Today's episode: DAVEY'S SECRET this one deals with the issues! Dave: Hey Gary? Gary: Yeah dude? Dave: Can I tell you a secret? Gary: Of course man. Dave: Well, it's kind of about you. Gary: Is it about how I'm awesome and throw touchdown passes? Dave: Heh, well, sort of. Cept that ain't no secret. Gary: you ain't jokin bro. They don't call me cannon arm Gary for nothing. Dave: They sure don't. Gary: Did I tell you about the sweet cannon tat that I'm gonna get on my bicep. Like, right here? Dave: Naw, you didn't. I thought you were gonna get some tribal shit done there. What up wit dat? Gary: Oh I'm still totally gonna get the tribal stuff done, or maybe some barbed wire. It'll be sweet cause it'll look like I'm wearing barbed wire but I won't be, it'll just be a tat. not that I wouldn't wear bared wire on my arm. Dave: I totally know that you would. I think I might get some Chinese symbols or something. Ya know, like the ones on my car. Gary: Your car is bitchin'. It'd look killer with a dragon runnin down the side of it. Just like, roaring or spitting fire. Man, your car would go fast as hell then. Dave: Damn Gary, you know a lot of shit about what makes shit cool. Gary: No joke. But uh, you said you had some secret or something? Dave: Oh yeah, uh... man, it's totally hard to say though. Gary: It's cool dog, we're bro's. Just like say it. Dave: I'm gay for you dude. Gary: .... Dave: .... Gary: What do you mean? Dave: I mean like, well... Sometimes when I like, ya know, polish the silver, or like masturbate or whatever, I think about that time me and you wrestled around on my bed when we were six. Gary: Haw yeah. That was sweet dude. I totally pinned your ass! Dave: Yeah, that was maybe my favorite part. I kinda let you pin me cause I was a totally gay six year old. Gary: No shit? Dave: No shit. Gary: Well, it's cool man, just don't be all up on my junk. Dave: Can I still give you handjobs? Gary: Of course man, of course. Secrets: Boy: So, umm... I had a really nice time tonight. Girl: Me too... Boy: Yeah...uhh... I was thinking... what would you think about me and you... ya know... going steady? Girl: Sure, whatever. Boy: Oh... Girl: What? Boy: I just thought...well, you know. That you'd be a little more excited. Girl: I'm sorry. It's just that I'm cramping hella bad. Boy: What? Girl: You know, cause I'm ragging. You know. Boy: I'm not sure that I do... Girl: I'm puttin some salsa on the taco. Come on dude. YOU know! Boy: Are you talking about... Girl: I'm talking about the painting down town red. Boy: Do you mean... having your... Girl: I'm talking about the fish market having a sale on ketchup. Boy:.................. Girl: I'm talking about the clam getting a bloody nose. Boy:.................. Girl: I'm talking about my uteran lining coming out of my vagina. Boy: OH! OHHHH!!! Girl: tee hee. Boy: I wanna go down on you so bad. I just thought up a new joke. This one is probably the best one yet. Dang I'm funny. N.Armstrong: Hey, remember when I walked on the moon? Kid: No, not really. NA: Seriously? Man, that's pretty dumb. Kid: Well, I mean... I guess I've heard of you doing that, But I'm too young to really 'remember'. NA: Oh I dig. Anyway, that was pretty sweet huh? Kid: It was cool I guess. NA: Cool you guess? Are you fucking serious? Kid: Woah woah, calm down space ace. I'm just saying, people do tons of stuff like that all the time now. I'm sure it was a big deal then... but whatever. NA: Whatever?!?! One giant leap kid! ONE GIANT LEAP! Kid: Oh it was you that said that? I thought it was that honey comb thing. You know "Me want Honey Comb! ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND!" NA: The Honey Comb thing doesn't even say that! You are really fucking stupid. I oughta beat your ass, lunar style. Kid: Seriously gramps, I'm like 7 years old. NA: Yeah well, how old do you think I was when I walked on the moon? Kid: I don't know, a hundred maybe. NA: I was 4 years old punk! FOUR! Kid: That's a lie. You are a liar. NA: Liar Schmiar pants on fire. Kid: I... what? NA: Moon speak, you wouldn't get it. Kid: There's no such thing as moon speak. NA: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know that you'd been to the moon. OH WAIT! You haven't! I'm cooler than you! Kid: How do you say 'boobie' in moon speak then? NA: Shmoobie. Kid: That's just doing that thing that little kids do when they think something isn't important. NA: Shmaybe. Shmore Shmaybe Shmits Shmoon Shmeak. Kid: I don't think my mom would like me hanging out with you... NA: Speaking of your mom, I took her to the moon... LAST NIGHT! Kid: Good one Neil. Good one. STAY TUNED FOR THE STUNNING CONCLUSION OF!!!! MOON MAN AND EARTH BOY!!!! WTF!!!?