... downloaded them too. But later I was going to sit and read 'Breakfast at Tiffany’s'. David I still can't believe you let Stephen King beat you on Jeopardy. Oh, BTW I'm a Jeopardy answer now cool huh? So what’s up?
MULDER: Gillian hush about the Jeopardy thing at least we got Alex Terbic(sp) to star in Jose Chung from that bad experience and Stephen really appreciated the fact I blew it and is considering writing an ep for next season. Oh and the killer roaches are on the rampage again. The latest was some guy on the toilet.
SCULLY: Mulder check is eye is it red?
MULDER: Yeah... now how'd ya know that?
SCULLY: It's in the script and this is a repeat.
MULDER: Well got to run and break and enter some house... Ooo and I just remembered the next scene I get to meet Bambi.. And she is Hot! Damn I wished CC would make her my new girl on the show.
SCULLY: I thought you wanted Wilona as the girl.
MULDER: Well she got the ax so CC could give *you* a big bra-strap adjustment scene! Seems in the last few new eps, your um.. cleavage as been rather noticeable too and Fox Net wants CC to write more Scully/Cleavage scenes as to entice the younger male audience to stay tuned.
SCULLY: Well they do need some incentive since it appears there is probably going to be a damn 7th game and no show for the new night FoxNet has moved us too.
MULDER: True.... IMHO the thing is rigged.. It's a conspiracy they are using Baseball to try and shut us down Scully!
SCULLY: Well I thought they were trying to use football... I mean come on here, the first Sunday night ep airs after that dumb Cowboy Dolphin game and the Jimmy/Barry battle.... But hey weren't you all hot and bothered about seeing Bambi?
MULDER:Yeah! Bambi! Talk at ya later! Bye!
SCULLY: Scully....
MULDER: It's me again...
SCULLY: OK who died now, and did you enjoy your little romp with Bambi?
MULDER:No one died and Bambi is HOT!
A GIRLIE SCREAM IN THE BACKGROUND
SCULLY: What was that?
MULDER: Well it sure didn't sound like a girlie scream!
SCULLY:It did to me are you sure Bambi isn't with you and that wasn't her girlie scream?
MULDER: NO! got another roach attack got to run...
SCULLY: That’s it! I'm on my way... I'll be damned if Bambi is going to take my place as female lead in this show... Now if I could only find out where the hell the road maps are life would be great... oh look milk duds...
SCULLY:Dr. Bambi I presume...
BAMBI: Oh, like yeah! Like this scene really stinks, and like I really don't want to have like to go in there and like get crap all in my hair. That would be like totally gross and gag me with a spoon.
SCULLY: Yeah... just like I figured a bimbo... Well Dr. Bambi this is no place for an eprtyrtrist....um roach Dr. I'm a professional so let me and Mulder handle this. Just sit back and wait for Millennium... me and Mulder got the situation under control.
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