Home Poems Quotes Lists Pics Stories Email Me

.:|[News]|:.

11.18.03 Ok, I am going to try to keep this damned website updated more than once a year, due to the fact that if it is not updated, nobody (including myself) will ever go to it, thus removing the point of a website. Through some careful research and late-night sleeping, I have determined that this website could be known as a "blog" or "web log". As I made this site well before such things were popular (or, to my knowledge, even existed), I hereby claim that I am not part of this growing fad. The end... So now comes the question of what to write. Well, I do believe in God now, so that whole long thing about not believing in God a couple of posts down is really more of good reading than anything else. Umm... Yep, that's it. I'll try to figure out stuff to write later, however I am currently tired/hungry, and thus, I must remedy these problems with food and sleep. Possibly even a good movie! Hey, maybe I'll make a cool movie page... Why not! 7.28.03 Here is my new, improved website! This is where information like stuff/things would be... -03.26.01- I was just thinking... I do not believe in God. The main reason for this is because too many bad things happen to too many people. That kind of does it for me. I do not believe in any supreme creator. I do not believe that things exist. So what is the purpose of my life? Why am I here? Even if I don’t exist, I still experience this thing we call “life”. I have no choice. So why not kill myself? Well, I believe that when one dies, there is nothing. No afterlife, no heaven, no hell, no rebirth. Most people can not perceive nothingness. My best example of which is nights that I don’t dream (most nights for me). I go to sleep, the next second I wake up. But hours have passed between those two moments. The time between when you go to sleep and you wake up is nothingness. Death is eternal nothingness. Anyway, back to my suicide notion. Well, as far as I see it, I have no choice but to die at one time or another. It is going to happen. There is no reason to fear it. So, then the purpose of life can not be nothing, because that is death, not life. By definition, there must be a purpose. So what is it? Obviously, most everybody on earth has a different answer to this question. The main reason to live is to experience life. Some people say that life is a game. I kind of agree, because if someone thinks their life sucks, it’s usually because they suck at life. So, being good at life is a reason to live. Because of the nonexistence of things, the acquisition of things is pointless, because they don’t exist anyway. The only reason some people do this is because they get confused and believe that more stuff or more money will make them happier. I say, the more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to worry about, and the more expensive the next thing you want to buy is. It’s a vicious cycle. Work for money to buy things to make you happy enough at home to go to work the next day. The more stuff/money, the more “successful” you are. Bullshit. Back to the purpose for living. Since there are no things, the only real part of life is feelings. Now, most people enjoy being happy, and do whatever they can to be happy. Some people believe that getting hurt or feeling sad makes them happy. I think these people just got hurt so much that they figured it would be nice to like being hurt, because everybody likes to be happy. Many people, as I said before, buy things to make them happy. This doesn’t work. Society tells people that having a “successful” job with a lot of money, a wife, a big house, and lots of other expensive shit is what makes someone happy, and this is what one should strive for their whole life. Things don’t exist, but feelings do. Therefore, I believe the only purpose for living is to be happy. If something doesn’t make you happy, don’t fucking do it. Why would you? Go to school, get good grades to go to college to go get a job for money to buy stuff. Fuck that. I don’t need stuff. I want to be happy. The essentials (food, shelter, relationships) are all I need. Everything else is just to make life simpler. This computer, for instance. I don’t need it to convey what I have to say. I could talk to someone or write it down on paper or use a typewriter, but the computer makes it easier. But I could live without it. If my house got robbed, I would be mad, mostly because whoever stole it feels things are more important than people. That’s pitiful. That’s just wrong. If other people do exist, they’re just as fucked as me, so I may as well try to help them be happy. But sacrificing my happiness for theirs is something I SHOULD NOT DO. I do it very often. I go for “not truly unhappy” versus “truly happy”. If I’m not truly unhappy, then it’s ok for me to do whatever other people want me to do, because it makes them happy. I go between believing people do exist and they don’t exist rather often. The main reason I try to make other people happy is because it makes me happy to see other people happy. Why? I don’t know. Because they’re successful? Because it shows me that it is possible to be happy? I don’t know. I just want to be happy. And I am not happy with my life right now. I suck at life. I wonder how I can get better at it? That is, after all, the only reason I’m “alive”. -01.12.01- Today, the site concept was... conceptualised. So far, only the main, poems, and list pages are up (mostly, because those are the only pages I have had time to create). Hopefully, more will be added within a few days, as I have a very, shall we say, "selective" social life. Hmmm, I guess I could tell you about myself... My name is Steve. I like Websites. That's about it. You may live off of that until more is added. You lucky monkey, you. -01.19.01- I added the stories section. Go there or something. Poop. -02.03.01- COMING SOON!: I am going to put up a new "interesting things" page relatively soon. I was just looking around online and ended up with about 12 pages open and 10 new links in my "favorites" folder. I have determined that the internet DOES contain useful, relevant, interesting information! One just has to know where to look... Where to look will be my "interesting things" section :). Check back soon! P.S. I would put it up now, but it's 1:14 AM, and I'm tired.