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Planes Trains And Automobiles
 
    pta001.wav(165K)
    Guy in Cab: Anyone who'd pay $50 for a cab... would certainly pay 75.
    Neal: Not necessarily.... alright, $75. You're a thief.
    Guy in Cab: Close. I'm an attorney.
    pta002.wav(183K)
    Neal: I hailed a cab on Park Avenue this afternoon, and before I could get in it, you stole it.
    Del: You're the guy who tried to get my cab! I knew I knew you, yeah... you scared the bejeezes out of me. (laughs)     Come to think of it, it was awful easy to get a cab during rush hour.
    pta003.wav(38K)
    Del: Is this a coincidence or what? Have a seat.
    pta004.wav(37K)
    Del: Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.
    pta005.wav(121K)
    Neal: What's the flight situation?
    Del: Simple. There's no way on earth we're gonna get outta here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pick-up-sticks with our butt cheeks than we will getiin' a flight outta here before daybreak.
    pta007.wav(76K)

    Del: I had no idea those beer cans were gonna blow like that.
    Neal: You left them on a vibrating bed. What did you think was going to happen?.
    pta009.wav(121K)
    Neal: You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room and someone who will listen to your boring stories. I mean didn't you notice on the plane, when you starting talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag?
    pta010.wav(326K)
    Neal: "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith. He's got some amusing andecdotes for you. Oh, and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. And they'd say "How can you stand it?" And I'd say "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take anything." And you know what thy'd say? They'd say "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy... whoa."
    pta012.wav(639K)
    Neal: Del.
    Del: Hmmm.
    Neal: Why did you kiss my ear?
    Del: Why are you holding my hand?
    Neal: Where's your other hand?
    Del: Between two pillows.
    Neal: Those aren't pillows!
    Both: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
    (much shivering and grimacing by both)
    Neal: See that Bears game last week?
    Del: Yeah, helluva a game, helluva game. Bears gotta great team this year.
    pta015.wav(55K)
    Neal: Anyway, it's been... interesting.
    Del: That's the understatement of the year.
    pta016.wav(271K)
    Del leads the bus in singing the theme from "The Flintstones."
    pta018.wav(766K)
    Rental Car Clerk: Welcome to Marathon. May I help you?
    Neal: Yes.
    Clerk: How may I help you?
    Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A fucking Mustang. A fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat.
    Clerk: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
    Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere, with the fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking hiway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now.
    Clerk: May I see your rental agreement.
    Neal: I threw it away.
    Clerk: Oh boy...
    Neal: Oh boy what?
    Clerk: You're fucked
    pta019.wav(206K)
    Del: I've enever seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky thing for you that cop passed by when he did. Otherwise you'd be looking up your schnutz to tie your shoes. I'm sorry, that's terrible. Do you have any idea how glad I am I didn't kill you?
    Neal: Do you have any idea how glad I'd be if you had?
    pta20.wav(240K)
    Del: You play with your balls alot.
    Neal: I do not "play with my balls."
    Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball handling in one night as you do in an hour.
    Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?
    Del: No, I'm simply stating a fact, that's all. You fidgit with your nuts alot.
    Neal: You know what would make me happy?
    Del: Another couple balls and an extra set of fingers?
    pta024.wav(95K)
    Neal: Let me just close this conversation by saying that you are one unique individual.
    Del: What is "unique"? Latin for "asshole?"
    pta025.wav(205K)
    Del: (laughing)
    Was that seat hot, or what? Like a big whopper..."turn me over, I'm done on this side"... I'm afraid to look at my ass, you know? I might have those griddle marks on my ass.
    (Del and Neal both laugh)
    pta026.wav(99K)
    Cop: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for hiway travel?
    Del: Yes I do. Yes I really do. I believe that. I know it's not pretty to look at, but it'll get you where you want to go.
 
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