9am: just off the Caledonian Road in Holloway, London.Surprisingly nice street with quite nice houses. The busy'Calley' Road is full of interestd workmen looking out of their smoky huts in anticipation. But Titanic star Kate Winslet's not home. Instead I meet... (After ringing on the bell for five minutes the Milkman gives up and drinks the milk. But then a workman gesticulates wildly. She's there...)
 

*Punch (guiltily):                  Hello, I'm the Punch Milkman bringing
                                              you happiness and good cheer
                                             and a pint of milk!

*Kate Winslet lookalike     What's that? What are you doing here?
(wearing a leather jacket
and not much else):
 

*Punch:                                  Well, you've won our reader's poll of the woman in Britian
                                                most men would like to snog.  And women
.

*Lookalike (flicking back
her hair):                                 Really? That's really weird; I just heard the bell go and I
                                                thought I'd come out and see who it was. But I'm not Kate.
                                                I'm Beth, Kate's sister. Kate's not in....
 

  *Punch:                                (feeling stupid): Er; well I was going to ask whether you
                                               planned to appear on stage in London?

*Beth (testily):                      What? Well, I can't really answer on behalf of my sister, can
                                               I?

*Punch:                                  What about her feet? They say she has Titanic toes?

*Beth:                                     Who are you? I think I'm going to go back in now. I don't
                                                really understand what's going on. 

*Punch:                                   I don't suppose you're famous enough for me to ask you a
                                                 few questions?

*Beth (laughing):                   Kate's not here, I'm afraid. There's no point talking to me. I'm
                                                not Kate!

*Punch:                                   I  know. I'm sure I recognise you though. Haven't you been
                                                on the telly or something?
 

*Beth (shivering):                  I'm going in now. It's really cold out here. Bye!

*Punch:                                  Bye bye.