Meet Tom!
…a 43-year old, special needs child with a face only a mother could love. Or so we thought until recently when Tom’s biological mother hurriedly sold the family homestead, packed and moved at a frenzied pace and left no forwarding phone number or address.
Now this older special child sits hour after hour dialing his Mom’s old number and listening to “We’re sorry but this number is no longer in service or has been disconnected. Please check your number and try again.” So he does, he checks the number, he tries again, he listens to the message, then checks the number and tries again, etc.
So now we’re searching for a special lady, or close facsimile thereof, to love this very extra special older manchild. Sight and hearing impairment is a plus, a big plus!
Hobbies/Special Interests:
1. Hooting & hollering at females
- Stalking
- Spitting
- Pretending to be an engineer
- Timing others on bathroom visits
- Looking busy
- Giving tax advice
- Farting without staining his underpants
- Long walks (usually while looking for his mother’s new home)
Turn-offs:
- Steak
Other
People
Mexicans- Failing at #8 above
You loved him in the Austin Power’s movies.
Now won’t you love him in your home!
Additional Information: Does not get along well with other children, has been known to taunt and call names, i.e. “monkey-boy”, “retard”, and often threatens to “donkey-punch” people.
May qualify for special tax deductions and financial assistance from the state and federal government.
All serious offers will be considered. Extra consideration shall be given to homes
in remote areas of the
