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This is Fred. It is a frog. Or a toad. We're not quite sure yet. But don't let your eyes
fool you. This is no ordinary frog/toad. This is no mere carefree, sexless, Brazillian
rainforest-inhabiting amphibian. Fred happens to be God to millions (um, two actually). My deity.
The subject of tireless worship (well...). And I am here to spread the almighty word of Fred to the
less fortunate, the unenlightened.First however, I feel that some light must be shed on the origins of Fredliness. An agnostic (or perhaps an atheist...he was never really sure) young lad a very long time ago was confronted by christian believers and forced into an argument about faith and the existance of God. The actual content of the conversation is irrelevent, but the result was the creation of a religion sure to take the world by storm!
Now, you may be wondering: why should I choose to believe in this God over say Jehova, Allah, Budha (who wasn't actually a God but moreover a chap who liked sitting under trees thinking instead of working...my kinda guy) or whoever? What possible benefits could this change in faith bring? Well, lets do a quick comparison.
Fred exists. You can actually go off to Brazil and spend a little time in the rainforest (whats
left of it) and find Him/Her. How many other religions can offer that? Hmm...what else? As
opposed to other religious beliefs, followers of Fred have never been killed, tortured, starved,
savaged or subjected to other forms of unpleasantness as a result of their belief. There is no
church of Fred. That means faith is all you need to have. Unlike other Gods, Fred is not
interested in how many people believe in him or how much money greedy little capitalists in white
robes can make off of other peoples faith. Theres no such thing as heaven and hell...just death and
whatever you happen to think will happen, or not, afterwards. Religious ceremony is not
mandatory, and if it happens allows for no animal sacrifices, which is pretty reasonable. After
all, why should a Brazilian frog/toad be interested in a dead goat?
These are just some of the aspects of becoming a follower of Fred. And the best part of it is
you can become a follower right now. Go ahead. Start believing. Theres no start-up fee, and
since eternal damnation is no longer an option, you can live your life according to YOUR set of
moral standards and not those of some vague book. So get up and start believing! March forth and
spread the word! Fred Lives And Hes Looking For YOU!
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