HAPPY GILMORE SOUNDS

Backfire.wav (51 KB) "Talk about your all time backfires."

Ballhole.wav (35 KB) "You're confusing me, just let me put the ball in the hole."

Barker.wav (185 KB) Bob Barker making fun of Happy.

Beatit.wav (111 KB) "Please don't go."
"I'm not spending the rest of my life with a loser, I'm gone."
"GOOD then get out of my life who needs you, beat it, leave me alone."

Beatup.wav (20 KB) "Oh I just need to beat the living piss out of him."

Bikers.wav (80 KB) "This man is destroying golf, I saw two big fat naked bikers in the woods off 17, having sex. How am I supposed to chip with that going on Doug?"

Bleep.wav (120 KB) Happy yelling at the ball.

Bottle.wav (69 KB) "Oh, I was just looking for the other half of this bottle, there's some right there..."

Bringon.wav (10 KB) "Bring it on."

Btson.wav (26 KB) Happy at the batting cage.

Bulldance.wav (46 KB) "Doin' the bull dance, feelin the flow, workin it."

Check.wav (102 KB) "Hey, where's my check?"
"We'll be mailing them out next week sir."
"Oh no no I want mine now."
"I don't have any checks to give."
"Well that guy got one right? Give me one of those big ones I don't care."

Clothes.wav (42 KB) "If I saw myself in clothes like that I'd have to kick my own ass."

Clubs.wav (64 KB) "Where ya going with those clubs punk?"
"Mr. Gilmore I'm your caddie."

Comeup.wav (124 KB) Happy and his girlfriend on the speaker.

Deadgirl.wav (38 KB) "Hey my girlfriends dead ya know, she fell off a cliff and died on impact"

Dip.wav (18 KB) Happy making fun of his caddie.

Dontdate.wav (42 KB) "I don't date golfers."
"Oh that's good, cause I'm a hockey player"

Eagle.wav (57 KB) "Happy with a long eagle opportunity. ITS GOOD"

Eatsh.wav (93 KB) "I eat pieces of $h*t like you for breakfast."
"You eat pieces of $h*t for breakfast?"
"No!"

Endless.wav (69 KB) "I thought we were gonna be just friends."
"Friends listen to 'Endless Love' in the dark."

Energy.wav (220 KB) "Harness in the good energy...Block the bad...etc."

Eyesout.wav (137 KB) "Hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake. Alligator just popped up, cut me down in my prime. He got me, but I tore one of his eyes out."

Faceit.wav (32 KB) "Face it Happy you are a golfer."

Fingers.wav (263 KB) "I got good news we're extending arts & crafts time by four hours today."

Fixac.wav (101 KB) Happy trying to fix grandma's air conditioner.

Fool.wav (19 KB) "Your acting like a damn fool."

Getout.wav (37 KB) "GET ME OUTTA HERE!!"

Giveitup.wav (167 KB) "That son-of-a-bitch. Give me my ball. GIVE IT HERE! Cough it up you dirty bastard, I swear to god I'll rip it outta ya....(etc)"

Handmade.wav (30 KB) "This is some handmade stuff here."

Hugeass.wav (64 KB) "Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant, probably a great golfer-- huge ass."

Imhappy.wav (17 KB) "I'm Happy Gilmore, What's up"

Jacket.wav (30 KB) "Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a #%$@"

Justmet.wav (50 KB) "Yeah just as friends...slow down I don't wanna be more than friends...I just met you."

Justplay.wav (15 KB) "Lets just play some golf."

Lilnoise.wav (125 KB) "Make a little noise here, huh...COME ON I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!"

Lobster.wav (48 KB) "I'll be at the Red Lobster in case you change your mind Shooter...God bless!"

Lotion.wav (98 KB) "You're gonna need a blanket and suntan lotion...Cause your never gonna get off that beach...Just the way you never got into the NHL...Jack Ass!"

Lovethat.wav (116 KB) "OH YEAH!! You gotta love that...You like that baby?? Plenty more where that came from."

Luck.wav (52 KB) "Well some might call it luck, I'd like to call it. Well, luck, I guess, so what?"

Moonme.wav (83 KB) "You know what was great today, one of his fans mooned me-- had Happy written on his ass. H-A on the one cheek and, sure enough, P-P-Y right there on the other."

Mrlarson.wav (123 KB) "Hey thanks a lot Mr. Larson, its good to see you again. Hows that ahhh, thing feeling?"
"Oh terrific, the nail comes out next week."
"Well you can hardly even notice it."

Mypuck.wav (58 KB) "That's my puck baby. Don't you ever touch my puck!"

Oldlady.wav (82 KB) "But she's an old lady, I mean look at her. She's old, you can't just take her stuff. She's too old!" Classic

Oneshot.wav (44 KB) "That was so much easier than putting. I should just try to get the ball in on one shot every time."

Place.wav (27 KB) "Your own happy place."

Playgolf.wav (32 KB) "Hey, I'm a hockey player, but I'm playing golf today."

Pricebob.wav (23 KB) "The price is wrong bitch!" Classic

Putt.wav (63 KB) "Happy learned how to putt, Uh-oh!"

Reachit.wav (137 KB) "Trying to reach the green from here Shooter?"
"That's not possible sir."
"I beg to differ, Happy gilmore acomplished that feat no more than an hour ago."
"Well moron, good for Happy Gilmorrr--OH MY GOD!"

Sayhay.wav (127 KB) "Just stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say."
"How about I just go eat some hay. I can make things out of clay, and lay by the bay. I just may, what do ya say?"

Seeyou.wav (25 KB) "Yeah all right, I'll see you guys there!"

Sendhome.wav (183 KB) "Send him home happy... the ball belongs in his home....etc."

Shesdead.wav (54 KB) "How's that nice girlfriend of yours?" "Oh she got hit by a car, she's dead!"

Taparoo.wav (66 KB) "Tap it in, just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap tap taparoo."

Therake.wav (131 KB) "Well what is this I hear about you braking a rake and throwing it into the woods?"
"What? I didn't break it. I was just testing its durablity, and than I placed it in the woods, because its made of wood, and I just thought he should be with his family."

Theysuck.wav (61 KB) "You know what, you're a lousy kindergarden teacher. I have seen those finger paintings you bring home, and they suck!"

ToGood.wav (112 KB) "Why didn't you just go home? Thats your home! Are you to good for your home? ANSWER ME!"

Toity.wav (19 KB) "Toitys straight down to the right dear."

Warmmilk.wav (87 KB) "Sir, ummm, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps put me to sleep."
"You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!"

Whacker.wav (75 KB) "Step right up folks. See if you can out drive the amazing golf ball wacker guy."

Yourball.wav (13 KB) "Is this your ball?"