Cue Theme music
Everyone is still in shock so the usual Whoo’s and Scully’s!!! Are not present, as all X-Philes are left speechless with their jaws wide open....
Opening Scene -
Mulder walks into the hospital and finds Scully...
MULDER: Hey I brought ya something.
SCULLY: What a desk?
MULDER: Oh please don’t start with the desk thing, I explained there is no room and no money in our budget for a desk. See I was going to buy flowers for you but no money. I had to swipe these from a grave site. But here I brought you flowers, so now you can’t say "You don’t bring me flowers any more," and now I’m all squared away for Valentines Day too.
SCULLY: What no candy? But gee Mulder thanks for the flower’s, though I do prefer chocolates, you know the little round kind, um.. Milk duds, but I’m still touched. I mean I know the park we use as a grave yard site is way across town and you really must have had to have gone out of your way to steal these off someone ‘s grave site... Now if I only had a desk to put these on life would great. Oh and they are still real fresh flowers too.
MULDER: Yeah it as a fresh grave site, the hursts(sp?) had just drove away when I pulled up in the Taurus. So what is up Scully?
SCULLY: Well, remember a few years back when I was... um... abduc..no missing?
MULDER: Uh, huh... you were abducted by aliens, I remember.
SCULLY: NO! I was not abducted I was missing and aliens were not involved.
MULDER: Still in alien abduction denial huh? Tis ok the Drs. said that will pass in time, but I’ll let you live your fantasy.... So when you were Ahem, missing what?
SCULLY: Well, when I was missing, I think some bad things were done to me.
MULDER: Like....
SCULLY: Well this started a few weeks ago, like right after the Super Bowl. I got a nose bleed. At first I thought it was cause of that fight I had with Lenny in the back of that ambulance. I mean he knocked me around pretty good, before I zapped him with that defibrillator. But I have been having these nose bleeds a lot since then so I went to the Dr. To see what was up and...
MULDER: Yeah I know there is little blood spots all over MY desk. But did you have these bleeds before or after the tattoo?
SCULLY: Kind a hard to say... technically after. But remember Chris and FOX network switch the episodes around so depending on your point of view, after if you watched just the show. And before if you knew the correct order of the episodes...why?
MULDER: Well because I don’t think the nose bleeds are as you say. "I got this nose bleed from the abduc...missing time," Nor do I think they came from being knocked around by our headless cancer eating wonder, Lenny. I think it was that tattoo.... Its evil, they branded you Scully, you are now the property of Millennium, and it was also destruction of Government property. I say get the tattoo removed and these nose bleeds will go away.
SCULLY: Mulder, my new cool tattoo has nothing to do with the nose bleeds. And I am not branded! I like my tattoo and it stays... You hate it because it is the same symbol of your favorite show.
MULDER : I hate that show! This is all because of that damn desk ain’t it? You got that butt ugly tattoo because I won’t let you have a desk.
SCULLY: No! I got the tattoo because I liked it, and I think I might get another, on my ankle, and I’m getting a tad particle to turtles. But look I have something important to tell you about the nose bleeds...
MULDER: Well I still say it is that damn tattoo not when you were missing...You're just tying to lay a guilt trip on my because you were mixed up with the aliens while doing work for me. I still say it was the reckless behavior when you went on that date with Ed and got trashed then went to a sleazy tattoo parlor and hey that Russian could have been using a rusty needle to brand you, with that, still in my opinion, butt ugly tattoo. But hey who am I to know I ain’t no Dr. I’m FBI agent is all. So please continue what is the deal with the nose bleeds.
SCULLY: Well.... I have cancer.....
SKINNER: Nah... Get out of here. You don’t have cancer! You can’t. Oh my they might be writing you out of the show. See I told way back at the beginning of the season. Don’t ask for a raise! But no! You had to push it. Just like the push for the desk, and now you have cancer. Are you sure?
SCULLY: Yeah I’m sure. But I’m not getting written out! Think Sir! Chris is real good at dragging story lines out. I mean it was what over two years ago when I was missing. And we are now finally going to get answers! He could drag this out for another two years and then well my contract is up and I ain’t doing this show no more.
MULDER: Really??? Hey Skinner sir, does that mean I get a new partner ?
SKINNER: Mulder sit down and shut up. So Agent Scully, how much time till the cancers makes you crock.
SCULLY: Well in the real world... six months.
MULDER: Cool ... Um... I meant Not cool [Mulder thinks cool! I’ll be the star no sharing an office no sharing credit yes!] And in the show’s version of time what is the guesstamation on your life expectancy?
SCULLY: Um... roughly two to three years.
SKINNER: So what ya gonna to in the mean time Agent Scully?
SCULLY: Well I thought I’d do all the things I have always wanted to do before I die but I always thought I’d have more time.
SKINNER: Like what?
MULDER: Yeah, like what? I know get sex is at the top of that list, but what else is on this list?
SCULLY: Record an album.
MULDER: You can’t sing! You have a real whining sing voice remember... when we did the musical episode, and my favorite episode. You had no solos because you can’t sing.
SCULLY: Who said anything about singing? Its a techno dance thing you don’t sing in those!
SKINNER: So I guess you will be taking leave immediately to get treatment for the cancer and record this album then?
SCULLY: Um... no, I already did the album it comes out in April.
MULDER:Really??? When did you do that?
SCULLY: See I told you NOT to believe all those tabloids. I was not flocking in a romantic bliss with some British toyboy, I was recording my album.
SKINNER: Oh.... Then it was a just rumors then?
SCULLY: Of course! Gee.
SKINNER: Well good! And there for a bit I thought you didn’t come to my wedding because you didn’t care, but now I know the truth you were working. And I feel better. Please except my apologies for all the times I cursed your name. So what kind of cancer you got Agent Scully?
SCULLY: Apology excepted. And Brain cancer.
SKINNER: Yep I’d say six months is about right. Well if there is anything I can do just let me know...
SCULLY: Well I would like a desk...
SKINNER: Other than that, there is no money in the budget for a desk but there is lots for treatment for your cancer.
MULDER:Well me and Scully wanted to do some investigating sir, sort of like one big last hurrah.
SCULLY: Yeah that and well we got some leads from a past case that might help. And if that don’t pan out, well I think I’m gonna try some alternative forms of treatment. After all I am a medical doctor and know damn well there is no treatment for my form of cancer. So I thought I’d let some of those quacks get a whack before I succumb and end up calling Dr. Kavorkian.
Scully visits the one surviving woman and is so impressed with the treatment she is receiving, signs her self up for the same dose of radiation. Mulder leaves the Kurt guy alone to get Scully an over night bag and we find out Kurt is a clone... A dead green slimy mess of a clone now because a new mysterious someone cloned skewered Kurt.
Mean while back at the hospital, Scully wakes and speaks with her new miracle Dr. Who looks a lot like the guy yielding the clone skewer in the previous scene. They spew lots of medical terms till Mama Scully comes to be by her bedside. Then Mama Scully gives Dana a royal chewing out for not telling her about the abduction or the cancer until now. Then they make up and have a real heart wrenching "pass the tissues," type of scene.
Scully under goes her chemo and gives us a course in cancer 101. While Mulder breaks in some building to hack on the computer. Clone Kurt #2 shows up and helps him break past the security system on the computer. Scully has more flash backs and is still in alien abduction denial. Mulder visits Skinner....
SKINNER: So what’s up?
MULDER: Nothing Scully getting radiation treatment is all.
SKINNER: I take it you didn’t kind what you had hoped in your investigation?
MULDER: Not exactly sir. I found out that the government is covering stuff up again.
SKINNER: So what else is new? They always do that.
MULDER: Well this time they are the ones behind all the latest rumors being leaked to the press.
SKINNER: Really??? How so?
MULDER: On this file I found it said Scully was a patient at some fertility clinic, but I know for a fact that Scully was never there.
SKINNER: How so?
MULDER: Because Scully can’t get pregnant because she as never had sex!
SKINNER: Well yeah that is usually what gets a woman pregnant. But what is the point?
MULDER: I want these rumors to stop! I want you to arrange a meeting with me and CSM .
SKINNER: Now why you want to talk to him?
MULDER: Cause!
MULDER: Hey your a clone!
KURT CLONE#2: Uh, huh.
MULDER: Why didn’t you tell me? Come on if your a clone than you got that magic touch like that other on that saved my mama. So come on lets go see Scully so you can save her.
KC#2: Um... not so fast. Not the same type of clone.
MULDER: What do you mean not the same kind I thought you clones were all the same.
KC#2: Nope. But we are trying to help.
MULDER: So you have a cure then?
KC#2: No, not exactly. Look I have something to tell you. Come in here let me show you.
MULDER: This is just a room full of files. Where’s the cure.
KC#2: Well we haven’t figured that out yet. But the treatment mum is undergoing is not good for her. The Doctor she is seeing is really one of those bad clones.
MULDER: Huh?? And what do you mean about mum?
KC#2: All the woman that were abducted... Well they used their eggs to hatch us. And since your Scully was one of the ones that was taken she is mum.
MULDER: WOW! So she did do like I told her when we had that little chat about kids in Mayberry..oops Home. She made an Uber Scully. Does she know she has kids?
KC#2: Um.. no we haven’t told mum yet. See usually the mum’s don’t make it. Because when they take the eggs they, being those train driving Japanese, leave the mums with brain cancer.
MULDER: Why?
KC#2: Dunno, it is a by-product of the egg extraction. But we Kurt Clones have a soft stop for mum and want to save her. The first thing though is you must have her stop treatment from that bad clone. Can you do that?
MULDER: Well I’ll try but your mum is a stubborn one. Then what?
KC#2: Dunno we haven’t figured that part out yet. But getting her a desk couldn’t hurt and a pay raise. After all she does have a lot of mouths to feed now. The best thing would be to find that one clone the healing one, but he disappeared and won’t come back for a few more episodes or even till the end of the show and possibly has long as till the movie comes out.
MULDER: So for right now make Scully stop treatment is that right?
KC#2: Uh, huh. And see if Chris Carter will hurry up and write Smith back into an arc episode or the movie.
MULDER:Well I didn’t see his name on the script for the movie, but I did see the guy that plays Frank Black’s name in there... Ah man! Chris better not be doing what I think he is going to be doing.
KC#2: Why? What’s that?
MULDER: Man I just had a scary thought. He is going to tie all this crap in with Millennium. That’s why he branded Scully with that tattoo.
KC#2: Mum has a tattoo?
MULDER: Yeah and a real ugly one at that. Look I better go. I get the feeling that I’m being followed.
KC#2: OK, you take care and give mum all my best.
MULDER: She dead now?
SCULLY: Uh, Huh.
MULDER: Sorry. Hey but I got some news for you.
SCULLY: Yeah good news I hope. I mean I got your message and I stopped the Chemo. And I’m glad I did too. The damn treatment was making my hair fall out. And it made me look crappy! How the hell I’m I going to win an Emmy with no hair and lots of freckles.
MULDER: Hey that’s how all the woman win for best dramatic actress. They get cancer, make everyone cry and then in September we hear."And the winner for Best Actress in a Dramatic series is.." and of course you got cancer so this September it will be , "and the winner is Gillian Anderson." And I better get another kiss and please don’t forget to thank me this time.
SCULLY: Ya think it will work out like that?
MULDER: Yep! Ok, let me tell ya what I found out.
SCULLY: OK.
MULDER: Your a mum!
SCULLY: No I’m not! I ain’t never had sex so how could I be a mum?
MULDER: Long story and I’ll explain later. So what ya gonna do when ya leave this hospital, go on a vacation?
SCULLY: Nah... we got work to do. I want answers.
MULDER: Well the truth is still out there.
SCULLY: Nope the truth is in me!
MULDER: You sure?
SCULLY: Yep, trust me.
MULDER: I trust no one.
SCULLY: Don’t deny it. You trust me.
MULDER: Nope and I deny everything. Besides it doesn’t matter because everything dies.
SCULLY: Yeah and the government also denies knowledge.
MULDER: Yeah?
SCULLY: Uh, Huh Deceive, Inveigle, Obfuscate. That is the name of the game.
MULDER: You believe! Finally you believe.
SCULLY: Well I think it’s the chemo Mulder it’s making me act and say strange things...I mean look I’m smiling even and I never do that!
Closing Scene --
The phone rings in Skinners office....
SKINNER: What!
MULDER: Um... what are you doing in its 5am?
SKINNER: None of your damn business!
MULDER: Anyway I called to tell you Scully will be back to work she decided to hold off on treatment. And that you were right about waiting before contacting CSM. Thanks! We have to find out what he knows but there has to be another way.
SKINNER: And yes there are always other ways.[Skinner hangs the phone up]
CSM: So I take it my boy’s little woman is doing better?
SKINNER: It would appear so.
CSM: And there are always other ways... just matters on how much you are willing to pay.
SKINNER: What the hell have I done? I made a deal with the devil is what I did! And man does Scully owe me bigtime!
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