Hash songs

Down Down Song
Here's to ______. He's true blue.
He's a hasher through and through,
He's a pisspot so they say.
Tried to get to haven, 
But he went the other way.
Drink it down, down, down, down

Meet the Hashers 
(Melody -  the Flintstones) 
Hashers, meet the hasher
They’re the biggest drunks in history
From the hash of the Hague
They’re the leaders in debauchery
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years
Watch them, as they down a lot of beer

Down-down, down-down down-down
Down down down down down down down down
Down down down down down
Down down down down down

His One-Skin
(Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
Roll back, Roll back, 
please roll back my foreskin for me, for me,
Roll back, Roll back, 
please roll back my foreskin for me, for me,
Drink it down, down, down...

Sexual Life of a Camel
(Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean) 
The sexual life of the camel, 
Is stranger than anyone thinks, 
At the height of the mating season 
He tries to bugger the Sphinx. 
But the Sphinx's posterior sphincter 
Is clogged by the sands of the Nile, 
Which accounts for the hump on the camel, 
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.

CHORUS: 
Singing, bum-titty, bum-titty, titty-bum, 
Bum-titty, bum-titty, aye. 
Singing, bum-titty, bum-titty, titty-bum, 
Bum-titty, bum-titty, aye

He's the Meanest
(To: Okinawa Down Down tune)
He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's p*nis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
He's always pissing on us,
He's rotten and dishonest,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
Drinking down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down.

Why Was He/She Born So Beautiful?
(Done as a tribute to hasher,
usually after a down down song,
but sometimes as the down down song)
Why was he (she) born so beautiful,
Why was he (she) born at all.
He's (she's) no f*cking use to anyone,
He's (she's) no f*cking use at all.
He (she) might be a joy to his (her) mother,
But he's (she's) a pain in the asshole to me!
(Sometimes mooning the recipient)

Whip It Out at the Ball Game
(Melody - Take Me Out to the Ball Game)
Whip it out at the ball game 
Wave it round at the crowd 
Dip it in peanuts and cracker jack 
We don't care if you give it a whack 
'Cause it's shoot your goo at the ball game 
If you don't come it's a shame 
Coz it's one, two, you've covered in goo 
At the old ball game

This Is Your Hashing Song
This is your Hashing song, 
It isn't very long 
Drink it down, down, down...

Head!
Who said head?
I'll have some of that,
So I did, and it was good
And then we f*cked.
We f*cked for hours
Uprooting trees & shrubs & flowers,
like Vikings, with horns on our HEAD! 
HEAD! Who said head?

Shitty Trail (A Song For The Hares)
Shitty trail (It sucked)
Shitty trail (really f*cked)
The hares went and laid a shitty trail (shitty trail)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Shitty trail (It sucked)
Shitty trail (really f*cked)
I would rather drink beer than hash your shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

He Ought to be Publicly Pissed On
He ought to be publicly pissed upon,
He ought to be publicly shot,
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down...

Hash Hymn
(Same tune as the lyrics. Sing with gestures, as actions speak much louder than words. Standard hash benediction closing down-downs.)

(Song master says, 'Respect for the Hash Hymn')

Chorus
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin' four two carry me home.
I looked over Jordan,
And what did I see-ee,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
A band of An-gels,
Cumin' after me-ee,
Cumin' four two carry me home...

(Song master says, '2nd verse')
If you get there be-four I doo,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
Tell all my friends I'm cumin' twoo,
Cumin' four two carry me home...

(Song master says, '3rd verse')
I'm sometimes up, I'm some-times down,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
But still my sole feels heav-en-ly bound,
Cumin' four two carry me home... (Top)

Options:

Song master says, 'Harlots', then women do chorus in high pitched voices, screaming in high pitched, exaggerated climax at the each pause.

Song master says, 'Real Men', then men do chorus in low, deep voices, exaggerating the size of their p*nis in the 'cumin' gesture by hold both hands apart in sweeping, two-handed mast*rbating gesture and swinging hands low to the ground with 'swing low'

Song master says, 'Ray Charles', then pack closes eyes and sings chorus with gestures, moving head from side to side with the beat.

Song master says, 'Scooby Doo', then pack sings chorus with gestures using a semi-deep voice with every word beginning with the letter 'W' (Wing Wow, Weet Warriot)

Song master says, 'Humming', then pack hums chorus with gestures.

Song master says, 'Silently', then pack does chorus silently with gestures only, following the lead of the song master. Song masters who screw up the gestures significantly are traditionally awarded a down down after the song.

Song master says, 'Fast Finish', then pack sings loud and fast with gestures)
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin' four two carry me home...
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin' four two carry me home.
(Slowly)
Cumin' four two carry me home.

Hash Hymn Gesture Dictionary

All - Make wide sweeping gesture with hands outward.

Angels - Flap hands to side as though flying.

Band - Hold hands in front of you, cuffing the fingers and making a gesture as though playing the slide of a trombone.

Be-four - hold up four fingers.

Carry - Put hands together in front and briskly swing them back and forth as though cradling a baby.

Cumin' - Cuff hand and make a mast*rbation gesture. (Some hashers mask the motion with slight of hand by first moving the other hand behind their head and patting it a split second before the mast*rbating gesture, sometimes coughing at the same time).

Chariot - Shake both hands outward as though holding the reins and make horse whinnying noises.

Doo - Put hands on hips and squat as though taking a crap. 

Down - Put index and thumb together near crotch as if holding a small p*nis then move the hand downward slightly and wiggle it briskly.

Four - Hold up four fingers.

Friends - Cuff fingers of left hand held outward in front, with thumb and index finger forming a circle. Rapidly insert and withdraw the index finger of the right hand into the circle in a universal fornication gesture. 

Home - Hold arms above your head, fingers extended and touching together forming a 'roof' over your head.

I - Point to your eye with your index finger

I'm - Point to your chest with your index finger

Heavenly Bound - With hand holding foot, swing it into the air.

Jordan - (River Jordan, traditional) Move hands outward, then right to left, wiggling fingers in a wave motion.
(Michael Jordan, U.S.) Make a basketball jump shot motion.

Looked - Shading eyes with hand and moving head back and forth as if searching.

Me or My - Point to your chest with your index finger.

Over - Sweep hand from 'Looked' position outward.

See - Point index finger from 'I' position outward.

Sole - Point to bottom of shoe.

Still - (as in distiller) Make drinking gesture with hand, moving head backward.

Sweet - Kiss 1st and 2nd finger and thumb together, throwing the kiss outward.

Swing Low - Intertwine fingers forming a cradle and with arms down, swing them back and forth.

Tell - Put back of hand to mouth, rapidly moving thumb with fingers as in speaking gesture.

There - Point back over your shoulder with your index finger.

Two - Hold up two fingers.

Up - Cuff fingers in front as holding a long p*nis then move the hand upward.

What - Hands out to side, palms up as in a question.

You - Point outward with index finger.

Walking Around In Women's Underwear
(Montreal HHH Posh Nosh version)
Lacy things, the ex is missing.
Didn't ask, for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes, 
Her silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.

In the store, there's a teddy.
With little straps, like spaghetti.
It holds me so tight, 
Like handcuffs at night.
Walking around in women’s underwear

In the hash there's a guy named Yogi .
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say "Are you ready?"
I'll say, "Whoa man! Lets wait until Cheap Thrills is out of town."
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress, like Madonna. 
Put on some eyeshade, and join the parade.
Walking around in women's underwear.

Lacy things, missing.
Didn't ask, permission.
Wearing her clothes, silk panty hose.
Walking around in women's underwear.

We came out at Posh Nosh
What’s next? Oh my gosh!
Walking around in women's underwear.
Walking around in women's underwear...

12 Days of Christmas (Hash Version)

Words in brackets to be sung by rest of circle. To be sung to the 12 days of Christmas tune (if you hadn't guessed!)

On the 1st day of hashing my true love gave to me... a hand j*b that wasn't worth a f**k (worth a f**k)
On the 2nd day of hashing my true love gave to me... 2 tons of chalk and a hand j*b that wasn't worth a f**k (worth a f**k)
On the 3rd day of hashing my true love gave to me... 3 check backs, 2 tons of chalk and a hand j*b that wasn't worth a f**k (worth a f**k)
On the 4th day of hashing my true love gave to me... 4 false trails, 3.........etc. 
On the 5th day of hashing my true love gave to me... 5 round the world (beer on head and turn 360 degrees), 4........etc.
On the 6th day of hashing my true love gave to me.. 6 sixty-niners, 5......etc.
On the 7th day of hashing my true love gave to me.. 7 sweaty sports bras, 6.......etc.
On the 8th day of hashing my true love gave to me.. 8 aching arseholes, 7.......etc.
On the 9th day of hashing my true love gave to me.. 9 gnawed-off nipples, 8.........etc.
On the 10th day of hashing my true love gave to me.. 10 tons of shiggy (what) 10 tons of shiggy (what) 10 tons of shiggy (what) 10 tons of shiggy (what), 9.........etc.
On the 11th day of hashing my true love gave to me.. 11 asses icing, 10 tons.......etc.
On the 12th day of hashing my true love gave to me.. 12 kegs of beer, 11.......etc.

Life Presents A Dismal Picture
(To the tune of “Deutschland Uber Alles”)

Life presents a dismal picture
Full of grief and fraught with gloom
Father has an anal stricture
Mother has a fallen womb.

Sister Kate has been aborted
For the forty-second time
Uncle George has been deported
For a homosexual crime.

Aunt Mathilda’s menstruating
Never laughs and seldom smiles
Mine’s a dreary occupation
Cracking ice for Grandpa’s piles

And the baby’s no exception
She has epileptic fits
Every time she coughs she vomits
Every time she farts she shits.

Uncle George has won the national
Masturbation marathon
But he died of self-expression
After bumming Uncle Tom

But we will not be downhearted
We will not be f*cked about
Little Lucy has just farted
Turned her arsehole inside out.