TFWD

11/4/96
The Field Where I Died
'The Field Where I Died'
Umm.... The Musical???..... A Nothingness Review
by C.Schmidt ®

All standard disclaimers apply and were designed just for this reason.. I own nothing it belongs to CC and them Fox people and Terry Jacks.

Opening Scene -
Mulder is standing in a field.... possibly the field where he dies. But for some reason he has a different look on his face. Not the usual deadpan emotionless one. It is the deadpan emotionless with a hint of contemplation.... He is staring at 2 old civil war time photos and talking to himself.... And the music starts, and Mulder starts to sing....

'Good bye to you my trusted friend...we've known each other since we were 9 or 10....Together we've climbed hills and trees...Learned of love and ABC's, skinned our hearts and skinned our knees....Good bye my friend it's hard to die....When all the birds are singing in the sky.....Now that the spring is in the air....Pretty girls are everywhere, Think of me and I'll be there.........

Cue opening theme -
But change it from the normal spooky x-files theme, after all this is Sunday and we need not scare people..... So lets change it to Terry Jacks's 'Seasons on the Sun' but first gotto get the lawyers to obtain the copyrights, or Mr. Jacks might sue and have the show shut down...... So Mulder continues the song with cast joining in on the sing along and continue the song Mulder started in the opening scene.......

"We had joy we had we had fun we had seasons in the sun... but hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time.........."

Commercial and an add for 'Fox' home of the XXXXXXXXXXVIIIIIIIII Super Bowl and next weeks Melsore Place, but we can't tell you any more.

Everyone is gathered around the x-files version of a Waco compound in Tenseness and the blue grass music is howling in the background..... One of the ATF agents swears he just saw Elvis... Mulder brushes it aside as a causality of the case and the agent's close work into finding this cult's hide out .... "I think you spent to much time at Graceland Agent." The federal forces bust the doors and search the compound for weapons and cult followers, but find zilch....

1st STAND IN AFT AGENT: Let's burn it! That will drive them out!

2nd STAND IN AFT AGENT: Wait... we have to make sure the media is out side covering this when we do... but go ahead and get the tear gas and bombs ready!

Mulder and Scully enter and all dressed for a raid. Scully adjusts her bra strap or was that her shoulder holster?.....

MULDER: Hold up agents! I think I know where they are.

SCULLY: What now?! The AFT people searched high and low and they couldn't find them what makes you think you know where they are?

MULDER: I just know... That and it's in the script, so humor me Scully... Come on.

SCULLY:Fine! But I still think we should not have had that 'Poltergeist' marathon last night... You are acting like you are that little lady with the psychic ability..."Run into the light, run into the light."

MULDER: Shut up Scully! Now come on... they're over there... In that hole in the ground.

Mulder, Scully and the useless AFT Agents walk to the hole, and sure enough there they are.

MULDER: See told ya Scully! Hey that one chick looks familiar... where have I seen her?

SCULLY: She was in that Fox show that got canceled Space Above and Beyond. Remember Fox canceled it because nobody watches shows scheduled on Sundays after Football, John Madden scares all the viewers away especially when the games go into overtime. So now Wong and Morgon write for us again and all the guest stars in this season will be actors and actress's from Space Above and Beyond.... It was part of the deal Wong and Morgon made with CC. Of course all of them will be nominated for Emmy's and win! You won't get a nomination even though CC has you crying later in this ep. And God I hope I'm not the next Susan Lucci or Anglea Landsberry of the Emmy's. I want my Emmy damn it!
MULDER:Oh yeah... that’s were I've seen her... she is hot! And for some reason I feel like I've known her all my life, like we are soul mates.
SCULLY: Jeez Mulder, don't you ever read the scripts anymore! Now stop staring at her lets go... I need some throat lozenges(sp), CC for some dumb reason has us signing through out this ep...It's his idea of a bad take on Queen's Bohemiam Rhapsody.... and this scene calls for another musical interlude.

MULDER: I read the scripts Scully.... And the musical thing was Skinner's fault! CC has been busy with that *other* show... the one that took *our* spot on Friday and gets all the attention... And Skinner suggested we do a musical and boy did he brown nose and got his way. That’s not fair! I have been whining for a babe all summer and Skinner does his pitch and one week later we are stuck singing this really old and bad song.

SCULLY: True... I hate this song.... why didn't CC pick something a bit more recent and like ..um.. better.

Good bye papa please pray for me.... I was the black sheep of the family...You tried to teach me right from wrong....Too much wine and too much song, wonder how I got along....Good bye papa it's hard to die... When all the birds are singing in the sky... Now that the spring is in the air....Little children everywhere...When you see them I'll be there....

The surrounding AFT agents, Mulder and Scully gather in closely clasping hands and swaying to the music as they join in with the rest of the cult followers and sing the chorus....
"We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun....But the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone....We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun... But the wine and the song like the seasons are all gone....."

Skipping..um.. moving right along..... Lot's of regressive hypnosis and revealing of past lives happens...

SCULLY: Why the hell was I a sergeant in your past life Mulder??? Why couldn't have been your sex pot, instead of the SBAB cross over actress.... This is not fair she gets Mulder in the sack, don't care if it was a past life it still happened and she'll get that damn Emmy! And me nadda... no sex, no Emmy just stuck here in Vancouver in the rain and Uhberless! See it's all because of that dumb PROP 209... Think I'll take some time off and go hang out with the other celebs at the House of Blues and get myself on MTV and bitch about it! Wanna join me?

MULDER: Huh???? Oh yeah I like the House of Blues...I'm game.. when do leave?

SCULLY: After we wrap this ep up... So lets hurry, and after wards we can mingle with other stars and get invites to neat parties like the Carrie Fisher/Cindy Williams bash... That was fun.

Skinner busts in...

SKINNER: Hurry we just a tip from our illegally placed bugs that the cult weirdo's are planning a mass suicide attempt again!

All race to the compound and weed their way through all the masses of media and extra needless FBI agents as the raid goes familiarly wrong....

SKINNKER: Reno is not going to be happy with this 2 botched raids on religious fanatics in one term.... not good! And with the elections on Tuesday...oh boy really not good! Scully and Mulder can I join you on that trip to LA???

MULDER: NO! It was your fault we are stuck in this really bad musical ep!

SCULLY: Yeah! You can't come we don't wanna play with you no more! Come on Mulder hurry up and go in there and cry so we can get this last song out of the way and bolt to LA with out Skinner! Next Time Skinner keep your dumb ideas about showtunes and eps to yourself!

Mulder runs to the compound and Scully re-adjusts her bra again whilst she waits for the climax of the ep and the ever touching Mulder crying scene.

Mulder arrives and finds all dead... Scully hands him the onion and Mulder sheds a few tears.... Then grabs the old civil war photos and through the magic of TV Mulder is now standing in that field where he dies.... Gee this looks and sounds just like the opening scene... Que music... Mulder proceeds to sing...

"Good bye Melissa...Michele"
ROB BOWMAN: CUT!! CUT!!! Get the words to the song right David! Geez It's Michele not Melissa!

MULDER: Sorry Rob... it's just with Melissa being my soul mate I thought...

ROB BOWMAN: You thought you would just re-write the script and the lyrics... Well don't think we don't pay you to think we pay you to act! We pay Wong and Morgan to write and we paid Terry Jacks for the rights to use his song as is no re-writes! Or we could get sued! Now Action!

MULDER:" Good bye Michele my little one....You gave me love and help me find the sun...Everytime that I was down....You would always come around...And get my feet back on the ground...Good bye Michele it's hard to die... When all the birds are singing in the sky... Now that the spring is in the air...With the flowers everywhere...I wish that we could both be there....

Scully, Skinner and the extra FBI agents slowly walk behind Mulder and all join hands and proceed to sing along with Mulder all are standing in the field where he dies singing....

"We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun... But the stars we could reach were just star fish on the beach... We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun... But the stars we could reach were just star fish on the beach..."

The rest of the cast and crew gather around the singing ones and join in...

"We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun....But the wine and the and the song like the season are all gone...All our life's we had fun....we had seasons in the sun... but the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time... We had joy we had joy we had fun......."

they continue singing repeating those damn words over and over and fade away as the credits roll the sun sets and we get ready for scenes for next weeks ep......

THE END