Young Big Lou: One down 63 to go. There you are Louie.
Young Louie: You're a buck short dad.
Young Big Lou: No it's all there. Take another look. You may have made a mistake.
Young Louie: Dad!
Young Big Lou: January is a tough month.
Young Louie: So is December. Gimmie my money.
Young Big Lou: That's my boy.

Louie (Joe Pesci): She goes in and out all day. In, out, in, out. See that's how the door broke. Your supposed to go in and stay in. She goes out to buy milk, she buys one milk. She goes out to get eggs she gets two eggs. You get them by a dozen pal. A dozen. You ever hear of a dozen? You ever hear of a dozen. A Dozen.
Hispanic Tenant: No intiendo. Est no bueno, no good. It's broken.
Louie: But, it worked before you broke it. It aint my problem. You understand? It worked... It worked before you broke it.
(While typing into a pocket translator)
Translator: (speaking in spanish)
Hispanic Tenants: (argue adamantly in spanish)

Eleanor (Titos' gramma): Look at my boy. How's he supposed to study at night with no electricity, by candlelight?
Louie: Lincoln did.

Leotha (Beatrice Winde): Do you know what kind of droppings those are?
Louie: Moose droppings.
Leotha: Rat droppings Kritski
Louie: You really know your shit don't you? (laughs) (and laughs some more) What's the matter? Aint you got a sence of humor?

Louie: I aint scared in this neighborhood. And, do you know why I'm not scared? Because I'm walkin' like I talkin' kid.
(A gun fires and Louie dives for cover)
Tito: What's the matter with you?
Louie: What do you mean "What's the matter with me?" Nothing is wrong with me. Didn't you hear me yell "Dive!"? I said "Dive!"
Tito: Oh come on.
Louie: What do you mean come on. I only did that because you were here. I was worried about you.

Gilliam (Paul Benjamin): Anger is the foothold of the Devil.
Louie: Fuck you and the Devil.

Toilet: (sound of toilet overflowing followed by it's burp)

Louie: What do you expect me to do, shit outside?
Eleanor: Lincoln did.

Marlon: It screams! Do you know what it says? It says "Look at me. I'm wearing shit that nobody in this neighborhood would wear. So come and stick me with a sharp object of your preference and then steal that hideaway wallet I got velcroed on my leg."

Louie: So, how come they call you Milkman?
Milkman: Because I killed the milkman.

(Louie jumps up and down on floor in anger)
(Louie Crashes through the floor into the Hispanic families apartment and lands in the center of their table. If that wasn't enough one last peice of the ceiling comes crashing down into the groin area of Louie causing the table to flatten)
Hispanic Tenants: Yelling in spanish.
Louie: English english doesn't anyone talk english.
Hispanic Tenant: (Pointing at ceiling) It worked before you broke it.

Louie: I don't fucken believe it, my car. Marlon you shoulden't have. I can't believe it. It's a miricle. Where did you get all the original parts and everything?
Marlon: Well, I guess when you put your mind into something.
Louie: I mean everybody has been so nice, giving me my car back, I'm almost sad to leave .
(crowd murmurs)
Louie: Anyway uh, Thanks.
(Louie gets in car, starts engine, and peals outta there.)
Real Owner of the Corvette: Marlon! (Knocks over garbage can) Marlon! Who the hell took my car?
(Crowd points in direction that Louie exited)