07-28-07 1:03:10 A.M. Okay, this isn't really a rant. This is more of heartfelt post. I need to get some things off of my chest. I could rant about my shitty fucking job, but I'm not in the mood for that right now. I feel this is the best place to say this since no one will read it, but there is still that very off chance that someone will. Enough babbling. I still care deeply for Morgan. I always will. I pray and wish for her to feel the same about me. I know she cares about me, but we're just friends. That's how it'll always be. But it really hurts that I can't be with her. What hurts more is that I'm pretty sure she likes Lance more than me. At the same time, I think I'm forming feelings for someone else (she shall remain nameless for the time being, you know, to protect the innocent type of thing). I've known her for a while now, but I kept telling myself I can't have feelings for her, and I didn't. We were friends, and we still are, and I doubt she'll ever have those feelings for me...but I realized today that she's a girl I can tell anything to. I've told her things I've never told anyone else, and there are few things that I just hide from people. I'm a very open person. What does this mean? Why am I so comfortable telling her things that I can't tell other people? I'm thoroughly confused right now. I really think I need to go talk to a professional again. It really helped talking to a counselor when Cynthia (fucking bitch) first broke up with me. I think that would help tremendously right now. I don't know. I've wasted enough time. I need to get some rest since I have work tomorrow. Though it sha'n't all be bad. David is supposedly coming into town, and Meredith might come watch a movie with me. Whatever, I'm going to bed. Later, fuckers.
02-07-07 2:25:58 A.M. I'm seriously tired of fucking trying. No matter how hard I work, or how far I actually make it, I never actually succeed. I'm fucking tired. I really like M*****. I really do. I thought I had a chance. Boy was I fucking mistaken. I was happy. I was happy for a month. I thought things were going my way for a goddamn change. My life is never going to change. I'm going to be depressed and alone forever. I really should just fucking kill myself. It's not as if anyone would really miss me. I talk to two or three people on a regular basis, and that mainly online. If I just stopped talking to them, they could just as well assume that I'm no long getting online. They'd just forget about me and go about their happy fucking lives. Though, I am proud of myself for not crying in over a month. I've been fighting off tears all day, but I think I'm going to make it. Oh yeah, and tomorrow is my 21st birthday. Big fucking whoop. My life is still going to be the same. I wonder how many people actually know/care that tomorrow is my birthday. Maybe I'll just go out and drink myself to death. That could work. But I know I don't have the balls to do that. I don't have the balls to do anything but post fucking anonymous rants. Rants that no one actually reads. To think, I actually started this day somewhat happy. I was really happy. Then life decided to run me over with a semi. Thanks life. Thanks a fuck load. I really appreciate it. Who knows, maybe M***** really does like me. Yeah, and maybe I'll grow an extra leg out of my ass tonight. I give up. I'm going to bed.
12-25-06 9:48:01 P.M. I know no one really reads this, but I feel I can vent more here than on my other blogs. I really feel like shit at the moment. First, a little back story. I'm usually not happy. I'm usually alone. I'm usually ignored. Around Thanksgiving I started talking to a kick ass girl, and to my surprise, she talked back. We kind of hit it off, which was great. I really like her, and I think she likes me. We hung out Tuesday and had a great time. Well, we're both pretty shy in person, so most of our conversations are online. Since we're on our Christmas break, she's at home on dial-up, so I understand it's a little more difficult for her to get online and talk to me, but I think she's ignoring me. She hasn't even been on in the last 3 or 4 days, which is really unusual. I know she can get on because her twin sister gets online (she's online right now). I just don't understand. Like I said, I really like her. She makes me happy like few people have before. I want this to work out, but I'm worried she doesn't really feel the same. I keep trying to tell myself that she cares, but deep down I can't help but feel that she just wants to be friends...and it's even worse now that she won't even get online to talk to me. Gah! I just want to fucking run away. Why is life so goddamn complicated? I'm tired of this life. Can someone please help me? Maybe someone can buy me a bullet and lend me a gun. That'd be great. Well, I'm tired of typing this, and I'm sure you're tired of reading this. I'm going to go back to Myspace and continue to refresh my homepage in hopes of receiving a new message from her.
09-20-06 1:13:07 A.M. I haven't posted a rant in a damn long time. I have some shit I want to get off of my chest, and I figured this would be the best place since very few people every visit this site. I am so damn confused with females. There's on in particular I can't figure out, and it's driving me insane. I'm not going to say any names, even though you people would never know about whom I was speaking. Anyway, I've had a huge crush on her for quite a while now. I know it's going nowhere, mainly because she has a boyfriend. We're still good friends though. She knows I like her. I have no idea how she feels about me. I should mention her relationship with her boyfriend is a rocky one. A very rocky one. Anyway, I get mixed signals from her. What the hell? I hate it. One day she'll say something that might hint at she likes me. Yay for me! The next day, she won't speak to me. Fuck. I really feel like just giving up on love entirely. Well, at least giving up the hunt. If love wants to come knocking at my door, by all means, I'll let it. But fuck looking for it. I know I'm invisible to the human race, so how am I supposed to find someone? Fuck it...but at the same time, I can't stop thinking about her. I just wish I could tell her I love her. I doubt that would do any good. It'd probably just ruin our friendship, and then I'd be left with even less. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I like the word fuck, if you haven't noticed. I really need something to occupy my brain. If I weren't wired I'd just go to bed. Well, I've rambled more than enough, and I'm sure you're tired of reading this crap, so I'll just leave. Bye.
03-30-06 2:34:51 P.M. Today has not been a great day. I hate days like this. Everything has gone wrong in some way, shape, or fashion. It started with less than 4 hours of sleep. I could have remedied that by skipping class, but I figured we were getting our tests back, and that I shouldn't miss that. I was wrong. We had a sub. I could have gotten at least 2 hours right there. Well, I didn't think I should miss music appreciation either. Wrong again. We watched a movie. I could have just stayed in bed all day. Well, like normal, I felt like shit at lunch, so I get some Chick-fil-a and go to my room. The food wasn't bad, so I guess that's been one good thing today. However, just as I'm finishing my food, the Internet goes out in our dorm. Apparently they felt the need to start working on the cables in the middle of the fucking day for no good reason. Fuckers. Oh well. I figured this would be a good time to play some Final Fantasy. Wrong again. After hastling around with cables and shit to get my Playstation hooked up, I put FFIX in, start to load my game, and BOOM, corrupted file. I'm thinking, "What the fuck?" It was working just fine this weekend. I try loading another save file. Corrupted. I put in FFVII. All corrupted. The entire memory card is fucked. There's over 100 hours on the card that are completely wasted now. That fucking pissed me off. But I kept calm. I'm pretty sure I have a back up of that card. The problem is I can't get to that back up without a disc that I currently don't have. I tore the room apart in search of it. It's nowhere to be found. That's about the time I decide it's time to get out before I break something. So I headed over to the computer lab. At least here I can get online...and do abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Today has sucked major cow testicles thus far. I'm hoping it's going to get better. If not, I just might have to shoot someone. I have nothing else to rant about at the moment. So you can go back to you meaningless life now.
02-08-06 2:35:40 P.M. Today is my birthday. I'm 20 years old. Yay! Whatever. I'm in a bad mood. I'm pissed. I just want to punch something/someone. Fuck the world. The world doesn't want me to be happy. I hate the world. I want it to die. I know I shouldn't feel this way. People actually said Happy Birthday to me. Most of them I pretty much told to, but there were two that told me unprovoked. Thank you Cynthia and Derek. I love you too. Everyone else that still said it, thanks to you too. Everyone else, whatever. I'm fucking tired. I want to go to sleep. I can't though. I have homework to fucking do. Fuck that. I'm not motivated enough to do anything. Whatever. Anyway, I'm about to go. Sorry for the short rant, but I want to get off of here before I say something I'll probably regret later. But before I go, there is one last thing I want to say, and it's probably going to piss some people off, but I don't really care right now. FUCK PEOPLE THAT SMOKE! I hope you all die. Seriously. You hurt yourself. You hurt others. You hurt the environment. I'm not seeing an upside here. Fucking quit or die. I'm out.
01-24-06 2:37:00 P.M. anyway, whats going on with everything? everyone?? It seems as if the new year has not been my year so far..I want to be changed and be better and be a new me, however that doesnt seem to be working, I believe it is but noone else will give me a chance and see this....well some of you know her...sarah, yeah the one I like...wow, just wow...she says Ive changed...but I am not the only one thats changed, and if shed only give me one chance, shed see that..I just cant believe, a few months...a couple of shows compared to how long Ive known her has changed things between us...now my friend just broke up with his girlfriend and I was talking to him...it was his idea to try and help me since I was here for him, he messaged sarah, I told him just what would happen, shed think I sent him..all I told him was sure do whatever if he thinks he can help me...anyway she tells him its all of her fault and all of this, being the cause of how I feel, she says she would never leave her boyfriend for me..lol WOW, but she admitted also that yeah she did like me and see well that just means if she liked me, well yeah I was just that toy off to the side she could play with or something, I wasnt going to be the other guy....butshe lead me on and fucked meo ver so much...I was so pissed off and upset and hurt by this, anything she says to me...its all different...she wants to go out with me...so I ask her out...wow she doesnt want to go out...whats that?? the kisses and shit like that, she wanted that, once again, I wasnt about to be that other guy...anyway yeah....she acts as if NOTHING goes on when she talks to me...UGH I fucking hate her now...wow yeah I mean it this time...yeah I hate her..I hate that bullshit...hmm anyway yeah other then that.......I was told about working for someone and was told 2 days that id hear about that, well its been 2-3 weeks now and heard NOTHING...and it seems EVERYTIME I come up to tennessee some part of my body gets hurt...thisi s the 2nd time ive been up here and my left arm/shoulder began to hurt..anyway I HATE THIS YEAR, THIS ISNT MY YEAR, EVERYTHING/EVERYONE CAN FUCK OFF AND YEAH,"BITE ME!!"
-AJ's rant from MySpace
01-20-06 5:14:20 P.M. Well, life sucks again. Cynthia broke up with me. I doubt any of you really care, but I'm telling you anyway. I'm still really confused about it all, but what can I do? She doesn't love me any more. It almost seems like she hates me. Maybe I'm better off without her though. I guess we'll see. I just hope I can find someone again in the future. I haven't exactly had the best of luck in relationships. Oh well. You people don't care...all two of you. I'm gonna shutup now. Maybe I'll update one day in the future. Or maybe not. Who cares. Bye.
11-07-05 7:42:46 P.M. It's been a while. This quarter is almost over. Yay! I can't wait. I have my classes for next quarter. Math. Physics. Computer Science. Psychology. Yeah, I doubt you care, but there they are. Let's see. This Friday is Cynthia and mine's two-year anniversary. Yay! What else. I think I'm going to have straight A's again...*knocks on wood*. I guess we'll see. And by we, I pretty much mean me. Once again, I doubt you care. You probably just stumbled across this God awful site, and you're wishing that you could hit that back button just a little bit faster. Come to think of it, how did you come across my site? Please, tell me. I'm eager to hear from my fans. And by fans, I mean random people that don't know who I am. Well, I'll stop rambling. Aren't you glad? Good. Well, bye.
05-18-05 1:27:20 P.M. Well, school's almost out. I have one more test tomorrow, then I'm out for the summer. I can't wait. It's been long, but it's been great. I realized today that this isn't much a rant page anymore. That sucks. That pisses me off. I think I'll rant about it...okay, it's a ranting page again. Anyway, I'm just sitting here bored off of my ass, so I figured I'd just update this damned page. Good idea, right?... Yeah, I didn't think so either. Oh well. I'm sure at least one person will read this, right? If someone does read this, they need help. Oh well. Hmm. Well. Yeah. I guess I'll shutup now and let you go on with your apparently boring life. Peace out my homies...sorry.
I was just reading some of my old posts, and I say the same things over and over. Wow, I suck. I need to learn new phrases. Yeah. Umm. Fo shizzle my nizzle.
05-09-05 1:28:53 P.M. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "Why do you people keep coming here?" It still confuses me. This site is so plain and boring...and geeky too. I write D&D programs in JavaScript. Come on. Can it get any geekier? I doubt it. Oh well. As long as you're here, have a look around. All the links should be at the bottom of the page. If you are here about the D&D pages, I'm still working on the weapon generator. I know, I'm slow and lazy. I have two weeks of school left, so after that I'll have plenty of free time to work on it and others. Until then, fuck off...sorry.
04-12-05 7:13:41 P.M. Hey, I'm actually updating sooner than 3 months. Shock! Anyway, I didn't fail my math test. Some how I made a 91. Go me! I feel good considering the class aver was a 56.8. Man, they're stupid...maybe not, it's just a hard class. Oh yeah, I don't know if any of you live near Louisiana, or if you will see this before Friday, but if you can, you should go to The American Tragedy concert. Go to their website. Learn who they are. Worship them. Okay, don't go that far, but do check them out. Well, I'm out. Peace out homie.
04-06-05 1:09:05 P.M. Yeah, it's been a while. I don't even know why I'm updating right now. Is anyone reading this? I ask that a lot. If you are reading this, you need help. I update about 3 times every 2 years. Do the math. That's not very often. Oh yeah, if you're still reading this, seek help. Anyway, I'm sitting in the computer lab right now, waiting for class to start. It starts at 2. I have a while. I'm bored. Let's see. I've had two tests today. My calculus test fucked me royally. I'm pissed. I left class and figured out how to do the problems. Oh well. I think I aced my chemistry test, so it isn't all bad. Next class I have a quiz on a book I read...a really weird book. Everyone should read it. It's entitled Looking Backward: 2000-1887. Go get it now. Read it. You'll get much more out of it than you will reading this crap...oh yeah, if anyone is here because of D&D stuff, I have some new generators that I'm working on. The next one will be a random weapon generator. It's basically the tables out of the DMG. I'm going to do the other tables in the back of the DMG after I am finished with the weapon generator. Well, I've wasted plenty of time, even though I still have about 45 minutes to waste. I guess I'll shut up and let you go on with your business...loser.
09-22-04 4:19:23 P.M. Wow! It's actually been a year since I last updated my site. Thanks for telling me Tim. Well, I don't really have much to put on here. Um, I'm in college now. I'm going to Louisiana Tech University in Ruston and majoring in Mathematics and Computer Science. I've been going out with Cynthia for close to a year now. Um, what else can I put on here? I just finished eating some old pizza. Um, (pi^4 + pi^5)^(1/6) = e...I'm a geek. Laters.
09-25-03 9:45:33 P.M. Well, I just thought it was time for an update. I've had like 10 hits in the last month. That's a record. Well, maybe a loser record. Oh well. I guess I'll put this up since I've already shown it to the rest of the world. I made some crap for D&D if you'd like to check it out. There's not too much to say really. Schools going. Homecoming is next week. Who cares? I hate my school, and most of the people there wouldn't give a damn if I weren't there. Anyway, I guess I'm out for now. If you're actually reading this, GET A LIFE!!!
08-23-03 10:11:33 P.M. I took down the About Me page. Hell, like anyone cares to know about me. I'm just a nothing nameless loser. Oh well. Fuck the world. I don't need you. Why the fuck am I still making this page? How many people actually read this shit? I know about 3 people a month look at the pictures, but who really give a flying rat's ass about this? No one. That's who. Oh well. I'm out. Don't have a clue when I might update again.
07-30-03 12:14:28 A.M. Wow, people actually come to this site. I realize I have updated in a looong time. Well I added some new pictures. Anyway, I don't really have too awful much to rant about. My brother moved back in. He's a pain in the ass. School's starting in a few weeks. I'm not too pissed about that, especially since I'm a senior this year. Wow, I've run out of things to say. Oh yeah, I changed my email address if anyone wants to write a rant, and I've added an "About Me" page. Anyway, that's about it.
01-04-03 10:47:11 P.M. From now on this page is my rant to the world. Call it a blog if you want, but it's not going to be much more than my angry rants to this world. I'm pissed, and I'm going to let you know. Why am I pissed? I just am. 'Nuff said. This world has pissed me off for the last time. This is my first rant, and you'd better well love it because this is just the start. This is just to whet your appetite. Learn to enjoy this shit. I don't have much more to bitch about right now, but be sure that there will be more rantings in the near future. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Hell, tell the dog. Also, I'd love to hear your rantings. If you'd like to get something off your chest, just write me, and I just might post it. I hope you've enjoyed your wasted time here. Now fuck off.
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