Okay, so you got these four alien looking thingies fresh out of Britain.  They're aimed at children less than one year old, yet they scare the beejesus out of me and I'm 19.  We've got (and forgive me for any spelling errors) Tinky winky (the big ambiguously gay one-he carries around that pocket book), Dipsy (The culturally correct African American one-way to go guys!), La-La (The little toddler girlie one), and Po (The baby girl tubby-and agreeably the darndest cutest thing).  They run around in a perfect utopian society obeying the mysterious voice of a phone that pops out of the ground, and the Sun God whose face is that of a blue eyed baby.  So where do they come from?  Here's my theory:

Ya see, it's like "The Truman Show"...the sun isn't real.  It's a concealed film studio!  There is a team of producers and filmers inside making sure that the utopian society in which the Teletubbies live remains safe and secluded.  That mysterious voice in the phones is really the head director of the show!  So who is the head director?  Why it's Barney, that big, lovable purple dinosaur!  See, Barney crossed breeded imaginary dinosaurs such as Baby Bop with television sets to create a superior race of super soldiers.  As of now, the Teletubbies are infants.  When they become adults (After feeding on their vitamins which are known as "Tubby custard" or "Tubby toast") they're not very cute anymore.  They become big, vicous monsters who feed on muppets.  Why muppets?  That's the reason Barney created these Tele-soldiers!  To take on the cast of Sesame Street in Armageddon!
So when you see the teletubbies watching real children on their chest TV's, it's just Barney transmitting images of the enemy onto them to brainwash them into hating people and society.  Oh, and their mentor is that vaccuum cleaner thingie...uh...Ru-ru was him name.  Yeah, that's the ticket.
So watch out.  The teletubbies are out there.  Revelation is unstoppable.  Children's Televion World War is on the way!!!

Teletubbies were created by Barney to kill and destroy!

But wait!  There's more!!!
There were originally six Teletubbies.  The other two were known as Fiddle-Diddle (He was orange in color and Asian), and Jo (Po's older brother-white in fur color.)  These two Teletubbies grew fast and discovered that they were being used.  They fled their utopian society many years ago via aircraft.  However, due to miscalculations, the ship crashed in Roswell New Mexico and the Teletubbies died.  Our government denies this incident, but I've got pictures!!!
     
So as you can see, Barney is not such a friendly, lovable dinosaur afterall.  It's just an act, folks.  He's insane.  And when the teletubbies grow up, they'll be some mighty dangerous warriors.

Funny Links:
Barney has done some other crazy things you may not know about. To read about them, Click HERE!
Also, those teletubbies have some evil twins out there to get them.  Click Here to see the TELEBUBBIES!!!
 

 (Disclaimer: I Love the teletubbies, and the teletubbies love me.)
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