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KJT'S
PARTS ROOM
I KNOW I had one here in
stock,
I just can't find it...
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The Life Of A Partsman
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I work behind the counter of a locked up partsroom door.
Sometimes I' m called a genius, Sometimes I'm called much more!
I'm just a simple Partsman, but when the job goes sick
the mechanics come to me and ask; "What makes this damn thing
tick?"
I'm supposed to know the numbers, of tubes and bolts and gears,
on every product that's been made for more than 60 years!
Mind reader and Mechanic and a Labourer as well,
I'm supposed to be an Edison, plus Alexander Bell!
But life would be a pleasure, I'd grin from ear to ear;
If the mechanic would just tell me;
The model, make and year!
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Mechanical Philosophy
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
-- Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
-- Anthony's Law of the Workshop
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Ehrlich
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
-- Lowery's Law
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be
solved by brute strength and ignorance.
-- William's Law
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
-- Eric's Law of Retroaction
Vehicle Operator Condition Reports (CRY
Sheets)
From Our Mechanical Workshop:
Crysheet: "Left front tire almost needs
replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left front tire."
Crysheet: "Cruise control will not maintain speed."
Solution: "Cruise control not installed in this vehicle."
Crysheet: "Right rear wheel seal seeping oil."
Solution: "Seepage normal."
2nd Crysheet: "Left rear wheel seal lacks normal seepage."
Crysheet: "Something loose in dashboard."
Solution: "Something tightened in dashboard."
Crysheet: "Evidence of oil leak on transmission."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
Crysheet: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."
Crysheet: "Friction lock causes hand throttle to stick."
Solution: "That's what it's there for."
Crysheet: "Engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found under hood after brief search."
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Some Things I Have Learned Here At The Shop
-Accomplishing the impossible only means the boss will add it
to your regular duties.
-Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
-Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their
sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all!
-If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me!
-Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
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