Men get laid, but women get screwed. -- Quentin Crisp (English writer)

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.   -- Frederick Ryder

Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place. -- Billy Crystal.

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave? -- Beverly Mickins (American comedienne)

Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you. -- Mrs. Patrick Campbell (English actress)

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times. -- Sanskrit proverb

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." -- Jerry Seinfeld

We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation. -- Jane Wagner

March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion, out like a lamb. -- Anonymous

You know why God is a man? Because if God was a woman she would have made sperm taste like chocolate. -- Carrie Snow

Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last. -- Remy de Gourmant (French writer)

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses. -- H.L. Mencken (American writer, 1888-1956)

When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment. -- Warren Farrell (American Psychologist)

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. -- B. Johnson

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable? -- Carrie Snow