housed.wav (94K)
"We're gettin' housed here guys. I think it's time to send in Blotter. Blotter, Yeah."

marv.wav (42K)
"Marvelous...woo!"

2bongs.wav (184K)
"Wait a second, this guy is Gutter, man. He comes over and smokes two major bong loads man."

noexhale.wav (97K)
"I didn't exhale. Works for me. Good answer."

buttliks.wav (27K)
"Hey Buttlicks!"

ribeye.wav (111K)
"Chuch, Porterhouse, Ribeye, I know exactly how you guys are feeling. In fact, I can think of only one thing that could lift my spirits at a time like this...Beer.

beer.wav (62K)
Beer Chant

thebeer.wav (58K)
"Oh shit, the beer, oh shit!"

go2sleep.wav (156K)
"Go to sleep!! It's time to go to sleep!! -YELLS- Total Nightmare."

nakedguy.wav (71K)
"I can't believe the naked guy showed! Naked Guy! Excellent Butt."



physed.wav (205K)
Droz handing out papers

outside.wav (69K)
"Outside!!" CRASH

cigout.wav (41K)
"Please put out that cigarette right now! Ah, no."

pampers.wav (231K)
"Can you blow me where the Pampers is? Can you blow me where the Pampers is? CAN YOU SHOW ME WHERE THE CAM-PUS IS?? Yeah sure."

gameyell.wav (46K)
Random shouts from IM Ultimate Frisbee between Jerrytown and Womynists.

heyho.wav (42K)
chant: "This penis party's got to go. HEY HEY, HO HO!" Short Version

got to go.wav (171k)
chant: "This penis party's go to go!" Long Version

inthere.wav (94k)
"Hi, is Sam in there. . . Cock Man Oppressor!"

mayflower.wav (143k)
"Mayflower material?"

milkbones.wav(78k)
"Spring break I filled his suitcases with milkbones"

need.wav (55k)
"Whaddya need?"

openup.wav (194k)
"Open up, suck-o!"

pc.wav (132k)
"It's a whole new ballgame, and they call it PC"

pokey.wav (104k)
"What the hell was that - Mr. Pokey?"

tree.wav (131k)
"I just heard that tree shriek!"

tunes.wav (86k)
"Plug my ass in!"

violator.wav (35k)
"Stop the violator!"

waco.wav (106k)
"We could go Waco on them!"

band.wav (70k)
"Don't be that guy"

bee.wav (106k)
"That weasel snagged the bee!"

bye.wav (36k)
"Thanks for the party, oppressors!"

conspiracy.wav (110k)
"This, my friend, is a white devil's conspiracy"

dacron.wav (48k)
"Ooh! Pretty outfit! What is that, dacron?"

frats.wav (33k)
"Gee, Scooter, frats were banned in the 60's"

person.wav (151k)
Band plays "Hail to the Chief".

pins.wav (86k)
"Ahh! Pins and needles!"

advice.wav (141k)
"Want some advice? Well, yeah. Well, here's all you need to know. Classes, nothing before 11. Beer, its your best friend, you drink a lot of it. Women, you're a freshman, so its pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car? Uh, no. Someone on your hall will...find them and make friends with them on the first day."

bring.wav (298k)
What's up babes? Pack up your rape culture and take a hike! You want a brewdog? We're not interested in your penis! Wait, wait, I think he's offering us a beer. Um...yes...we...would...like...a...beer. Okayl! Hey! Gimme a beer! Gimme a beer! It's like, if you're nice to them, they bring you things? Exactly."

closing.wav (126k)
"I CAN STOP WATCHING TV!!!"

coffee.wav (50k)
"Coffee. Coffee NOW!"

fresh.wav (60k)
"You went out with a white male? I was a freshman! Fresh-PERSON! Please!"

just1hit.wav (66k)
"Just one hit, then I gotta go"

meat.wav (175k)
"You dumped 100 pounds of meat on a peaceful vegan protest! Oh come on, that was way more than 100lbs."

thesis.wav (221k)
"PIGMAN!! What's he doing? He's finishing his senior thesis. Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV! That's his thesis? Yes! That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy! You can major in GameBoy if you know how to bullshit!"

times.wav (73k)
"Times have changed in the past 30 years, To-mas. We no longer swill sherrys and screw goats for fun anymore."

speech.wav (576k)
Rand's Speech

womynists.wav (232k)
"Those aren't women; those are womynists"

swirlee.wav (70K)
"Swirleeeeee....WOO!"

laid.wav (477K)
"Now, it's true....the majority of students today are so cravenly P.C. that they wouldn't know a good time if it were sitting on their face, BUT, there is one thing that will always unite us and them! They're young! They may not realize it yet! They've got the same raging hormones, the same self-destructive desire to get boldly trashed and wildly out of control! Look out that window! That's not a protest! That is a cry for help! They're begging us! Please have a party! Feed us drinks! GET US LAID! AAAAAAAAH!! That's a pretty strange theory, Droz."

atthepit.wav (100K)
"Hey Droz, what do you think about this-- Tonight at The Pit, Everyone Gets Laid! Hmm...that's tasteless, disgusting and offensive. I like it."

justice.wav (122K)
"I'm a black man! There is no justice for me here in America! I should be at the front of the line! Yeah, well, I'm gay and subject to ridicule and discrimination wherever I go. Women are oppressed throughout the world, give it a rest!

redmeat.wav (161k)
"What don't we eat? Red meat! Why don't we eat it? It's murder! What don't we eat? Red meat! Why don't we eat it? These, Tom, are your Causeheads. They find a world threatening issue and stick with it...for about a week."