Ikariku's Funny Library
!!!!! Notice !!!!!!
All the jokes i posted on the homepage is composed by someone else, not me..
I have no copyrights on those jokes.....
If u r the composer.... then sorry....
If u r just a reader... then enjoy....
71. Engineer Traits
You might be an engineer if...
-If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
-If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
-If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
-If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
-If Dilbert is your hero
-If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
-If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
-If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
-If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
-If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place
-If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids'toys
-If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
-If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts
-If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one
to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
-If you window shop at Radio Shack
-If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the
latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
-If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
-If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a
test that actually takes five minutes to run
-If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment
-If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
-If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
-If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
-If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
-If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
-If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
-If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
-If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
-If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor
-If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
-If you have never backed-up your hard drive
-If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing
games, but are afraid to say it out loud
-If you truly believe aliens are living among us
-If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
-If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
-If you see a good design and still have to change it
-If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
-If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
-If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters
your mind
-If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember
where they are
-If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
tires
-If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal
-If you have more toys than your kids
-If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
-If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
-If your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
-If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
-If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
-If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush
up to the front to fix it
-If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
-If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel
and have seen most of the shows already
-If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what
RPN stands for
-If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew
up thinking that was normal
-If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size
screw driver to use
-If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
-If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
-If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this
week
-If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
-If you did the sound system for your senior prom
-If your checkbook always balances
If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
-If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
-If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
-If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers
-If you think your computer looks better without the cover
-If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they
didn't get enough sleep
-If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
-If you spend more on your home computer than your car
-If you know what http:/ stands for
-If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
-If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your
garage
-If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest
satellite weather picture with yours
-If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory
-If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
-If your 4 basic food groups are: 1.Caffeine 2.Fat 3.Sugar 4.Chocolate
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