The Geli-Geli Effect

Got a pet peeve of your own? Email me and get it off your chest - and maybe onto this page.

First, my apologies to "TV newspeople" all over the world. But this stuff really is annoying. So here we go!

1. TV newspeople making a point of chatting and using each other's first names when on the air.
   
   
2. TV newspeople asking passers-by "What do you think of this incident" or "How do you feel about this incident" or "What do you think the repercussions will be upon the collective psyche in this community and how will it play out in the world economy, taking into account the most important current social factors ... wait a second, you are an expert in this field so that other people actually care what you say or feel ... aren't you? You random passer-by, you?"
   
   
3. TV newspeople taking five minutes to tell us they have no new information about a particular story.
   
   
4. TV newspeople "reporting live" from places where nothing visible is happening. "I'm reporting live from the zoo at 10 pm where earlier today a kangaroo displayed signs of claustrophobia."
   
   
5. Officials trying to find the longest words they know for insignificant words when talking to the press, and saying virtually nothing anyway. Example: "We're doing all we can - mobilizing our resources in every way possible - to try - ah, ensure that we catch - ah, apprehend the, uh, um, perpetrator." Or: "This matter radically affects - uh, impacts upon us all, and I will - I assure you I will spend some time emoting about it tonight."
   
   
6. Speed bumps that scrape my Honda no matter how slowly I drive over them.
   
   
7. Highly trained police officers being forced to enforce outdated speed limits instead of being allowed to take a bite out of crime. OK, OK, it's personal. And this doesn't apply to situations where speed limits really matter, like school zones. But when they're lying in wait (ah, officers lying ... now there's another issue) 10 yards before the speed limit increases ... what really is going on here, people? For those officers who dread this (usually) somewhat pointless duty, you have my sympathy.
   
   
8. When you take your car in for a state inspection, the mechanics always find that one of your lights "needed to be replaced." Far as you can tell, they all worked fine the night before. This happened to every car I've taken for inspection.
   
   
9. Why does the punctuation go inside the quotes? As in, "Something's wrong with this punctuation." Note the placement of the period. Or did I completely misunderstand the instructions in English class?
   
   
10. Mighty Mouse. I was one of those kids who always rooted for the cats, Lex Luthor, and Sylvester. (There's an interesting theological undertone here ... perhaps an insight into the Incarnation?)
    
    
11. The script of any host(s) of "America's Funniest Home Videos," it seems.
    
    
12. That insufferable cartoon in the Smithsonian purporting to explain the origins of life.
    
    
13. Junk science. (See: Smithsonian peeve.)
    
    
14. ...
    
    
15. ...

Here are some of your pet peeves:

1. Microsoft. (George Wells:gwells@toltbbs.com) He also votes for my #2, but scoffs (I think he was scoffing) at #10.
   
   
2. Banks that screw up your tuition payments so that all your classes are dropped.