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Long Island, New York

Letterman's Top Ten "Signs You're at a Bad Beach"

10. Everyones competing for the same few feet of space among the rotting whale carcasses.
9. Guy with metal detector keeps finding 55-gallon drums of medical waste.
8. Its exactly like the first half hour of Saving Private Ryan.
7. Raft full of Cubans land, look around, paddle back out to sea.
6. David Hasselhoff gives you mouth-to-mouth and your not drowning.
5. Sign for restrooms points to ocean.
4. Its called Stinky Beach.
3. Your kids give up on seashells start collecting used Band-Aids.
2. Beach is full of guys like that naked fat guy on Survivor.
1. Its bring-your-own-sand.
Friday, July 28 broadcast of the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
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