Over the years the TV commentary of F1 racing has taken the English language to new depths of grammar, diction and lucidity. Nowhere else can be found such fine examples of non-sequiturs, meaningless phrases, profound inanities, and frankly, statements of the bleedin' obvious. Yet Walker, Brundle and Co take on their task with such enthusiasm and, well, such wheelspin we can only admire and enjoy their craft.

Amidst the general drivel we do hear some genuine insights into the cars, drivers, teams etc and even descriptions of great racing moments, assuming ITV isn't showing ads at the time. Can we ever forgive the failure (at the time) to hear Murray describing Damon passing Schumacher at Hungary '97? Fortunately it was recorded hillhung.wav and you can now relive the experience!

Some dedicated souls have meticulously written down famous quotes Murray's Muck-ups, but to fully experience the flow and texture of the verbal diarrhoea it is necessary to hear it. How else could we gauge, for example, Murray's delivery of "AB-----SO----LUTELY FURIOUS " when anticipating the reaction of Alesi's mechanics to his failure to tank up, (Furious) , or hear how he changes gear before firing off 5 "ands" in a row! (And......and)

So click left for some of the best bites of blither from the '97 and '98 seasons (sampled in mono at 11 kHz and 8 bit to save space). Apologies in advance for the inclusion of some awfully contrived F1 anagrams in this season's comments!

Please feel free to send me your own examples! mailto:fortune@lloyd-hughes.clara.net

VISIT http://www.casema.net/~martijn/