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A place where we can vent about our most hated characters on today's show...
11/15/2002 Today's episode had to be one of the most ridiculous to date...
first of all, how the hell did Lexie escape so fast??? second, how did Bo "kill" her so fast??? WHY was NONE of this shown??? did i walk out of the room??? one second Lexie is in her hospital bed, the next second she is in the stairwell... one second Bo catches Lexie and her two goons on the roof, the next second Bo is breaking her neck after having debilitated all three...
i hate Shawn-Douglas... what a worthless character... why the hell does he think his inner struggles are more important than everyone else's??? he should have at least TRIED to be strong for his family's sake... instead he is "angrily" reciting another one of his "profound" speeches (you know the ones that make him look and sound like a complete moron?) to some reporters... that had to be the worst acting ever... Abe's "NOOOOOO!" and Bo's teeth clenching were a close second and third respectively...
BTW how did Bo get rid of those gigantic sweat stains so quickly???
07/30/2002 Marlena was completely ridiculous today... she lets Tony into her house for ONE MINUTE (which turned into almost the whole show), b*tches him out, freaks out about touching a stupid chess piece, runs for her smelling salts as soon as he fakes a coma (wouldn't a doctor be able to tell if he was faking?), and then John comes in and she's all over him... "oh John! (gasp) i needed you!"... and what is up with the X-Files music in all the Days commercials this week??? is Marlena really an alien???
and while we're on the topic of aliens... OH MY GOD it's a KEY!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! at least we know how to get rid of them now...
07/18/2002 The results are in... the most annoying teen with 28% of the vote is... JAN SPEARS!!! i'm so glad she's gone... Belle Black came in second with 17%... thanks to everyone who participated...
new poll question: would you rather have Jan Spears back or the aliens???
07/17/2002 ALIENS??? ALIENS?!? ALIENS!?! ALIENS!!! there are actually aliens running around (literally) on Days of Our Lives... i thought the Garden of Eden's low ratings would give the people at Days a clue... come to think of it, they still haven't recovered from that era of crappy writing... i thought Alice Horton walking along a beach with a wind sock on her head was the most ridiculous thing i've ever seen on Days... no wait, that's still more ridiculous than the aliens, but the aliens are a very close second wearing nothing but silver bubble wrap bathing suits and green glow in the dark bracelets... what are these new writers smoking??? more importantly, who the heck threw an entire untouched cantaloupe into a garbage can in the middle of the park??? that almost seemed more odd to me than the aliens running around... no wait, i think i've been watching too much Days of Our Lives... but seriously, those kids/aliens were running around all day half-naked and NO ONE in the entire city noticed them (with the exception of Julie and Maggie) or found them the least bit suspicious enough to report them to the police??? aliens: go back to your home planet!!! and take Craprice with you!!!
speaking of crap, what's up with Marlena and John lately??? besides his usual random transformations into random personas and professions, John has been acting even more ridiculous than usual... seems like all he does nowadays is walk around with that stupid LEGO key, squinting one eye, and tilting his head to one side (to read the cue cards?)... meanwhile, Marlena has practically been in permanent deer in the headlights mode since Tony returned... these two really need lobotamies more now than ever before... except on their honeymoon - that had to be the absolute worst J&M have ever been... maybe we'll get lucky and the aliens will abduct them, become exremely annoyed with them, and then dump them somewhere in the middle of outer space never to be seen again... problem solved...
05/20/2002 Okay... today's rant is about CAPRICE!!! you had to know this was coming from the picture on my front page... i despise Caprice...
some questions i would like answered:
who is this woman???
is she the spawn of Satan and Miss Cleo???
where is Chelsea (the real nanny who raised Belle and Brady)???
why did she come all the way to America just to bake cookies???
why does her "Haitian" accent change EVERY DAMN DAY???
why does she pause between each syllable she speaks???
why is she always tilting her head???
why did this woman audition for a role on a soap without taking any acting lessons???
why did Days hire someone with less acting talent than my cat???
seriously, after Caprice's farce of a performance today, i'm convinced my cat could do a better job playing Caprice... GO BACK TO HAITI, CAPRICE!!!
as for Marlena... if hiring an illegal alien for a nanny wasn't bad enough, her behaviour today certainly was... she was just so sickeningly sweet today with that stupid grin plastered on her face, kissing Brady's a$$... what was that all about??? GO BACK TO H_LL, SNARLENA!!!
03/27/2002 Today in a "secret" medieval church (which looked exactly like Princess Gina's castle from the outside), John and Marlena renewed their vows... HOW TOUCHING... she was wearing a CROWN... need i say more???
03/09/2002 Okay this whole Jan/Shawn thing is RIDICULOUS... why is it that Shawn would rather lie to EVERYONE he loves than break a promise to JAN??? why doesn't he just say "Belle, mom, dad, don't tell Jan i told you this, but i'm only pretending to be the baby's father so she won't have an abortion"... problem solved... Belle, Bo, and Hope keep quiet around Jan... no one gets hurt... but no, Days needs an obstacle for Belle and Shawn so Shawn has to be turned into the dumbest person in the entire world... i really don't care if they break up, but this is too RIDICULOUS...
along with the fact that the actor who plays Brandon was supposed to leave the show, but Days decided to give him that storyline with Jennifer so he'd stay... hopefully it will only be for two more years... i've been waiting for Days to get rid of him since he joined the show...
meanwhile... Sami and Lucas are still fighting... i don't even remember why Sami hates him... oh yeah, framing her for murder... no wait, that was Kate... ummm... hitting Will??? no... she lied about that... wait, now i remember... it was when he drove drunk with Will in the car... LIKE A MILLION YEARS AGO... get over it, Sami!!!
02/07/2002 I saw Chloe today and needed to vent... every time the show starts with her and Brady, i always think i'm seeing a repeat... is it just me or is every Brady/Chloe scene exactly the same??? Chloe and Brady run into each other "unexpectedly"... they both make a whole bunch of sarcastic comments about each other... they chase each other around while that stupid music is playing... Chloe gets "hurt" or falls... they have an "intimate" moment... they talk about how they are just friends... they start singing (poorly)... then Philip walks in, catches them in some compromising position, and starts yelling... enough is enough!!! they have NO CHEMISTRY, i don't want to hear them singing EVER AGAIN, and Nadia Bjorlin (Chloe) is a TERRIBLE actress...
speaking of bad acting... did Kate replace the real Will with that Will doll again??? WILL IS ACTUALLY TALKING... and READING!!! i think i just saw a pig flying outside my window... wait, pigs can't fly... it must have been one of the kids who play Will flying around with those ears again...
01/13/2002 I felt the need to update today about the the teens, Brady, and Marlena...
first of all, i'm so glad the teens haven't been on lately... i was excited to hear Shawn and Belle talking about college... maybe the new writers will grant all our wishes get rid of all the teens entirely... no more Belle sucking helium... no more Shawn-not-Douglas preaching... no more Philip stalking... no more Mimi complaining... no more Chloe singing... no more Cynthia slutting around... no more Jan flashing back to her rape *cringe*... no more Jason getting drunk (although i think he's already gone)... no more Brady bonding with Marlena... no more Kevin acting like a piece of cardboard... no more Susan starting pointless conversations about Kevin... no more looking at Penelope's face... how great would that be???
second, Brady... i liked Brady once upon a time... he hated Marlena... he did everything he possibly could to piss her off... it was all good... now the only thing he cares about cultivating Chloe's "talent" (or lack of talent, in my opinion) and he actually DEFENDS Marlena every chance he gets... so now he must be officially added to the long list of people in Salem who worship Marlena AND the long list of Days characters i HATE...
last (but least), Snarlena... i recall a line Hope said and a reaction from Marlena that was just too classic to forget...
HOPE: nobody knows John and Bo better than i do!
MARLENA: (eat sh*t look) nobody knows John better than you?
i can't remember exactly what was said after this, but Marlena b*tched Hope out for a while about how SHE (Dr. Marlena Evans Black) and no one else knew John better than anyone... the woman might have just lost her husband and made a simple slip of the tongue (no pun intended) mistake... but no, Marlena has to make it very clear that no one knows John better than she does... then she goes on trying to convince everyone to lie to Belle and Shawn about the baby's paternity... i'm glad they didn't take her advice... just look at how Jennifer's doing after Marlena's recent therapy sessions... she's dating BRANDON...
11/08/2001 It's hard to believe this page has been around for THREE YEARS...
fortunately, i haven't been watching Days much lately... it's hard to find specific things to hate about characters when their personalities change daily...
i haven't seen Marlena in a while... i think the last time i saw her, she was yelling at (a rather distraught) Hope and still convincing everyone to keep lying to Bo about the baby's paternity... no real surprise there...
the person that has really been annoying me lately is GRETA... does she actually believe that Jack is gay??? it doesn't even seem like Julianne Morris understands what's going on at all... everything she says sounds sarcastic, but apparently, she believes that Jack is gay... then that LAUGH rears its ugly head and drives everyone up the wall... someone please put this woman out of her misery...
04/09/2001 "Oh my god! My boobs are in my spaghetti!"... i HAD to update when i heard this line... and yes, Sami ACTUALLY said this on today's episode!!! three questions:
1. what do you expect when you wear clothes which provide no support and allow your boobs to fall out everywhere?
2. wouldn't she feel the sauce on her cleavage and realize what happened without having to have Brandon tell her about it first?
3. how did she get all the stains out and dried so quick?
the writers must have been smoking some good crack when they wrote that one... close-ups of Brandon's lips??? as if they aren't big enough already!!!
let's move on to bigger problems... MARLENA... the giggling was a bit much, no??? was she drunk on the dancefloor??? you'd think it was a bumper car arena the way John smacked her right into Sami... "Oh my god! My boobs are in my mom's face!" (i wouldn't be surprised if Sami said that with the current writers)... "i think it's time Brady got a job"... what about you, Doc??? oh wait, you abandoned your practice... good decision considering your new tendency for PHYSICAL ABUSE!!! i couldn't believe she smacked Brady and pushed him into his wheelchair... okay so Brady was calling her a skank, but there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for using physical violence to solve a problem... especially from a "renowned" psychiatrist...
what was with all those weird looks Austin gave when the waiter asked him if he wanted to dance with Greta??? first he gave his usual "duh" look, then he smirked, and then looked like he was blowing something... it made no sense... then again, this is Austin so what was i expecting??? then again, this is DAYS so we can't expect anything to make sense now can we???
12/24/2000 The results are in... Which character (besides Marlena) would you like Days of Our Lives to get rid of???
Jan and Jason 44
Nicole Roberts 25
Brandon Walker 24
Will Roberts 23
Mimi Lockhart 22
this poll was completed 72 times... thank you to everyone who voted...
11/10/2000 Marlena vs. Brady... she rocked him and promised to love him forever... he called her mommy as a little kid... now he's a dangerous murderer and she needs to protect her daughter from him... i wonder whose fault that is??? apparently all the time we thought he spent in the attic with Chelsea and Belle was actually spent alone in his room and playing on the railroad tracks... we also thought that Marlena was neglecting Brady AND Belle... turns out, she was actually just neglecting Brady because he wasn't her kid... i find it incredibly amusing that Doc gives out advice to everyone about how they should live their lives, and yet cannot even control a kid that she supposedly raised since he was a toddler...
speaking of screwed up kids, i was sorely disappointed to see that Belle lived through the accident... it's funny when they show her because you know that they just keep using the same clip over and over... when someone goes to talk to her, the head is hidden by hospital equipment... then they show her face and the lighting is all dark and it's exactly the same angle every time... then it goes back to the person talking to her and the lighting is completely different... too funny...
and last, Jennifer and Bo... you would think that Irish people would be able to tell a fake accent when they heard one... WEIRD...
10/24/2000 I couldn't believe how Marlena was acting towards Hope today... John was consoling her and Marlena was in the background giving her "eat sh*t" looks... the woman had just lost her baby (or so she thought)... you'd think Marlena would at least have some false sympathy for Hope (knowing Marlena), but no, Marlena only seems to care about the fact that another woman has her arms around John...
then there was Kristian Alfonso's acting... simply AWFUL... all these hospital scenes just seem so forced... her happiness seems incredibly phony too... the acting makes it seem like Hope is just pretending to care about the baby because she feels obligated to do so... i don't really know how to describe it... she's just acting very strange... i can't completely blame Kristian though... she is probably doing the best she can with the lousy material she has been given...
i have to say, i was happy when i thought the baby was dead... i was like "finally, they got rid of that ugly thing"... let's face it, the storyline was getting annoying... unfortunately, a "miracle" occurred and "Johnny" (gag) started breathing again... since when do doctors just give up before doing everything they possibly can to save a life??? only in Salem...
10/12/2000 I have to say i have been enjoying Days a lot lately now that everyone is trashing POOR Marlena... finally she is getting a taste of her own strawberries having John lie and cheat on her...
i don't really understand why Brady hates Marlena... i think instead of being mad that Belle was treated better than him, he should just complain that Marlena and John were too busy having sex to take care of him and he was left with Chelsea all the time (the truth)... THAT should be his reason for hating her... however, as long as he is insulting her to her face, i'll keep watching... she must be some great psychiatrist if she can't even handle a kid that she has supposedly been the mother figure to since he was a toddler...
Nancy's comments are even better... "polyester Pollyanna"... it's perfect... LOL...
then there's Hattie, who started all the recent anti-Marlena behaviour in Salem... her first speech about how phony Marlena was sounded like it was taken straight from this page by the writers at Days...
even John can't stand Marlena's selfish behaviour... with everything that is happening in Salem lately, it seems like they are really on our side... i don't mind one bit...
this whole Garden of Eden thing is ridiculous though... first, Austin and Greta get their clothes ripped off by wind... then weeds grow on them in the convenient shape of underwear... i missed the whole Star Wars thing, but Alice Horton was wearing a WIND SOCK on her head today... apparently NOTHING is sacred...
and the Will doll... i don't understand why Lucas didn't think of it sooner... give Sami the real Will and keep the doll for himself... there's no real difference except the doll is a bit more talkative... he and Sami could just switch at the end of every week... i think it would be the perfect arrangement for everyone...
but the thing even more ridiculous than everything in the Garden of Eden and the Will doll combined would have to be... MARLENA RESISTING SEX FROM JOHN... ladies and gentlemen: the deepest part of h_ll has frozen over...
08/28/2000 Well, it has been four months since the last update to this page and yesterday was this page's SECOND birthday... who would have thought that The Unofficial Dr. Marlena Evans Hate Page would have lasted this long??? keep checking back... i'm planning to get this page up and running again with some things that will make this page more offensive than ever...
not surprisingly, the storylines haven't progressed much since the last update except Chloe/Mimi, which is (frighteningly enough) the only thing that is keeping me interested... i sincerely hope that they aren't trying to be like Passions with this whole Salem's Lot idea... i like Passions, but i really don't want Days to copy it for the sake of drawing in teen viewers...
04/10/2000 I have officially stopped taping Days... i took it off my VCR timer... although i have watched Days for years, the show has just become unbearable... after Hope and Stefano got saved from the turret, there was just no reason to watch regularly anymore... however, there is no need to be alarmed... i will still read spoilers, watch from time to time, and update the page about as often as i did before... i will now give you some specific reasons about why i lost interest in each of the storylines...
Brandon
i hate him so much and anything to do with him... period... they should have never brought him on the show... he is repulsive and annoying... i don't understand why he hates Abe and i really don't care... i'm not in the least bit interested in his romance with "Samantha" either...
Sami/Austin
these two make me sick almost as much as John and Marlena... since when do rape victims worship their rapists??? nothing about Austin makes any sense to me... and since Sami has become a good girl, she has become one of the most boring characters on the show...
Abe/Lexie
so Abe and Lexie finally get a storyline and this is it??? Lexie trying to get pregnant... Lexie betraying her husband for Brandon... well, guess what??? i really don't give a rat's a$$ if she gets pregnant or not... and as far as Brandon is concerned, she is just being stupid... why would she side with that nasty beast instead of her own husband???
Belle/Mimi
can we say unrealistic??? do you know anyone who acts like either of these two in real life??? Belle has so many mood swings that it wouldn't surprise me if she was pregnant... it also annoys me how Belle turns down all the boys and Mimi is so desperate, but Mimi is prettier than Belle and has a better personality (although that's not saying much)...
Jan/Jason
note to Days: if you insist on hiring a bunch of kids, try hiring ones that can act...
Philip/Chloe
i don't really care about their "romance", but i like Chloe because she is a good b*tch...
Nancy/Craig/Dr. Miller
one of the only interesting things on the show now, but not enough to keep me watching...
Kate
same old repetitive dialogue mixed with gasping...
Victor
bringing him back was a case of too little too late... i'm glad they brought him back... i think it is great what he is doing to Kate's kids, but it's not enough... KILL THEM!!!
Lucas/Will
i don't care who gets the stupid kid as long as he dies and takes his no-talent father with him...
Nicole/Eric
have i ever liked them??? leave the show already...
Greta
if i have to hear one more story about her damn mother or when she was a little girl, i will scream... Greta's constant ho-hum hands in the pockets attitude is driving me around the bend... and GET OVER IT!!! for the 67th time (and counting), YOUR MOTHER IS DEAD!!!
Bo/Hope
please put them out of their misery... i'll do anything...
Stefano
what is this Lexie bullsh*t??? why doesn't he just knock Hope out (like he does with everyone else) and have Rolf examine her while she's unconscious???
John/Marlena
need i say more???
i have looked at all the spoilers and there doesn't seem to be one ray of hope in the distance... i urge everyone else to stop watching Days too... maybe it might prompt the writers to find work in another field... i also strongly urge everyone to watch Passions... it is about one hundred times as interesting as Days and i'm not exaggerating...
another note to Days: in the future, please hire people who know what they are doing...
03/23/2000
Gina's corpse = cheesy rag doll (wouldn't the body have disintegrated by now?)...
Greta = seal on crack...
that's all for today...
03/21/2000 Sorry about the lack of updates... Days has just been really sucking a LOT lately (with the exception of Victor)...
Marlena has been her usual MARTYR self... the "OH JOHN" in today's episode was a classic... did anyone catch the look on her face when Hope announced that she was pregnant??? Marlena almost looked angry that it wasn't her... she WOULD want to get knocked up again knowing Marlena...
the worst part of Days was by far WILL!!! just when i thought that kid couldn't possibly get any stupider... he sits there staring at the camera for like 30 seconds and SMILING for it, he didn't look at Lucas when he was talking to him (when does he ever?), and then he looked up at the boom microphone... his mistakes were so obvious... why didn't they age that kid with all the others??? i guess Days will do anything to keep this increasingly boring custody storyline going...
some good news though... Victor Webster (Nicholas Alamain) has been taken off contract... do you know what that means??? it means we will start seeing less and less of that no-talent mannequin until he disappears from Days COMPLETELY!!! no more Nicholas!!! let us all rejoice!!!
03/01/2000 Of course, John and Marlena have to make out before jumping off the sinking plane... did anyone get the sense while the plane was going down that Marlena was more worried about John's mental health than the safety of all the other people on the plane???
01/21/2000 Jensen Ackles (Eric Brady) is leaving the show in July when his contract expires... Austin Peck (Austin Reed) may also leave when his contract expires in March (i thought his contract was until 2001), but is currently in negotiations with the show... let's hope he gets the boot... maybe Eric and Austin can take Nicole, Brandon, and Sami with them too... i can hardly watch when any of those idiots are on...
LOL... John remembers having sex with Hope/Gina on the submarine and Marlena knows about it... could this drive a wedge between our favourite couple??? i think so... that was so stupid when John got caught returning Hope's file to Marlena's office and he was like "cuff me baby" and Marlena's like "i'm going to cuff you, but first we have to talk"... gag me!!!
so far, the rumour about Hope being pregnant has NOT been confirmed... personally, i do not want to see another stupid pregnancy storyline... plus, John/Pawn and Hope/Gina had sex like six months ago... you'd think she'd be showing by now...
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