As you will see, I only write when I am pissed off or hurt.
I hope you can tolerate and maybe even enjoy what you read below. Please feel free to post a note on my message board or email me at: jodiharmon@excite.com.
Thanks for taking the time...
BooBoo and Princess!
Over and over again.
Reflections of lost loves lead only to hate.
Through years of sorrow and pain,
Too many to recount,
I've built a nice little comfortable home
In which only I can live.
Protecting myself from the ghosts that haunt me;
They so often return as I sleep.
I've tried to lose my luggage,
Believing that new can also mean different.
After 29 years of abandonment and abuse
I finally thought...hoped...prayed...
But alas, my heart becomes again
A deformed VooDoo doll
Without legs to run.
I believe in love. I try. I know I do.
That's never been the problem.
The quandary is how to demand it back.
Not even the love, but respect.
Through grown and independent.
Fine, but miserable on my own,
I am but a child.
That same child that hid in dirty clothes.
Hiding from rage.
Bidding for my life.
Fear of losing it all in the concequence of a moment.
I thought I'd finally come to believe in and trust
That the horror of old would remain
Eaten by worms.
But, the sparkle in my eye has dimmed.
My hope tarnished.
My trust shaken.
And I feel myself slipping back
Into the warm pool of comfort and familiarity.
With but a mouthful of depravity
My hollow shell of want and acceptance is cracked.
And there is nothing left inside but the deviant lure
Of it happening all over again.
If I bleed for you, do you run?
If I speak to you, can you save?
Big breasts strike as you walk on by.
Her face seeks purpose beyond its requirement.
Fortune illusive.
Not greenback, but payback.
Circling in a world of answers, without question.
It seems farce to try on perfection.
That mask only wears by the day.
Knowing brings demand.
Demand, a lack of rememberance
Of times much tougher than these.
Those things for sale are stolen, yet,
Free wiles are thrown out for ease of purchase.
Her full hips lack lust fingerprints.
Big breasts invisible up close.
Her face hides all that she lacks.
She smiles when told.
Your touch is dead flowers.
A vision, not clear.
Your face, a blur.
Are you but a wish of delusion?
A sprinkle of insanity in my head?
Of stealing the breath of you within.
Longing evenings of hopeful trust
Sent crashing to the floor
For nothing more interesting than IT in your face.
You've seen it before.
Scores of times.
Do women ever respect themselves?
For some reason though,
With me in view, but not in your heart
You saw Strange as the only way to go.
Forget Loyalty.
Forget Honor.
Forget Dignity.
Forget Divinity.
Forget that you spoke first of love and want.
Throw it all to Hell and what do you have?
The same fucking nightmare I've always seen...
Revived beautifully in you.
It is not just me about whom you should worry.
I'm hurt and won't get over.
But you...
You are the Defect.
You are the Jellyfish.
You are the Traitor.
Not only to me,
But to yourself and the man you wish you were. Ha!
Lies spin off your tongue as truths.
Truths of a moment.
But when temptation kisses your abdomen,
You lick it right back.
I hope it was good.
to appease
or be cool.
I will not stop
seeing betrayal
with stupid excuse.
I have sat by and watched
my worlds decay
cowarded by fear.
I have stripped myself,
exposing my exhausted body of empathy
to be the good little girl.
I have been this weakness.
Each sincere thought leads only to death.
I won't, again, for you.
HE IS LOSING ME.
HE IS OBLIVIOUS.
ROSE COLORED LENSES WRAP TIGHT AROUND HIM.
HE IS BLIND.
I NO LONGER AM.
HE SEES THROUGH ME.
A GHOST IN THE NIGHT.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE MET WITH AMBIVILANCE.
WORSE YET,
SELF-PITY.
HE IS LOSING ME.
THOUGH HE'D NEVER GUESS.
I AM CONSTANT.
HE IS SECURE.
HE IS IN FOR A SURPRISE.
HE HOLDS ON LOOSELY.
IF AT ALL.
AND DOES NOT SEE ME SLIP AWAY.
HE IS LOSING ME.
THAT IS FACT.
NO LONGER WILL I WALK TEN PACES BEHIND
ON PIERCING EGGSHELLS.
KILLING WHAT HAS TAKEN SO LONG TO BUILD.
Rape me as I sleep
And walk me through my day.
Their closeness,
My weariness,
Combine to make the
Simple smile that lays upon my face.
seep like baking cookies.
A lost laugh rings faintly
in my ear.
Your vision in my doorway
now fades with the light.
Putrid secretions of lost love
tickle my flesh
and dance upon my sheets.
Evil chants
and furtive glances
surround my sweaty loins
as
images of
her face
scream
razors
in
my
head
you whispered in my ear.
Words of decadence
from a tortured tongue.
If ever a thought escaped
your tempting mouth
it was of
irreverent deeds and
unholy acts...
...but you whispered...
your breath
tickling my flesh
and dancing in my mind.
How I long to rid
my senses of you.
Banished to
Hell
or
Heaven
or anywhere
but my ear.
my eyes close--
not often,
but for you.
They close
and dream
and smile
and guess.
They see shadows of black
upon the wall
as silouettes of you
lick my mind.
Behind my eyes you lurk
and ease away my ails.
I sit
or stand
or lean
just to feel you
in the room.
I lose myself in your
peace for sale.
But I just wanted them here and that is the only reason I can give.
Happiness. The bend of your smile.
Happiness. The silk of your voice.
Happiness. The beat of your heart.
Happiness. Me loving you.
Peace.
Freedom.
Comfort.
Safety.
You loving me back.
Feel free to click on the picture to the left if you want to see what growing up in the 70's and 80's can do to a person's taste in fashion!!!!
He is simply amazing if you are looking to escape to a paradise on earth.
Click on the picture to the left to check out more of his magnificent work.
