Living and working in Spain

started on 14.02.1999 - finished on 23.01.2006

Sachverstand2 @ Geocities.com:

29. August 2006

Inhalt

• Inhalt
• 1. Living
• 2. Working
• 3. Driving car
  • 3.1 Concerning car
  • 3.2 Concerning you
• 4. Driving Motorcycle
• 5. Food
• 6. Heating
• 7. Sex
• 8. Spending time
• 9. Conclusion

1. Living

As soon as I know what living is I will write it here, I promise. I guess the following things are essential:

• a room with shower, bed, wardrobe, desktop and heating assembly;
• friends for talking, motorcycling, stealing horses and other fun;
• one car, one motorcycle (minimum) and a workshop;
• eating healthy, good-tasting food in sufficient quantities;
• a girl to give my love to and to feel good.
• ((added on 23.01.2006:) meanwhile I find 5 to 10 children to raise and educate more important. Things keep changing...)

2. Working

To work in Spain, you must learn Spanish. No excuses. Look at diction.htm for a first guide to Spanish.

Many Spanish can write English, but most of them pronounce English in the Spanish way, so you don't understand a word.

3. Driving car

3.1 Concerning car

• Make sure your car has enough oil, coolant and brake liquid.

• Make sure you car has sufficient brake pads and tires, clean filters and new windscreen wipers.

• Make sure that safety belts, hazard flasher and door locks work.

• Make sure you got spare spark plugs, bulbs (complete set), and v-belt.

• Always carry with you 5 liters of water, 5 of gasoline, and 5 of oil. And 2 (two) spare wheels with correct pressure. And tools to change them. And pieces of clothes to clean your hands.

• Have knife, clamp, wire, electrical wire connectors, fuses, a hammer, some gauges and some tubes always with you.

• Clean the windows of your car thorougly from inside (outside makes no sense - they are dirty when you slam the door).

• Have the suspension of the car measured and adjusted twice: when you start and if you come back.

• Use a cheap radio, cheap gloves (against sweat and dirt on the steering wheel) and cheap SUNGLASSES.

• Make sure you got a hazard warning sign, a pocket lamp and a handy.

3.2 Concerning you

Make sure you are used to the car and can find steering wheel, clutch, brakes and gas pedal. And gear shift.

You will find yourself driving the Spanish way one day:

• accelerating until the next curve comes;

• braking with engine and brakes;

• being very flexible with red traffic lights, white lines and areas on the road, speed limits, passing cars;

• never passing other cars when there are NO PASSING signs; these signs are the best in the world, they are only there when your security is concerned, and never attempting to dominate you;

• using just as much width of the road as you need (essential on mountain roads when passing trucks);

• cutting curves if no one comes against you;

• passing everything in sight;

• enjoying beautiful landscape views and driving mountain ''roads'' with screeching tires;

• using the gears with passion:

• low rpms for fuel saving. In town drive 50 km/h !!!!!! There are children on the road, and after a crash it is too late for explanations.

• middle rpms for accelerating, climbing mountains and downgoing mountains without overheating your brakes;

• high rpms to destroy your engine. (There are more ways to destroy your engine.)

• not seeing these white lines on the road, but switching lanes for pure fun. Especially in circle traffics.

• revveling the engine when waiting at a traffic light;

• driving only 20 km/h over limit if police is behind you;

• honking after so-called chicas.

Be always aware of usual obstacles. You have to pay what you destroy:

• dogs and cats, running on the streets;

• sheep, goats and cows, sometimes running on the street;

• people;

• stones, potholes, great potholes, very great potholes, missing parts of the street;

• trees, houses, junk, garbage cans, scooters, teens;

• other cars.

If possible, use Spanish streets in the following Order of Danger to get used to Spanish traffic terms:

• highway,

• ''normal'' road,

• town road,

• sandy road,

• stony road,

• road in construction,

• wet road,

• no road,

• mountain road,

• road by night,

• unknown mountain road by night with moving obstacles without illumination.

Use safety belt. Always.

Keep both hands on the wheel. Always.

Steer consciously into curves, and steer consciously out of curves.

Do not let the steering wheel go when leaving a curve. It could be your last curve.

Do not drink when driving.

Do not smoke when driving.

Do not touch your passenger when driving.

Do not enjoy views when driving.

Do not seek radio stations when driving. There are only Spanish and Arabian stations.

Enjoy driving. I think that's what Spain is good for.

4. Driving Motorcycle

Driving motorcycle is real fun in Spain, because you can pass most problems with the small silhouette and the big force of a motorcycle much better than with a car.

And if something happens, you won't need a health insurance. Only a trip home in a black body bag, and a coffin.

Oh come on, it's not dangerous!

Only dangers that you are not aware of are really dangerous. But if you drive like a Spanish, wearing your jeans at the knees and your jeans jacket on the elbows, and ALWAYS peering into the next curve wondering if it's a truck, a pothole or a cow that will welcome you there, it's real fun!

5. Food

If you are used to a healthy, satisfying, good tasting food, you will be bitterly disappointed, and most times hungry.

Spanish LOVE onions, oil, vinagre. But most, they love garlic.

You should start discovering Spanish food by insalata, filete de ternera, filete de cerdo, tortilla, white bread, and coca-cola or cerveza.

You could continue with patatas (oily pommes frites). If you can't stand oily pommes frites, you must earn a map of McDonald's and Burger Kings BEFORE you start your trip.

There is NO way to ask the waiter to leave off oil, garlic, onions, vinagre or any other things you dislike, if you cannot talk Spanish.

Spanish seem to think that they invented mixture of coffee and milk. There are different names for different proportions:

Name       % Coffee  % Milk

Café solo       100       0

Cortado          75      25

Café con leche   50      50

Manchiado        25      75

Leche caliente    0     100

Americano        Café solo, 100 % hot water added

6. Heating

There is no sufficient heating in spain, except you burn the furniture of your room.

7. Sex

I guess Spanish use sex only for reproduction. As with many other things, they are not very lucky with this.

If you LOVE small women with short legs, wide hips, strong bottoms, slim shoulders, big heads, dark hair, dark eyes and a loud and noisy voice without modulation, you will LOVE Spain.

Of course, you have to talk Spanish to get them in bed. Though I don't know the price - promising marriage or the like?

8. Spending time

If you LOVE chairs and tables that are suitable for children, Spanish menu charts, garlic and oil -

If you LOVE films where your favorite actor says ''Sayonara, baby!'' -

If you LOVE futbol -

If you enjoy junky beaches -

then, I guess, you might find your time worth to be spent in Spain.

All others read texts from Project Gutenberg, write email, and drive, and work.

9. Conclusion

In my opinion, you should risk your life to see Spain, to laugh about Spanish culture, to eat ridiculous or healthy (Burger King or McDonald's) food and to drive all these wonderful, curve-spangled, narrow roads.

As long as it's fun, that's for 2 weeks.

Über dieses Dokument ...

started on 14.02.1999 - finished on 23.01.2006

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