DISCLAIMER: Soap Opera Special (SOS) is an ongoing collection of fictional stories. Any resemblance to real life people or organizations is purely coincidental. SOS is a fictional newsletter reporting on events at the fictional Metro City Transport Syndicate (MCTS).
BRAVE AND FREE
MCLC ENDORSES ANTI-UN ION CANDIDATE FOR U.S. PRESIDENT 11/4/99 Juan Goldbrick is back at it. We have pointed out in past articles how Goldbrick constantly favors big government over the interests of working families. Deal with it, if Goldbrick had his way your entire paycheck would go to Washington. But now in a feature story in the Labor Press, he endorses a Tennessee red neck with a strong history of voting in favor of the "right to work", which as we all know means "no union shops". Not only is Goldbrick anti-family, but anti-union as well! Who is Goldbrick going to stab in the back next?
CREAM PUFF GATE 8/18/99 On the opening day of the State Fair, the big news was that Tipper Gore was making a campaign stop and photo opportunity ( on behalf of hubby, Al) by working briefly at the popular cream puff stand. Well, MCTS management decided to get into the act by ordering 72 cream puffs for the downtown elite. Where did the $144 come from to pay for this treat? We don't know and don't even care. What we do care about is that a Route Supervisor was dispatched to pick up and deliver the goodies. ("Keep that air-conditioner cranked all the way up, we don't want those puffs to melt"). The same people who order the Route Supervisors to hound drivers, use these poor guys as their personal errand boys! One final bit of irony, the errand boy... er, we mean Route Supervisor, was not offered a cream puff for his efforts.
PEEPER PROBE PROVES POINTLESS 7/16/99 When things are slow (which is usually the case) at the Kakuna station, assistants Derick and Ike keep busy by talking to their stockbrokers or watching the drivers play cards. Peeping Joe, on the other hand, likes to be productive by searching for outlawed copies of OPERATOR SPECIAL and by playing private eye.
Thus when an operator reported parking lot damage to his car, PeepMan sprang into action. When he located a car with paint marks on it's fender, "Case Solved", he extolled! "No point in investigating any further, bring that guilty driver into my office"! Turns out that the "guilty" driver was on his day off and out of town on the day of the damage. One might expect an apology, right? Heck no. "I was just doing my job and, besides, I didn't hand out any discipline", was all Peep Meister would mutter.
PEEPER SHOWDOWN A DRAW 6/9/99 The ongoing fued between Peeping Joe and a recently retired driver has reached an anti climatic conclusion. The Peepster had vowed to harass him until retirement, while the driver persisted in thumbing his nose at the boss man. The new retiree said, "Joe can't touch me now." Meanwhile, The Peep Mister was bitter to the end, " I put an interview request slip on his final pay stub."
PLATFORM INSTRUCTORS TO BE TESTED 6/9/99 Ms. Kate T. Jetts is getting tough with her crew of platform instructors. New instructors will be subject to strict written and oral testing. This is okay but what has the veteran instructors up in arms is a proposal that they will also be tested, no matter how many years they have been doing the job. Several insturctors expressed concerns that the chain smoking Jetts will use the test results as an excuse to rid herself of personnel with whom she has personality conflicts.
PIP PRO POPS LID 5/17/99 As with all stories In SOAP OPERA SPECIAL, all characters mentioned within are fictional. After under going PIP training, an operator (name withheld) was called into a private meeting room with the chain smoking Ms. Kate T. Jetts. The operator was denied union representation ("This is not a disciplinary meeting" said a peeved Ms. Jetts.) He was also denied having a third party as a witness at the meeting. "Ms. Jetts and I do not have an amiable history, so I thought having a witness present would help keep her in line," the driver told SOAP OPERA SPECIAL. As the meeting progressed, Jetts became increasingly frustrated when she could not get the driver to admit to fault in an incident in which he was assaulted. The breaking point came when a ranting, table pounding Jetts ordered the driver removed from the room by a supervisor.
We tell this story because, while this was going on, another driver was being fired (later reduced to a seven day suspension) for making a politically incorrect statement to a street punk who had just spit at him. Management can't control themselves under the secure environment of the Hillslide facility, yet they attempt to fire a driver for a statement made under a real life threatening situation. We think Ms. Jetts could use a little refresher course behind the wheel of a bus before her next PIP class.
PEEPER SHOWDOWN AT KK SOON 4/9/99 In February we reported a threat by Peeping Joe in which he promised to harass a driver until his retirement this coming June. Well that driver informs us that Joe has just posted his number on the interview list. The driver says that "Joe can ---- my ---- before I'll go in. They still owe me travel time pay for the last time I went in." This puts the peeper in a tight spot; because this driver (and five others) have filed complaints with the State on the travel time issue, MCTS is now gun-shy about making drivers return to the station for discipline. We like this driver's style.
JUAN GOLDBRICK BACK AT IT 4/1/99 Back in January, we did a story detailing the run-ins with the law that have plagued our former local President Juan Goldbrick. Since then he has intensified his antics including blowing a deal for 998 because of his strong arm tactics. Yesterday he appeared at a political rally and instigated an argument with a political opponent. Before being hauled away, Goldbrick managed to accuse a respected radio show host of "anti-Semitism". The host was quoted in the morning paper as calling Goldbrick "an idiot." We agree. Goldbrick has evolved into a flower child in jackboots. The sad part is that we continue to pay this man's salary. Why? What does the MCLC do for us other than cause embarrassment? (this story and all people mentioned are fictional)
NEXT HOT STORY 4/1/99 Coming soon to SOAP OPERA SPECIAL, an instructor whose job is to teach us how to interact with problem passengers, explodes at training meeting. This is good.
SUPERVISOR ASSAULTS DRIVER 3/19/99 We have known of this story for a few weeks but, out of respect for the feelings of the driver involved, have withheld publication. However, we have been informed by the driver that the matter as been resolved to his satisfaction and that the story should be told.
Nearing his layover on the far south side of the city, the driver stopped to use a convenience store rest room facility. In his haste, he left his transfers in the cutter and the bus door open. One passenger (a regular) remained on the bus. Upon his return, the driver was surprised to see that a MCTS supervisor had boarded the bus and was angrily shaking a handful of transfers at him. When the driver expressed that he thought this was somewhat of a trivial matter, the supervisor began poking him in the chest with his hand-radio. The passenger tried, at this point, to intervene but was also yelled at by the supervisor. The driver was very upset and was barely able to finish his run.
On a happier note, the supervisor has since apologized to the driver. The driver tells us that the apology was sincere and that he will not pursue the issue any further. We report this story only because drivers need to know that if something like this happens to them, they are not alone.(This story is fictional)
HINDSIGHTS 3/18/99 Our weekend
mail included the latest issue of HINDSIGHTS, the company newsletter. Three
things caught our eye. 1) Tomaso Kiwijava actually gives the bus drivers
a pat on the back. What a contrast from the usual lecture on the politically
correct subject de jour. 2) Little Cohnnie Webster is promoted to
part time dispatch. Good for him, fantastic for us; keep this guy off the
streets! 3) 35th anniversary is celebrated by KK Joe. WOW! Congratulations
from the staff at SOAP OPERA SPECIAL. (all people in this story are fictitious)
WHY WE NEED REAL SAFETY SHIELDS
CONGRATULATIONS 3/8/99 Congratulations to the driver who wrote us two weeks ago with the prediction that Juan Goldbrick (not his real name) would be elected President of MCLC (Metro City Labor Council). Your tip was right on the money! As we have pointed out before, when Goldbrick was president of our local, he was somewhat of a lapdog who was consistently bamboozled by management. Hopefully, we'll be able to call upon Juan when we need a favor; he sure owes us for all his mess-ups.
YOU'VE GOT MAIL 3/9/99 Some operators are getting letters, in the company mail, from Kate T. Jetts (not a real person). The subject of these letters is to warn operators of their poor performance in obtaining witness cards. We would like to remind Ms. Jetts that in many areas of the city, cooperating with authority figures is frowned upon. Half the passengers in these areas have open arrest warrants and the other half can't write. Cut us some slack here Kate T., we're bus drivers not social architects.
MAYOR ORDERS DRIVER FIRED 3/8/99 Two weeks ago, a driver who was being harassed by a street punk, reached his breaking point and (gasp!) uttered a politically incorrect statement. This was promptly reported to the office of Mayor Nockwurst (not his real name), by a lame brain passenger. Well, Mayor Nockwurst was just coming off of a stinging political defeat at the hands of a local casino interest. This was just the issue he needed to pump up his pathetic ego. A phone call to ex-political crony and MCTS boss Tomaso Kiwijava (not his real name) and the deed was done.
Thanks to some excellent work by the union, the driver is back on the job after losing about 7 days of work. Now several points need to be addressed. MCTS is a company which values style over substance. The thug walks free, while the driver has to go home and tell his family they no longer have an income. And why? Because a two-bit politician and his toady have a misplaced sense of values. And finally, Mayor Nockwurst, don't come around here looking for endorsements or campaign contributions, ever.
TWO HOT UPCOMING STORIES 3/5/99 Expect to see an update on the driver fired for improper flasher use soon. We also have two stories brewing which are so juicy, they can only be reported in SOAP OPERA SPECIAL. Want a teaser? First, we have an assault on a driver. Big deal! That happens every day! Not when the assailant is an MCTS supervisor! Second , we have a driver who was fired because of a complaint from the mayor. When we get permission we will run with these stories. Keep in mind, this is all fiction.
PEEPER USES SNIFFER TO BUST DRIVER
MORE "PEEPING JOE" 2/17/99 Last month when we reported the story of a KK boss carding an off-duty operator, we jokingly added, "what's next Joe, video cameras in the rest room stalls?" An operator reports to us that we're not that far off. It seems that he parked his bus in front of the KK station so that he could use the lobby rest room facility. Unbeknownst to the driver, "Peeping Joe" was timing him with a stopwatch! And get this, after the driver returned to his bus, the KK boss entered the rest room and sniffed around for evidence of cigarette smoke! And yes, peeper's hunch was right, the pungent aroma of tobacco was present (amongst several less desirable odors). "Peeping Joe", once again, has gone beyond the call of duty and is deserving of commendation from the downtown brass and a big belly laugh from the rank and file.
IRATE PEEPER VOWS, "I'M GOING TO HARASS YOU 'TILL JUNE"! 2/22/99 The operator involved in the "Peeping Joe" sniffing episode told SOAP OPERA SPECIAL, today , that there is more to the story. It seems that when the operator returned to the station after finishing his run, he was confronted by "Peeping Joe". The resulting conversation was explosive and the peeper ended it by wagging his finger (ala Bill Clinton) in the face of the driver and said, "I'm going to harass you until June". The driver is planning to retire in June. If "Peeping Joe" does carry out his threat, you can count on SOAP OPERA SPECIAL to report every detail.
A COWARDLY ACT BY A COWARDLY MAN 2/8/99 On Thursday 2/4/99 an operator was fired by an out-of-control KKboss ("Peeping Joe"). The reason given to the operator was insubordination stemming from his repeated improper use of flashers!!! If you are requested to see "Peeping Joe" for any reason (including your annual review) do not go in without union representation; He cannot be trusted.
