|
|
|
|
A.K.A. Handy Smurf. Born to consume the foamiest of the Brews...He is known for his "out-of-control" ways of drinking. The creator of the Double Barrel Potato Cannon. His favorite phrase, "If you ain't down with the BrewCrew I got two words for ya...Drink Up." Should anyone dare challenge this Bud-Jedi to a drinking contest, you had best have someone nearby to dial 9-1-1...He loves to spend an evening at homey with the foamy. With pizza, football, lunch or a munch, the Brew is the clue. A burp and a piss; There ain't nothin' like this. This certified member of the Beer Drinkers' Association is loud and proud.
A.K.A. Iceman. This member of the BrewCrew is known for laying the smack down on the candy-asses who attempt to equal his consumption levels of mass quantities of alcohol. His goal is to drink until he can no longer remember his name. This gives him an excuse for not remembering the names of the unimportant masses who try to interrupt his drinking time. Famous for using phrases like "I'm not drunk, you're just too stupid to understand" and "Life is too important to be taken seriously."
A.K.A. D-Bo. The Grandmaster of the BrewCrew. Worldwide reputation for consuming vast amounts of alcohol. I found some young Jedi-Drinkers in search of one that will instruct them in the Art of Alcoholism. They had skills, but they could go no further. I took them under my tutelage. They have progessed well under me. Soon I will retire. My legacy will remain. My students will carry the legacy of the Wu-Tang. I will always be with them. If they find themselves in need, they know that they only have to call my name and speak the quote. For the ignorant people of the world, the quote is: "Physical stregnth is no substitution for perception. For perception is the key which unlocks the untold powers of the spirit."
A.K.A. Big Country. The true Rebel of the Crew. Hailing from West (by God) Virginia, he knows his beers and often recognized for his catchy phrases such as: "I may not be good lookin', but at least I put out." and "It was pandelerium, I thought we all may be killt or even worse." When the beer goes on sale you might as well get out of the way cause my ass is comin' through. A true NASCAR, Pittsburg Steeler, beer swillin', Atlanta Braves cheerin (okay so I can't stay in one state), son of the South. As my omen I would like to leave to you a nickles worth of free advice. Watch monday night raw and when all else fails consider yourself lucky you are not Ira.
A word to everyone in this crazy world. It doesn't matter how out of control you get when you party, there is no excuse for Drinking and Driving. So please do yourself and everyone else a favor and find a designated driver. Be responsible and think of your life and the lives of others you will save. Party hard and be safe.
