You fear to care too deeply
You fear to fall from your lofty height
You fear yourself
So you build a wall around yourself
An attempt to hide
Some effort at self-protection
And it costs you dearly.
When you build the wall,
You shut yourself in
And the rest of the world out.
You are not hurt
Because you no longer care
You do not fall
Because you're on the ground
You even manage to hide from yourself,
The biggest threat of all.
Your peers cannot mock you
Because you no longer care.
Hiding behind your protective wall
Never daring to step away from the security it offers
You block the world out
And yourself inside.
Are you interesting conversation?
Do you find yourself amusing?
In shutting the world out
You have only yourself left to rely on
But you never really wanted to rely on anyone else
Because they always let you down, didn't they?
So you justify the wall you built
You justify the fact that you turned your back
On the people who cared about you the most
Because they weren't always there.
You justify the fact that you ran away from life
Because you weren't strong enough to handle it.
You look back on all the chances you missed
All the things you could have done
All the people you could have met, places you might have been
And you think to yourself "What happened?"
The wall starts to crumble, piece by piece
As the sorrow wears you down
The pain of isolation from the human race
Consumes the foundations upon which the wall was built
But you're too busy worrying about hiding
To notice that you no longer want your protection.
The tears flow freely one night
As you think about all the wrongs committed against you
The tears that wash away the last of the dust
From the wall that once protected you.
Suddenly, you look at her, and you realize
How much you've always cared
The wash of emotion is so intense it hurts
And she sadly shakes her head and turns away
Walking out the door for the last time
Frustrated by the wall that she could not tear down.
You cry after her, finally seeing the truth
The wall didn't protect you from anything
It just hid yourself from you
All along, you've cared and hoped and fought
Blood and sweat sacrificed to keep the dream alive
And the carefully constructed wall keeping it from coming too close.
Watching the door close behind her,
You realize that the wall has collapsed
Your body is wracked with sobs at the mistake you've made.
The wall has been torn down, but it's too late
You already pushed her away, the one person who could heal you
And without the support of your wall, you don't know where to turn.
So what will you do now?
You were the person she cared about
But you weren't always there
And now you are another brick in her wall
As you realize the mistake she's about to make
You finally begin to see how stupid you've been
You pick up the phone to call her, but nobody's home.
The next day, you look out the window
And see her walking down the street with another man
She was strong enough to deal with life.
She had no need of a wall to protect her from you.
You see your last chance walking away in the sunset
And as night falls, you shed a final tear for your loss
Before you begin to rebuild your wall, brick by brick.
Soon, you no longer care.
The wall is once again in place,
Your only protection from the world you hate.
You've already forgotten that the only thing that the wall protects you from
Is yourself.