Synchrony

4/14/97
SYNCHRONY
"Synchrony - A Nothingness Review"
by C.Schmidt ®

DISCLAIMER: Reading these reviews has been known to cause uncontrollable snorting, mass hysteria, in laboratory mice... oops sorry people, and computer monitors to short out (although I think that has to do with someone spitting there drink of choice out at the monitor then these reviews). Reading this review can and will cause one to question one’s sanity or what is left of it. Um... Oh yeah this review has absolutely nothing to do with the x-files.. As this review is about absolutely nothing.

Opening Scene -
Some old man runs through the streets, and there is the ever-present clock. This old man bumps into 2 young graduate students, and tells one that he is going to die at exactly 11:46pm. Luckily for the 2 students a cop comes by and hauls the unruly elderly gentleman off to jail. As time passes we see more references to time, oh and a bus. Then there is a race with Jason, the young man told he wasn’t the one to have the appointment with Death, a bus, and time. Jason loses, the bus crushes is friend and the bus driver denies everything. Then we see a wrist watch....

Cue Opening Theme -
"Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time. Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines. Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way. The time is gone the song is over, thought I’d something more to say." Pink Floyd "Time"

Mulder and Scully are in the ever-familiar basement/x-files office, going over the latest case. Mulder gives the details and then informs Scully they are going to check this sucker out. Scully demands.....

SCULLY: Why!?

MULDER: Cause, I'm the head agent in this division and I say so?

SCULLY: Well I most certianly didn't vote for you.

MULDER: Scully this is not a democracy. This is the FBI.

SCULLY: Well then...As an agent in the FBI, I demand what all the other agents got!

MULDER: And what is that an equal pay check?

SCULLY: No, a desk!

As always Mulder drags her to a morgue. They grill the head morgue guy and he explains things, then tells them no autopsy has been performed. Scully, licks her lips in anticipation of an autopsy, but her hopes are crush when she finds out corpse will need to thaw before she is able to have at it.

Mulder goes to the jail house to pump Jason for info. They chat, then Scully calls. In the meantime, some guy at a hotel is dismayed to find out he does not have a room for the evening. Then a nice old man tells the roomless man "Hey no problem everything is cool, I have a room for you." And they go to the room the old man is referring to. The old guy chats with the former roomless man then sticks him with something and his hand starts to freeze.

Scully looks at the frozen guy and she explains some stuff to Mulder, then they leave to go question Jason’s babe.

LISA: Oh, you startled me!

MULDER: Sorry...You remember me?

LISA: Yeah, you're with the FBI.

SCULLY: I’m Agent Scully. I’d like you to look at something.

LISA: What?

SCULLY: Dunno, we were hoping you could tell us.

LISA: I don’t know what this is.

SCULLY: Don’t lie! I can tell you know what this is, so spill it! Either you can tell us now or in court. Don’t matter to me because either way we will find out. We have ways of making people talk!

LISA: Don’t try to bully me! I know my rights.

SCULLY: OK, fine you want to play hard ball eh? Mulder! Go into a Mulderism, and a real long one that makes no sense. After we wake her up, she’ll talk, for fear of having to listen to another Mulderism. And if that don’t work we’ll slap a court order on her butt!

MULDER: What Mulderism should I pick?

LISA: OK, OK, this is... well it is complicated to explain.

SCULLY: It's OK, we both went to college and I’m a doctor so I can usually handle pretty technical stuff. Don’t worry about Mulder I’ll explain it to him later.

LISA: Well, basically it's a freezing agent.

MULDER: Never heard of a freezing agent. I have heard of an FBI agent, a movie agent and agent orange but...

SCULLY: Mulder remember that old TV show "Batman?"

MULDER: Yeah, that was one of my favorite shows, didn’t care much for the movies especially the last one. The guy that played Batman in that one..Well he needed a bigger nose for that mask. But what does this have to do with that?

SCULLY: Nothing really, but remember the one bad guy Mr. Freeze?

MULDER: Yeah, so?

SCULLY: Well he was probably injected with this too.

MULDER: Are you saying that Mr. Freeze is behind all this?

SCULLY: Dunnno but he could be.

LISA: No, no, NO! You don’t get it! This freezing agent doesn’t exist yet.

SCULLY: Oh, really? And I thought we found the reason for Mr. Freeze and possibly a cure. There goes my Noble Peace Prize in Medicine.

MULDER: Hey what if the old man that has this freezing agent time traveled?

SCULLY: That is the stupidest thing I have heard you say to date! Time travel is impossible, that and Chris Carter said he would never write a time travel episode.

MULDER: Never say never, Scully. Didn’t you see the teaser for next week?

SCULLY: No not yet, I’ve been busy catching up on the latest quickie dime-store, trash, unauthorized, biographies on up and coming stars.

MULDER: Ahh, you were reading "The Anderson Files."

SCULLY: Yeah, and Mulder, save your 5 bucks. There is no sex stories in it. So what about the teaser for next week.

MULDER: Really nothing revealing in that book?

SCULLY: No! Now what about the teasers for next weeks episode.

MULDER: I thought there were supposed to be new never before unseen pictures.

SCULLY: No! All the same ones already on the net! Now Please what do you mean about next weeks episode!

MULDER: Damn! Guess this picture in US magazine will have to do until the next tell all book on that hot TV star, to come out. Do you know when that is?

SCULLY: NO! Now what about next weeks episode!

MULDER: Oh, we kiss.

SCULLY: No way!

MULDER: Yes way!

LISA: Excuse me, but aren’t you two supposed to be solving this case?

MULDER: We did, it was time travel, and some old guy time traveled and is now sticking people with this freezing agent of yours.

SCULLY:Mulder, time travel is impossible.

MULDER: No it’s not.

SCULLY: Yes it is!

MULDER: Then explain "Back to the Future."

SCULLY: That was a movie!

MULDER: Oh yeah... Well I remember reading somewhere... Now where was it? But it was a real report, that much I remember.

SCULLY: Show me the prove and maybe I will buy it.

MULDER: Um... I remember now! Scully remember that senior thesis you wrote?

SCULLY: The one on Einstein's Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation?

MULDER: Yep.

SCULLY: Um... well I didn’t exactly write that, I sort of was in my punk phase and busy attending rock concerts, getting nose rings, sleeping around and smoking so I paid someone else to write it. But what did it say?

MULDER: That time travel was possible.

SCULLY: Cool we are done, case solved and we are out of here.

LISA: Hey I just remembered something. You said there are 2 dead frozen people?

SCULLY: Yeah so? We know that it was this freezing agent and that the old man that stuck’em with it time traveled. So end of the X-File part and in come the local law enforcement officers to deal with the old guy. Mulder if we hurry, we can be on a plane back to DC in hour.

LISA: Well I think I know how to defrost the 2 frozen bodies.

SCULLY: Uh, huh.... Um... Why would we want to do that?

LISA: Well, I’d like to know how this freezing agent was created. Hey you said you were a doctor.

SCULLY: Yeah so?

LISA: Well come on lets go defrost these bodies.

SCULLY: Do we have to?

MULDER: Well Scully, if they don’t thaw out, you get to do some autopsies.

SCULLY: Cool I like doing those! Lets go.

Next there is this tub of yellow stuff and a lot of doctor types huddled over the once roomless but now frozen man.

SCULLY: This isn’t going to work!

MULDER: So, what do we care. Either way you get to do an autopsy.

SCULLY: Well that is the only good part about this. Then after I slice and dice him we are out of here.

They give the once roomless but now frozen man, an electrical shock and on the second try it appears to work. But then something goes wrong.

SCULLY: WOW! This really worked!

LISA: Yeah, see told ya!

MULDER: Um... girls, look at this. His temperature is going up. Look out Scully he is going to blow.

All watch as once roomless but now frozen man, now burns to a crisp.

SCULLY: Oh, this is great! We missed our flight now we have to wait for 3 hours for the next one and I don’t even get to do an autopsy.

LISA: I need to go talk to Jason.

SCULLY: Yeah you do that. I’m going to go finish that book, "The Anderson Files."

Lisa high tails it to the jail house. On the way, while ridding a bus she gets the feeling she is being followed. As it turns out the old guy was indeed following her. They chat and the old guy bolts. Later Lisa tells Mulder and Scully what happened and shows them the marks on her wrist and also tells of a medical instrument the old guy threatened her with....

SCULLY: He cornered you and threatened you with a tongue depressor?

LISA: I said I could tell I was scared and...

SCULLY: OK, look, we solved this way back right after the first commercial break. But then you said "Oh, I know how to thaw out the bodies." So we stuck around and missed our flight. Then you turned the once roomless but now frozen man into a burnt peice of motlen human parts and I didn’t even get to do the autopsy. Now just as we are about to board the plane you call and we miss our flight AGAIN! For what? To hear of an old man that followed you and threatened you with a tongue depressor. Look I am not amused and want answers. If you don’t start spilling the beans I’ll have you hauled over to jail faster than you can spell Tachyon.

Lisa tells all. A cop informs Mulder and Scully they found the old guy's room. Mulder and Scully make a bee-line there. They find a photo that really never was taken because "if your sister is your aunt and your mother marries your uncle then you'd be your own grandpa."

The old man, who we now know is really Jason, goes back to his room. A few minutes later Lisa drops in and they chat. Then the old Jason pricks her and she freezes.

Mulder springs the young Jason and then tells him that Lisa is a pop-cycle. Mulder goes into a Mulderism while driving the young Jason to the lab to see Lisa. When they get there the security guard informs them the old Jason is there, and Mulder tells the young Jason to warn Scully.

Scully using that brilliant mind of hers saves Lisa. Mulder talks to one of Jason’s mates and asks him to pull up the files on the rapid freezing thing. While the mate is hunting for the files, Scully calls and tells him stuff. Mulder asks where Jason is, Scully tells him, "not here." More bad news for Mulder, Jason’s files are gone. Mulder races around not sure where to go, but because it is getting close to the end of the show, we have faith he will find his way to the room where the old Jason is.

Meanwhile, the 2 Jason’s meet. They chat then fight. Mulder happens on them and is to late as the 2 Jason’s burn to a crisp. Scully talks to Lisa while she is loaded on to an ambulance headed for the hospital. She tells Lisa Jason is dead and the rest she has no clue how to explain. Mulder and Scully chat about what just happened. Scully doesn’t buy it. So Mulder recites Scully’s thesis back at her. Scully confesses to being 23 years-old when she wrote that load of crap and was young and naive.

Closing Scene -
Lisa makes a fast recovery and is back to work. Of course she had back up copies of Jason’s work, and is now in the process of discovering the secrets of time travel.

THE END