"What the hell do you think you're doing to me?"
I scream at a cruel world that doesn't care
The void stares back at me, mocking my passion
Mocking the intensity with which I implore
Someone, anyone, to answer my questions
I am answered only with silence.
There is no one who hears my pleas
My cries for help resound in my world
Either, as I suspect, no one cares
Or the world prevents those who would from
Coming to my aid.
I am not permitted to feel the slightest bit of hope
No release, no succour from those who might care
Or is caring itself merely an illusion?
Maybe I'm sitting in this void all alone
Other people, places, worlds, all an illusion in my head
Maybe my shattered life never really existed at all.
Other alternatives suggest themselves to my mind
In the absence of an answer from some higher power
Perhaps my life is merely a game to someone else
Situations manipulated to amuse and entertain
Meaningless to the observers, everything to me
Why won't they answer my wordless pleas?
Resolve hardens in the core of my soul
A bitter,barren place once again, devoid of compassion
If I am meant to amuse them with my anguished pleas
With the curcumstances that surround me
With my life, my actions, my thoughts
Then I can at least deprive them of that one amusement.
I laught harshly as I turn away from my despair
"Two can play at this game," I think to myself.
Or maybe I think to them, those silent observers who
Watch my life, my efforts, my trials and tribulations
To amuse themselves in their heartless lives.
I sharpen the knife as I look around me, searching for a sign
That someone observes and has caught this new turn of events.
Seeing nothing, I stare deep into the blade,
Watching faces of those I've cared about flash
Through the menacing light of the cold steel.
One last face I cling to,
One last imaginary person I hold in my thoughts
As the knife plunges towards me.
Bright flash of light as my consciousness fades for the last time
But as I fade away, I hear with dismay the one sound that is my undoing
My life dwindles out, a brief spark of flame extinguished as I listen
To the last sound I will ever hear in this world:
The sound of their laughter.
My last, horrified thought, as I finally leave this cold world is:
"They have won."