By day Mark Hunter (CHRISTIAN SLATER) is a painfully shy new kid in a small Arizona town. But by night he's Hard Harry, the cynical, uncensored DJ of a pirate raadio station who sets the airwaves alight with his fiercely funny monologues on sex, love and rock 'n' roll.


Idolised by his high school classmates - who are unaware of his real identity - Harry becomes a hero inspiring his listeners to find their own voices of rebellion and individuality. But then he exposes the corrupt school principal, she calls in the authorities to shut Harry down.


A movie with a message, PUMP UP THE VOLUME is a raw and witty celebration of free speech that will make you laugh, make you cheer, and make you think...

Okay the scene has been set and now it's on with the show :-)

Happy Harry Hardon - You ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up. You know that feeling that the whole country is like one inch away from saying 'That's it, forget it.' I mean think about it. Everything is polluted. The environment, the government, the schools you name it. Speaking of schools, I was walking the Howard Halls the other day and I asked myself, "Is there live after high school?" Because I can't face tomorrow, let alone a whole year of this shit. Yeah, you got it folks. It's me again with a little attitude for all you out here in Whitebread Land. All you nice people living in the middle of America the beautiful. Lets see, we're on er 92 FM tonight and it feels like a nice clean little band so far. No one else is using it. The price is right. Heh, heh. And yes folks you guessed it. Tonight I am as horny as a ten peckered house, so stay tuned because this is Happy Harry Hardon reminding you to eat your cereal with a fork and do your homework in the dark.

[Chat on the school bus, a tape is being passed along]

Boy #1 - Hey give me that

Boy #2 - Hey man let me see that

Boy #1 - Oh.give over here.oh man he played Ice Tea

Girl - Oh great plays Ice Tea and talks about his dick

Boy #1 - No man Luis Chavez was on his show, I heard it last night.

[Murdock waits at bus stop as it arrives outside the school]

Murdock - Mr. Chavez, Luis Chavez. It's just for a second.

[Paige being dropped off a school by her dad]

Mr Woodward - So, I'll pick you up after your yearbook.

Paige Woodward - Okay, dad.

Mr Woodward - And no big dates tonight, you have to be well rested for your History exam tomorrow.

Paige - Okay.

Mazz - Yo Paige, huhuhuhuh, anytime anywhere beautiful. Mr. Paige.

Nora Diniro - Oh, Miss Paige Woodward arriving.

Janie - So rich, so smart.

Nora - So perfect.

Murdock - Cheryl, good to see you. You're going to see the principal this morning.

Luis Chavez - Mr Murdock, can you tell me what this is about.

Murdock - We'll see. [knocks on principle's door] Excuse me, Mrs Cresswood.

Mrs Cresswood - Yes.

Nora - Check this out.

Janie - What is it?

Nora - It's this guy. He's got a pirate radio station. His name is Happy Harry Hardon! [Janie laughs] He's a total sex maniac.

Janie - Of course.

Nora - And he comes on every night at ten o'clock.

[The cellar where Mark Hunter a.k.a. Hard Harry/Happy Harry Hardon broadcasts]

Happy Harry Hardon - Okay, down to business. I got my wild cherry diet Pepsi and I got my Black Jack gum here and I got that feeling, mmm that familiar feeling that something rank is going down up there.

[Leonard Cohen version of "Everybody Knows" plays for a minute or two]

Yeah, I can smell it. I can almost taste it. The rankness in the air. It's everywhere. It's running through that old pipeline out there, trickling along the dumb concrete river and coming up the drains of those lovely tracktones we all live in, home sweet home.

Girl - So who is he?

Girl 2 - Who's Humphrey?

Happy Harry Hardon - I mean I don't know. Everywhere I look it seems everything is sold out.

Annie - They say this is where the reception is the coolest.

Jonathan - Then he probably lives right around here.

Mazz - Fucking Yuppies.

Happy Harry Hardon - My dad sold out. And my mom sold out years ago when she had me. And then they sold me out when they brought me to this hole in the world. Hey, they made me everything I am today so naturally I hate the bastards. Speaking of which, I am er running a contest on the best way to put them out of their misery. Tonight we have number twelve of one hundred things to do with your body when you're all alone. [Mazz laughs] Now, are you ready for the incredible sound of Hard Harry coming on his own face? [makes clasping sound with his hands] Oh, my god, it's very possible you know. Oh, oh, oh, oh..

Boy - Are you listening to this?

Boy 2 - Yeah, course I'm listening, this guy's gotta have hair coming out of his palms!

Happy Harry Hardon - Oh, oh, oh, this is a champion one, oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

Girl - You listening.

Happy Harry Hardon - I'm going blind

Girl - .he's doing it!

Girl 2 - Oh! Unreal!

Girl - Oh my god!

Happy Harry Hardon - I'm going for it. He's still growing. This, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, ahh, aaah... Yes, Hard Harry will go to any length to keep his three listeners glued with Oowy Bluwy to their radios. But question is, "How far will you go?". I mean how far can you go to amaze and disgust the insatiable Hard Harry. Huh? I mean, how serious are you? I ask you that, dear listener.

Mr Woodward - Hi beautiful. You know what I can't figure out how you manage to get such great grades and you listen to that radio all night. You know. Tomorrow don't forget Yale interview. And I don't want you to look too sleepy.you know. Goodnight Sweetheart.

Happy Harry Hardon - Got a lot of letters here guys. Here. Dear Happy Harry Hardon, my boyfriend won't talk to me anymore. How do I show him that I really love him? Look, I don't know anything about these letters asking for love advice. I mean, if I knew anything about love I would be out there making it instead sitting in here talking to you guys. So just er send me stuff to box 20710, USA Mail Paradise Hill Mess Arizona 84012. Replies guarantied. "Dear Harry, I think you're boring and obnoxious and have a high opinion of yourself." Course some of you are probably thinking I sent this from myself. "I think school is okay if you just look at it right. I mean I like your music, but I really don't see why you can't be cheerful for one second." I'll tell you since you asked. I just arrived in this stupid suburb. I have no friends, no money, no car, no licence. And even if I did have a licence all I can do is drive out to some stupid mall. Maybe if I'm lucky play some fucking video games, smoke a joint and get stupid. You see, there's nothing to do anymore. Everything decent's been done. All the great themes have been used up. Turned into theme parks. So I don't really find it exactly cheerful to be living in the middle of a totally like exhausted decade where there's nothing to look forward to and no one to look up to. That was deep. [burps] Oh no, not again. The creature stirs. Oh God, I think it is going to be a gusher. This is the sixth time in an hour. Ohhh god, excuse me while I.

Jonathan - He sounds like he's a chronic masturbator.

Annie - He prides himself on it.

Happy Harry Hardon - You see, I take care of it. Oh, or else I'm going to explode. I just... Excuse me while I... While I... While I...uh, uh [turns "Lovebombs in Space" music on and starts hitting his sofa with a golf club] Uh, uh, uh, oh yeah... Oh yeah. Oh God. Oh yeah, this is the best. Oh Nelly.I'm gonna explode... Oh, take cover Arizona here I come.

Mazz - Any time now, man.

Happy Harry Hardon - Oh God... Oh, oh God... This is the best. Oh God. Oh God, yeah, yeah... Free at last, I'm beat. I'm whipped. Quitting time. Gotta recuperate.

Mazz - There he goes. Sometimes he's on for five minutes, sometimes he's on for five hours. That's my man.

[Mark comes out of the cellar swinging the golf club, he swing it behind his Dad's head and goes over to the refrigerator]

Marla Hunter - God, I feel so out of touch here.

Brian Hunter - Well we didn't move out here to stay in touch.

Marla Hunter - Then why did we move out here?

Brian Hunter - Oh, because it's a nice place to live, I'm making good money and I'm the youngest school commissioner in the History of Arizona.

Marla Hunter - Brian, you know what. The man I married loved his work. Not power and money.

Brian Hunter - That's all right I still love my work. And I love power and money.

Marla Hunter - You were a young radical Brian, you were always fighting against the system. And now you are...

Brian Hunter - I am the system, yeah. [Looks over at Mark] Is that a beer?

Mark Hunter (a.k.a. Happy Harry Hardon) - Sure!

Marla Hunter - Have you noticed his behaviour lately?

Brian Hunter - What about him?

Marla Hunter - He's just so unhappy here.

Brian Hunter - [sighs] I'll go talk to him.

[Brian's Study, Mark is rooting through his Dad's stuff, he picks up a piece of paper - a memo - and hides it in his shirt, his Dad comes through the door]

Brian Hunter - Hi, what's up?

Mark - I was just looking for some stamps.

Brian Hunter - Oh fine, I got some right here. Sending a letter to one of your friends back east?

Mark - No, I thought I might send away for an inflatable date.

Brian Hunter - You know, one of these days you're going to out smart yourself young man.

Mark - I love it when you call me young man.

Brian Hunter - You know when I was your age I was in all the teams and a bunch of clubs. Look all I'm saying is that school must have some really terrific programs, it's very highly rated.

Mark - Look just save it for the masses okay?

Brian Hunter - Mark, they've got twelve hundred students at that school. Certainly some of them have gotta be cool.

Mark - Look the deal is I get decent grades, you guys leave me alone.

[Back at Hubert Humphrey High]

Janie - Okay who is this guy?

Nora - I don't know, nobody knows who he is, but he really hates this school so I guess he goes here.

Janie - But all the guys that go here are geeks.

Nora - Maybe not my dear! Later

Janie - Later?!

[English Class]

Jan Emerson - And so then the logi cars questioned the few remaining death spurs more and more they began to fade away until there was nothing left of them and they disappeared from the face of the earth...... Hmm, pretty good huh? Leading with your heart, not your mind. Mark, I wondered if you'd tell us what you were thinking about when you wrote this?

Mark - I just wrote it like last night.

Jan - That's obvious it's practically illegible. Mark, I was hoping you'd share your feelings about it. [Bell rings] Saved by the bell. Don't think If I didn't read your composition it won't be read. Bye. Mark! They're looking for new writers at The Clarion. Don't be embarrassed of your talent.

[Paige0walks from class a couple of guys pass by]

Boy 1 - Hey Paige

Boy 2 - Hiya Paige

Boy 1 - Yeah I finally got my new box you should hear the CD player

Boy 2 - Yeah you should go hear it

Boy 1 - Unbelievable

Boy 2 - Temptings going to throw a party tonight

Boy 1 - See ya there

Boy 2 - Yeah see ya

[Murdock's woodwork class. The students are waiting for him to arrive. Music is playing on the radio]

Student 1 - Ahuh

Student 2 - Ahuh

[Both laugh]

[A guy opens the tape holder an puts in a tape]

Student 1 - Hey that's my box how's about askin' huh?

[Rap music plays - "Kicking conversation ain't talkin' 'bout nothin' but all that's really on your mind is what? Yo baby let's get butt naked and fuck. That's right, if you're a man you want it. You know that. If you're a women you tease 'em an' flaunt 'em that's." Murdock hears the music and hurries to the classroom ".and after they dog it I autograph it .. and if the posse has good luck the girls will get butt naked and fuck that night. This one takes the pictures." Murdock turns the tape off]

Class - Morning Mr. Murdock. Morning Sir

Murdock - I'm not stupid, you know?

[Staff room]

Cresswood - This school is judged on one category only; Academic scores. The lesson of modern education is that nothing comes easily, no pain, no gain.

Murdock [entering] - Excuse me everyone Miss Cresswood do you want to listen to this, it's the third tape this week. It's unbelievable.

[Murdock plays a tape with Happy Harry Hardon simulating masturbation]

Jan - [laughs]

Cresswood - Jan! This is no laughing matter.

[School Library]

Nora - Hi!

Mark - Hi

Nora - You're in my writing class right.

Mark - Right.

Nora - Yeah I like Emerson she's pretty funky. [Nora look at the date on Mark's book] Now you're in trouble!.... You owe twenty five cents...... "How To Talk Dirty And Influence People" by Lenny Bruce. Who's he?... Any good?

Mark - He's alright.

Nora - Talk a lot?

Mark - Not too much no.

[Mark leaves and Nora looks down at checklist of possible Hard Harrys]

Nora - Cute, but no way!

[A ten o'clock show]

Happy Harry Hardon - Guess who? It's ten o'clock do you care where your parents are? Because after all it is a jungle out there. [Everybody Knows plays] I don't know. Everywhere I look it seems that someone's getting butt surfed by the system. My parents are always talking about the system, and the sixties and how coooool it was. Well look at where the sixties got them hey! Come on people now smile on your brother everybody get together try to love one another right now tune in, turn it up, too good!!! Now that was the sixties, this is a song from the nineties from my buddies the Descendants. [The Descendants play - Welcome to Dorenas Central may I take your order please..etc., Harry talks along - Do you want whale sperm with that? NO]

Listener - oh oh oh oh oh oh

Harry - Why don't we listen to that one again.Welcome to Dorenas Central can I take you order please?.. I'd like [loud inaudible music]. Do you want whale sperm with that? NO. I hate the sixties, I hate school, I hate principals, I hate vice principles! But my true pure refined hatred is reserved for guidance councillors. Happy Harry just happens to have in his very hands a copy of a memo written by one Mr. David Deaver, guidance councillor extroadinaire to one Miss Loretta Cresswood, high school principle. "I find Cheryl unremorseful about her unfortunate condition" Bastard can't even say she's knocked up.

[Cheryl on phone tuning radio]

Cheryl - What channel?

[Back to Harry]

Harry - And she's unwilling to minimise it's affect on the moral of the student population." Guidance councillors!!!!! If they knew anything about career moves would they have ended up as guidance councillors? What do you say we call Deaver up hey? Hard Harry just happens to have the home phone numbers of every employee of the Paradise Hills School Commission. Here we go, there you are Mr. Deesky

[Happy Harry Hardon rings up Mr Deaver]

Deaver - Deaver residence, David Deaver speaking.

Happy Harry Hardon - Hey this is WKPS, we're doing a piece on high schools. We understand that you're a guidance councillor.

Deaver - I'm head of guidance here at Hubert Humphrey High in Paradise Hills Arizona. I've been here seven years.

Happy Harry Hardon - Can you tell us a bit about what you do.

Deaver - I run a comprehensive American values program, erm, erm in which we discuss er ethical situations, er sex education, er drug abuse...

Happy Harry Hardon - What do you say to young people who look around at the world and see it's become, like a... a sleazy country, you know, a place you just can't trust? Like your school for example. Why is it, it wins all of these awards and students are dropping out like flies, why, why is that? Now my listeners are curious in the decision to expel Cheryl Biggs.

Deaver - I, I, I, erm, I'm not aware of anything like that, I don't know what you're talking about.

Happy Harry Hardon - That's not true sir. "Cheryl refuses to accept suggestions of a more positive mental attitude towards her health and her future. I'm afraid I find no alternative, but to suggest suspension."

Deaver - Who is this? How did you get this number?

Happy Harry Hardon - Do you admit it sir?

Deaver - Admit what?

Happy Harry Hardon - That you're slime!

Deaver - Now wait just a minute.

Happy Harry Hardon - You interview a student and then you rat on her, you betray her trust, isn't that right sir? [Deaver slams phone down] Well as you can see, these guys are played out. Society is mutating so rapidly that anyone over the age of twenty has really no idea.... Err alright, back down to business. "I share a room with my older brother and nearly every night after he turns off his light he comes over to my bed and gives me a few arm nookies and stuff and then makes me scratch his back and other refinements". It's about time we had some refinements on this show. "Then sooner or later he gets worked up and without further a do he rubs his thing and makes me watch." Signed "Screwed up". Well first of all you're not screwed up, you're an unscrewed up reaction to a screwed up situation. Feeling screwed up at a screwed up time, in a screwed up place does not make you necessarily screwed up, if you catch my drift. Well as you know dear listeners if you enclose your number a reply is guaranteed. [Rings Miss Screwed Up]

Miss Screwed Up - Hello

Happy Harry Hardon - This is Happy Harry Hardon, you're live. Is this Miss Screwed Up?

Miss Screwed Up - Yes

Happy Harry Hardon - Well I have a couple of questions. How big is it, this thing you described? Is it bigger than a baby's arm....? What you don't remember or you don't want to tell me....? Or maybe you made this whole thing up hey? Remember my dear I can smell a lie like a fart in a car. [Miss Screwed Up hangs up] Well it's too bad about that one actually, to me the real truth is always a bigger turn on. It doesn't have to be a big deal, it could be anything.

[Malcolm's bedroom]

Mrs Kaiser - Malcolm, have you finished your homework yet?

Malcolm - Yes.

Mrs Kaiser - Your father and I are downstairs, why don't you come and join us for once.

Malcolm - No.

Mrs Kaiser - Alright Malcolm have it your way.

Malcolm - Thanks.

[Back at Hard Harry's]

Happy Harry Hardon - So, I don't know, send me your most pathetic moment, your most anything, as long as it's real. I mean I want the size, the shape, the feel, the smell. I mean I want.I want blood, sweat and tears on these letters. I want brains and ectoplasm and cum spilled all over them. Hallelujah! And now, all my horny listeners, get one hand free because yes, the eat me beat me lady is back. "Come in. Every night you enter me like a criminal. You break into my brain, but you're no ordinary criminal. You put your feet up, you drink your can of Pepsi, you start to party, you turn up my stereo. Songs I've never heard, but I move anyway. You get me crazy, I say 'Do it.' I don't care what just do it. Jam me, jack me, push me, pull me - talk hard!".. mmm............ I like that. Talk Hard. I like the idea that a voice can just go somewhere uninvited and just kind of hang out like a dirty thought in a nice clean mind. Maybe a thought is like a virus. You know, it can just kill all the healthy thoughts and just take over. That would be serious.

Nora - That would be totally serious.

Happy Harry Hardon - I know that all of my horny listeners would love it if I would call up the eat me beat me lady. But no! Because she never encloses her number.

Nora - Tough look creepoid.

Happy Harry Hardon - Always the same red paper, the same beautiful black writing. She's probably a lot like me, a legend in her own mind. Hehehehe. But you know what, I bet in real life she's probably not that wild. I bet she's kind of shy like so many of us briskly walking the halls, pretending to be late for some class, pretending to be distracted. Hey, poetry lady, are you really this cool? Are you out there? Are you listening?

Nora - I'm always out here.

Happy Harry Hardon - I feel like I know you, and yet we'll never meet. Ah so be it... Well here's a song from my close personal buddies the Beastie Boys. A song that was so controversial they couldn't put it on their second album. What about a little night light?

[Harry sings along as the Beastie Boys play]

Happy Harry Hardon - I just love being the rap king of Arizona. I don't know. Drugs are out, sex is out, politics are out, everything is on hold. I mean we definitely need something new. We just keep waiting for some new voice to come out of somewhere and say "Hey wait a second, what is wrong with this picture?" [picks up a letter and opens it] Well maybe this is the answer to everything, wouldn't that be nice huh? "Dear Happy Harry Hardon do you think I should kill myself" Great! Signed "I'm Serious" And of course there is a number here. [Calls the number] Hello serious?

Malcolm - Yeah

Happy Harry Hardon - Are you okay?

Malcolm - Yep

Happy Harry Hardon - I guess what I'm asking is how serious are you, well how are you going to do it?

Malcolm - I'm gonna blow my fucking head off.

Happy Harry Hardon - Oh! Well d'you... do you have a gun?

Malcolm - No I'm going to use my finger genius.

Happy Harry Hardon - Alright. So where is this gonna take place hey?

Malcolm - Right here.

Happy Harry Hardon - Well where is this alleged gun? Do you have it with you? Did you at least write a note? I mean you have a reason don't you? You're not going to be one of those people who kills themselves and nobody has any idea of why they did it? Huh? That's why we need a note pal!

Malcolm - I'm all alone.

Happy Harry Hardon - A wha.. hey, maybe it's okay to be alone sometimes, I mean I... everybody's alone.

Malcolm - You're not.

Happy Harry Hardon - I didn't talk to one person today, not... not counting teachers. I sit alone everyday, you know, in the stairwell eating my lunch, reading a book. What about you? [Malcolm hangs up] I hate that, now I'm depressed. Now I feel like killing myself, but luckily I'm too depressed to bother. [Tries to re-dial Malcolm, but it's engaged] Great! He's got the phone of the hook. Rejected again, that's okay I'm use to it, terminal loneliness....... People always think they know who a person is but they're always wrong. Most parents have no idea. It's just that mine had me tested because I sit alone in my room alone, naked, wearing only a cock ring, hehe! I mean it really bugs me, everyone thinks what a person should be, who cares who I should be! You know, in real life I could be that anonymous nerd sitting across from you in Chem. Lab, staring at you so hard, you turn around, he tries to smile, but the smile just comes out all wrong. You just think how pathetic, then he just looks away and never looks back at you again. Well hey, who cares huh, that's my motto. Well sleep tight Cheryl, sleep tight Miss Refinements, sleep tight Poetry Lady... sleep tight Mr Serious, maybe you'll feel better tomorrow.

[Tomorrow at school - Above The Law playing]

Jamie - Hey what's a cock ring, it sounds cool.

Alex - How should I know, maybe it's a ring with a cock on it.

Jamie - But he said he was wearing it.

[Donald selling tapes]

Student - How much do you want for it

Donald - Five bucks each

[Mark approaches Paige - Tale of The Twister Plays]

Mark - Hi

Paige - Hi.

[Someone stops music and puts a tape on of Happy Harry Hardon's conversation with Deaver, Murdock comes over and switches it off]

Murdock - Who put this on?

Kid - I don't know I looked around.

Murdock - You know people this dancing is a privilege and it will be taken away if it's abused, do you understand that?

[Nora searches the school grounds for Happy Harry Hardon and finds Mark reading on the stairs]

Nora - Hi, got a stick of gum...? Black Jack...! You really as horny as a ten peckerd house....? Hi my names Nora, what's yours?

Mark - Mark.

Nora - Mark! Well hi Mark.

Mark - Hi.

Nora - Listen, I was gonna cut fourth period, do you wanna join me for a smoke in the arts supply room.

Mark - Er, no, I've got to go, sorry.

Nora - Sorry!

[Staff room]

Murdock - These damn tapes keep cropping up all over the place, they were playing this in the alcove.

[Murdock puts on the tape]

Mr. Moore - Who is this guy anyway, everyday there's more graffiti?

Mr. Stern - I don't know, but he's turning the school upside down.

Jan - Has anybody seen Luis Chavez he wasn't in my class today?

Mr. Stern - Mine either.

[Murdock plays the tape of Happy Harry Hardon reading out Deaver's letter to Cresswood. Cresswood enters the staff room.]

Cresswood - Turn that off, I have an announcement to make.

[Mark's English class]

Jan - I have some very upsetting news. Last night one of our students, Malcolm Kaiser, took his own life, for those of you who knew him, there will be a memorial service at Dempsey Hall on Friday. I know it hurts, it's painful to lose someone.

[Mark wanders around for a while then goes to collect his post from the postal centre, he exits and starts to read the eat me beat me lady's letter]

[Nora reads] - "You're the voice crying out in the wilderness, you're the voice that makes my brain burn and make my guts go gooey. Yeah you gut me, my insides spill on your alter and tell the future, my steaming gleaming guts spell out your nature. I know you, not your name, but your game. I know the true you, come to me or I'll come to you."

[Nora appears from behind the bus stop]

Nora - So you are him! Don't worry I'm not going to bust you or anything... Aren't you going to ask who I am?

Mark - No, I don't think so, no!

Nora - I'm the eat me beat me lady! [Mark turns away in disbelief] You don't believe me? [She takes the red letter from his hand anzd holds it up and recites it, Mark backs away] "I know you, not your name, but your game. I know the true you, come to me or I'll come to you." Hey relax, I'm not really like that.. except when I am!

Mark - [walking away] I really can't handle this right now.

Nora - Look it's not your fault. I was listening last night. [He then runs, she shouts after him] I didn't think he'd go through with it.

[The Hunter dining table]

Marla - Mark, we heard about Malcolm Kaiser, we know.

Brian - We were just wondering if you knew him?

Mark - No not really.

Brian - Mark, I'm going to ask you something. Your mother and I have been talking and... and er... I guess we realise...

Marla - Mark, basically we thought you might benefit from seeing a psychiatrist.

Mark - Is it that obvious?

Marla - No honey of course not. We think you're perfect, it's just that you seem so sad and lonely all the time.

Brian - And we just want you to feel good about yourself.

Marla - You had friends in New York Hon'.

Brian - Have you ever tried to meet people here at all?

Marla - Have you ever just walked up to a girl here and said 'Hi'?

Mark (Trying to make an exit) - Look the girls here, they're different, I can't talk to them!

Marla - How are they different?

Brian - I was taking to your English teacher today.

Mark - C'mon Dad please! It's creepy enough around there without you snooping around.

Brian - And she says you've got a great promise as a writer, but that you're having trouble concentrating.

Mark - So when is Johnny gonna concentrate, get happy, get a girl friend and then write a best seller, huh?

Brian - Fine! You don't listen, you don't talk to me, you don't talk to anyone, you hate everything.

Mark - I can't talk to you people and I'm certainly ain't gonna see a shrink.

Brian - Listen Mark! Everyone's got problems, not just you, but you ain't gonna solve them if you don't communicate them. You've got to talk to somebody!

[Mark walks off]

Marla - Okay! He's gone back down stairs.

[Downstairs]

Shep Sheppard - And so family and friends of Malcolm Kaiser sadly come and go into the night even as phantom DJ Happy Harry Hardon prepares to broadcast anonymously from somewhere in this formerly peaceful community. This is Shep Sheppard reporting live from Paradise Hills, Arizona. Back to you Bill.

Mark - [Mark switches off the TV] Yeah back to you.

[If it be your will plays. The ten o'clock broadcast]

Happy Harry Hardon - You see I never planned it like this. My dumb Dad got me this short wave radio set so I could just speak to my friends back east, but I couldn't reach anybody, so I thought I was talking to nobody. I imagined nobody listening. Maybe I imagined one person out there, anyway one day I woke up and I realised I was never going to be normal and so I said fuck it, I said so be it and Happy Harry Hardon was born. But I never meant to hurt anyone, honestly I never meant to hurt anyone. I'm sorry Malcolm. I never said "Don't do it" I'm sorry. Erm anyway that's it shows over, I'm done, stick a fork in me, it's been grand. This is Happy Harry Hardon saying sionara, over and out [Turns radio transmitter off].

Nora - Come on you can't do this.

Paige - This is a joke right?

Mazz - C'mon Harry baby, don't stiff.

Mark - What am I doing. Fuck It! [Switches it back on]

Happy Harry Hardon - You hear about some kid who did something stupid, something desperate. What possessed him? How could he do such a terrible thing? Well come here [Takes Lizard] It's really quite simple actually. Consider the life of a teenager. You have parents, teachers telling you what to do. You have movies, magazines, and TV telling you what to do. But you know what you have to do. Your job, your purpose, is to get accepted, get a cute girl friend, and think up something great to do with the rest of your life. What if you're confused and can't imagine a career? What if you're funny looking and you can't get a girl friend? You see no one wants to hear it, but the terrible secret is that being young is sometimes less fun than being dead.

Shep Sheppard - This is great he's making it worse.

Happy Harry Hardon - Suicide is wrong, but the interesting thing about it, is how uncomplicated it seems. Y'know! There you are, you got all these problems swarming around your brain, and here is one simple, one incredibly simple solution. I'm just surprised it doesn't happen every day around here. Now, now they're going to say I said offing yourself is simple, but no, no, no, no, it's not simple. It's like everything else you have to read the fine print. For instance, assuming that there is a heaven who would ever wanna go there, you know. I mean think about it, it's cool you're sitting on this cloud, you know it's nice, it's quiet, there's no teachers, there's no parents, but guess what? There's nothing to do. Fucking boring. Another thing to remember about suicide is that it is not a pretty picture. First of all, you shit your shorts, you know? So there you are dead, people are weeping over you, crying, girls you never spoke to are saying, "Why? Why? Why?" and you have a load in your shorts. That's the way I see it. Sue me. Now, they're saying I shouldn't think stuff like this. They're saying that something is wrong with me, that I should be ashamed. Well, I'm sick of being ashamed. Aren't you?

Paige - Sick to death!

Happy Harry Hardon - I don't mind being dejected and rejected, but I'm not going to be ashamed about it.

Nora - Alleuelya

Happy Harry Hardon - This pain is real. At least pain is real. You look around and you see nothing is real, but the pain is real. You know, even this show isn't real. This isn't me; I'm using a voice disguiser. I'm a phoney fuck just like my Dad, just like anybody. You see, the real me is just as worried as the rest of you. They say I'm disturbed, well of course I'm disturbed. I mean we're all disturbed, and if we're not, why not? Doesn't this blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why not do something crazy? It makes a hell of a lot of sense than blowing you fucking brains out you know. Go nuts, go crazy, get creative! You got problems? You just chuck'em, nuke'em! They think you're moody? Make'em think you're crazy, make'em think you might snap! They think you got attitude? You show'em some real attitude! Come on, go nuts, get crazy. Hey no more Mr. Nice Guy. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh god!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh yes. [Paige throws all her stuff in the microwave and turns it on, and sits in front of it, the microwave explodes] [Henry Rollins plays] Time out! [Starts to read a letter] This is good, very interesting. [Happy Harry Hardon dials the phone]

Chris - Hello

Happy Harry Hardon - Hi it's me you're on the air. Are you willing to tell my listeners what you told me here in this letter? Do you think they're ready to handle it.

Chris - I'm not ashamed.

Happy Harry Hardon - So tell us what happened.

Chris - This guy I knew, he invited me up to the ridge and I wasn't really sure why, but I was really happy because he's pretty cool, he's an athlete and everything.

Happy Harry Hardon - First of all where was this and how old are you.

Chris - It was just before school. I'm sixteen.

Happy Harry Hardon - Go ahead.

Chris - So we get up there, we take our shirts off and we start fooling around and then I sought of told him how much I liked him, he just smiled and said he knew it. But then, he says why don't we take our pants off and get a tan, so I did it, but he stalled.

Happy Harry Hardon - Go ahead.

Chris - Then two of his friends showed up and they were drinking beer and laughing and they took my clothes and threw them up in the trees. I didn't know what to do. I started to cry but they just laughed at me so I stopped and they just started calling me things. I don't even care about that. I know I'm into guys, but this was different.

Happy Harry Hardon - So what did you do?

Chris - Everything, everything they told me.

Deaver - I'm calling the police. Fraud! Pornography! He is just using these poor kids.

Police Dispatcher - That's the thirteenth call tonight.

Police Officer - Sounds like the kids bull shitting to me.

Detective Denny - I don't know, things happen when you're a kid

Police Officer - You swallow it Denny?

Detective Denny - I think you're forgetting what it's like when you're young.

Shep's Boss - C'mon Shep. They get this kid to call in with this story they've concocted, this isn't real.

Shep Sheppard - Who cares if it's real? People are riveted.

Detective Denny - No! If people are re-broadcasting this stuff over state lines, I think it's time to bring in the Feds. This is F.C.C. jurisdiction.

Chris - I feel bad that I didn't even do anything. I didn't even say anything. Now he won't even talk to me, he won't even look at me. I'm pretty confused!

Happy Harry Hardon - Confused! You're not the one who is confused. You sound like you know exactly what's going on. If anyone's confused it's those guys out there.

Chris - I know, but I think about them a lot. I sometimes wonder why one person is born one way and another person is born another way..... Are you there?

Happy Harry Hardon - Yeah, yes!

Chris - So I guess you think I'm a faggot wimp right?

Happy Harry Hardon - No! I'm just thinking how strong people can be and how everyone is alike in some way, how everyone needs the same things.

Chris - So what are we going to do about all this?

Happy Harry Hardon - I don't know. That's the big question isn't it huh?

Chris - I guess nobody knows huh? Well that's tough, I got to go, see ya.

Happy Harry Hardon - I guess we all got to go now. Good night pal, good night friends.

[The Pixies "Wave Of Mutilation" plays]

[Harry walks to school, he picks up a newspaper of a lawn which has "Teen Radio Pirate Ups Attacks" as it's headline]

[Tomorrow in the school grounds, Nora reads a poster on Deaver's door]

Nora - "'Believe It Or Not I Care', eight thirty to three thirty" What's that?

Janie - Some new hot line Deaver's setting up.

Nora - Hey it's like eight thirty in the morning so it's alright to kill myself!

Janie - Oh my god it's after three so I guess I'm totally fucked.

[Mark walks by]

Nora - Hi!

[Mark ignores her]

Janie - What are you doing.......? Tramp!

Nora - Bitch!

[Cresswood's office]

Cresswood - How's he getting this information? I want all the locks in the school changed. I want a list of every student with relatives on the staff.

[Murdock walks in]

Murdock - Excuse me. I just found the graffiti on the roof of the cafeteria, they're taking it down now.

Cresswood - What's it say?

Murdock - "Cresswood's a maggot pus wad."

Kid [to Donald]- Are you the guy selling the tapes.....?

[Murdock sees Donald selling Happy Harry Hardon tapes by the lockers and takes him to Cresswood]

Donald - Nobody knows who he is.

Cresswood - We don't believe you Donald.

Donald - I swear to you, nobody's got any idea.

Murdock - Well you've got to the end of the day to get an idea. Don't forget, your file is under review.

Cresswood - You better bring all you enrolment files here to my office.

[Back outside the lockers]

Doug - So what did they do to you?

[Donald shakes his head in disgust]

Joey - Hey! You Donald?

Donald - Yeah

Joey - Hi! I'm Joey can you get me into the P.A.?

[The school alcove - students put a big banner up saying "The Truth is a Virus"]

Cresswood - That's the end of the music in The Alcove and from now on any student found defacing school property will be expelled.

[Donald and Joey put a mix tape of Deaver squirming in conversation with Happy Harry Hardon]

Cresswood - What's happening? What's going on?

Murdock - It's Mr Deaver!

[In the P.A. control room]

Mr Moore - It won't stop, they're in the speaker system.

Cresswood - Shut it off, shut off the whole system.

Mr Moore - We can't!

Cresswood - Shut down the whole school!

[Shep Sheppard roles up outside Hubert Humphrey High where Mazz lingers]

Mazz - Hey you! Check this out, you're the TV guy right? Hey you want to interview me, hey because I listened the first night he was on, I'm like a mate of his. You know I used to go here, but they chucked me out for no reason you know. [Mazz throws coloured smoke bomb's on the ground] Hey check it out, school colours you know, instant prep. rally.

Shep Sheppard - [motioning with the camera] Go down on him

Mazz - Jesus the smog's getting worse and worse in this town. [Murdock grabs Mazz and takes him to Cresswood's office] Hey....!

Shep Sheppard - Okay great! This is Shep Sheppard reporting live from deep in the smoke at Humphrey High.

[Cresswood's office]

Murdock - Sit down.

Mazz - So anybody mind if I smoke?

Cresswood - You do understand that you're expelled Mr Mazzilli?

Mazz - That's cool.

Cresswood - I can quite legally expel you.

Mazz - Yo! Loretta, I'm already expelled. Don't you remember? You booted me out the first week for dress code.

Cresswood - Then you're trespassing. How would you like to be arrested?

Mazz - Well that's cool too, 'cos I told them cameras to wait. I've got a lot to tell them you know?

Cresswood - And who's going to believe you, tell me who's going to believe you?

Mazz - Maybe Harry might.

[Nora pulls Mark into the Clayroom]

Nora - It's cool, it's safe. Guess what I heard?

Mark - What?

Nora - That tall snob Paige Woodward, she burned up all her shit last night right after you suggested it, in her kitchen! Oh her precious pearls were flying like bullets, her Dad was unthrilled.

Mark - This is out of control.

Nora - Yeess!

[An announcement come over the P.A. that there will be an emergency P.T.A. meeting that evening]

Mark - That's it, it's over. I just hope it isn't too late.

Nora - Mark!

Mark - Just leave me alone okay, please!

[Mark walks off Shep stops two kids walking behind him]

Kid 1 - [raps] I'm a d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, dealer,

Kid 2 - and I really d,d,don't give a damn

Shep - Have you guys listened to the Hard Harry show

Kid 1 - No we would never listen to trash like that

Kid 2 - He's obscene dude. Yo Mum

Kid 1 - [raps] I'm a d, d, d, d, d, d, d, d, dealer.

[Mark goes to collect his post only to see the police get there just before him]

Reporter #2 - Is that box registered to any name?

Postal Clerk - Yes of course that box is registered to a name, but I can't give it out to you.

Detective Lewis - [Holding up his badge] But you can to me.

Postal Clerk - Yes sir I can give it to you. I'll give it to you instantly. That box is registered to a Mr. Charles U. Farly, 112 Crescent.

Reporter #2 - But that's the address of the school.

Detective Lewis - Chuck You Farly, ha ha.

[The Hunter dining table, watching the news about Paige setting of an explosion in her kitchen]

Marla - Are you okay Mark?

Mark - Don't worry Mum. I'm not going to blow up the kitchen.

Marla - Very funny darling.

Brian - Listen to this. Mark have you ever even listened to this character?

Mark - No, not exactly listened.

Brain - Well he's knocking the best school in the district and apparently he goes there.

Mark - Dad it's not exactly the best school in the district. There are some problems with it.

Brian - You don't rock the boat especially when you're sitting in it. Anyway we should get going, I don't want to be late. [gets up and exits]

Marla - Come on Mark it's your father's big meeting.

[The PTA. meeting]

Cresswood - Good evening on behalf of myself and the staff at Hubert Humphrey High I wish to thank you for turning out in such numbers, I congratulate you on your concern. Now before we begin I would like to introduce our new school commissioner, fresh from several educational triumphs on the east coast, Brian Hunter. Before I introduce the rest of our speakers for this evening..

PTA. Parent #1 - Excuse me Mrs Cresswood, can we just skip the preliminaries and find out what you're doing about all this.

Cresswood - Well when I introduce Mr Deaver he'll talk about our twenty four hour hotline..

PTA. Parent #1 - Wait a minute, the kids who need the most help like those with drug problems, they don't go in for stuff like that.

PTA. Parent #2 - I know kids. I mean they just wanna be happy.

Cresswood - Would you please sit down...

PTA. Parent #3 - Frankly, this radio person is the whole problem. Are we going to allow this guy to be heard by anyone who turns a dial.

Cresswood - Please one at a time

PTA. Parent #4 - Look I work with teenage gangs in the city I say we go after this guy. Remove him physically..

PTA. Parent #5 - Save us the same old retoric. When are you going to find this guy?

Cresswood - Please, please, we can't have this kind of meeting.

Brian Hunter - [he stands and puts his hands in the air] Please sit down, you'll all be heard I promise.

[Paige walks in]

Cresswood - Brian, it's my meeting I know what I'm doing.

[Paige makes her way down the stairs and stands at the front]

Paige - My name is Paige Woodward and I have something to say to you people. People are saying that Harry is introducing bad things and encouraging bad things. But it seems to me that these things were already here....

Cresswood - [Interupting] Would you please go and sit.

Paige - My god why don't you people listen? He's trying to tell you something is wrong with this school. Half the people that are here are on a probation of some kind. We are all really scared to be who we really are. I am not perfect. I've just been going through the motions of being perfect, and inside I'm screaming.

Cresswood - Paige, you were a model student.

[Paige starts back up the stairs]

PTA. Parent #6 - Let's hear what she has to say..

Cress wood - Paige come back here, come back this instant.

Brian - We want to hear what you have to say.

[Paige walks out to where the press are waiting]

Reporter #2 - Do you know who he is? Are you prepared to do anything he says?

Paige - [Shouting into the camera] Can you hear me? Don't listen to them, don't listen to any of them, stay on, stay hard!

Reporter #2 - Are you on drugs?

Paige - [puts two fingers up in the front of the camera] Arrrgh. Talk Hard. Arrrrrgh.

Mark - I've got a lot of homework, I'm gonna take off, alright?

Marla - Mark, I know why your really going home. Cause you wanna listen to that show tonight don't you?

[I've got a minature secret camera by Peter Murphy plays]

[Best reception place, Nora's smoking and Paige runs past]

Nora - Yo paige [puts thumbs up]

[Paige smiles and makes boxing gesture]

[Nora goes to Mark's house where she finds him burning his Happy Harry Hardon letters]

Nora - Hi! What are you doing? You having fun?

Mark - Yeah.

Nora - Hey, look I took some of these off the wall for you. I mistakenly thought you might want them.

Mark - Thanks.

Nora - So I guess you're not going on tonight.

Mark - Brilliant.

Nora - Is this all just a game to you. You know you can't just shout fire in a theatre and then walk out. You have a responsibility for the people who believe in you. What is this? C'mon say something, say anything. Open your mouth and say get the hell out of here bitch.

Mark - I can't.

Nora - You can't what?

Mark - I can't talk.

Nora - Sure you can talk.

Mark - I can't talk to you.

[Goes inside and switches on radio transmitter]

Happy Harry Hardon - I got a letter from this guy who's got a problem, he can't talk. I mean he can talk, but never when he wants to, not to girls, not to people.

[Brian and Marla open the front door to their house, come in and switch on the radio]

Brian - I can't believe it's as bad as they say.

Happy Harry Hardon - He just opened up his mouth and nothing came out. And this jerk finds somebody that he likes, which is probably the worst thing that can happen to a person who can't talk. So I don't know what to tell this guy because lately every time I give advice the fit hits the shan. So I don't know, maybe the best thing to do is just turn around and face the music and try to talk. [He looks round to where Nora was standing but she has gone]

[Marla knocks on the door, Mark jumps up and hurriedly switches his radio equipment off and makes it look less conspicuous]

Marla - Mark!

Mark - Coming.

Marla - Mark it's just us. I wanna come in for a minute.

Mark - Yeah, just give me a second here, two seconds.

Brian - Mark unlock the door.

Marla - Mark can you hear us?

Mark - Yes, yes.

Marla - We wanna come in.

Brian - We know you're in there. Open the god damn door.

Mark - On my way.

[Mark opens the door]

Brian - Your mother and I have been out there for five minutes, what the hell are you doing in there?

Mark - I was just reading.

Marla - Oh c'mon Mark we heard you, we heard you talking alright?

Mark - I was reading aloud.

Brian - Oh c'mon do you really expect us to believe that?

Mark - Okay.... I'll tell you the truth.

Nora - [pops up from behind the sofa] He was talking to me. Hi. erm. I'm Nora Diniro. [shakes Marla's and Brian's hands]

Marla - Nice to meet you, how do you do?

Nora - I was afraid you would be mad at me for disturbing Mark's homework.

Marla - You don't know how happy we are to meet you.

Nora - Listen I got to go, but it was really nice to have met you, bye Mark.

Marla - No, you don't have to go. Mark she doesn't have to go.

Nora - Bye now, see you tomorrow.

[Nora exits]

Brian - You've been a bad dog haven't you. [pushing Mark softly] You know for a second there we thought you were that crazy DJ character?

Mark - Maybe he's not that crazy Dad.

Brian - Right! Very funny. Go get her, go on. [Brian and Marla exit] That's my idea of homework.

Marla - Yeah.

[Mark closes the door, locks it and switches the radio equipment back on]

Happy Harry Hardon - Sorry about that folks, technical difficulties. [crowd cheers] Happens all the time in professional radio. Let's see who we have out there tonight huh? The usual band of teenage malcontents? I certainly hope so, because Happy Harry Hardon is feeling kind of rude tonight. [Plays fart sound for a couple of seconds]

[In the lounge Brian switches off the radio]

Brian - That little leech.

Marla - Like father, like son.

[In the cellar]

Happy Harry Hardon - Oh I feel good, damn [Happy Harry Hardon takes of his T-Shirt] Well, well, well, well. The big news! The emergency PTA meeting to discuss yours truly. Yes all the professionals have come out to talk about little old me and now they've all run home to tune in and listen to what they've all been talking about. They say that I am dillusioned, demented, deranged well guess what I say.

Crowd - SO BE IT!

Happy Harry Hardon - I say rise up in the cafeterias and stab them with your plastic forks. I say flogging and flactuance for Mrs Cresswood, she gets a hundred lashes for every kid she's hounded out of that fucking place. I say down with all guidance councillors, make them work for a living. I can't stay away from this man. Oh I got to give him another call. Here I come Deave.

Police Dispatcher - Hotline. Believe it or not we care.

Happy Harry Hardon - Believe it or not this is Happy Harry Hardon and I would like the pleasure of speaking with Mr Deaver.

Police Dispatcher - Just a moment, I'll see if he's available.

Happy Harry Hardon - I love it, the bitch has put me on hold! I'm waiting for you. You can run, but you can not hide Mr Deaver. Waiting for the Deave.

Deaver - Hello my young friend.

Happy Harry Hardon - You're in on it right Mr Deaver?

Deaver - It's all over son, this phone call has been traced and whoever you are, you're history.

Happy Harry Hardon - Well, so be it, alleuelya. [lies back in his chair]

[Mazz stands and looks desperately at people]

Mazz - Don't just sit there man, run!

[Police cars stop outside a house]

Happy Harry Hardon - Don't worry about me, I'm alright. You see I bet what's happening out there is that the police are busting some old couple who have been unknowingly supplying me with my phone fees.

Policeman - There's a phone line coming into the shed here. [opens shed door] There's the transmitter. Which means the receiver could be any house within a thousand yards of here.

Happy Harry Hardon - I am everywhere. I am inside each and every single one of you. Just look in and I will be there waving out at ya, naked wearing only a cock ring, heh, heh, heh. Wow, time flies when you're on the run. I'm gonna cut out now with this unusual song I'm dedicating to an unusual person who makes me feel kind of unusual.

[Why Can't I Fall In Love by Ivan Neville plays]

[Mark goes out and sees Nora moving to the music]

Nora - It's okay you don't have to talk, you don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything, unless you want to.

Mark - You're so different. [Nora takes her top off] I mean you're so fearless. I wish I could be like you.

Nora - You are.

Mark - I wish I could say things to you.

Nora - You do.

Mark - Everything's so strange.

Nora - Yeah.

Mark - Maybe we're just crazy.

Nora - So be it.

[Stare at each other moving to the music and as the music reaches the climax part a police car pulls up nearby]

Nora - It's the cops!

Mark - It's okay. I think they're just dropping in on my neighbour.

Nora - So are you really wearing a cock ring.

Mark - Never even seen one.

Nora - Oh yeah.

Mark - Yeah, I read about them in a magazine.

Nora - Maybe I don't believe you. [Tries to unzip Mark's jeans]

Mark - I swear, what are you doing. I have neighbours, stop!

Nora - So you can talk when you want to.

Mark - Yes I can.

Nora - Maybe we should pause for first stage personal identification. I got to go.

[The next day outside Hubert Humphrey]

Shep Sheppard - It's three days since the death of Malcolm Kaiser and state and local officials still have little idea of the identity of this so called Happy Harry Hardon, though many are convinced he is a student at this school.

[Mark approaches Nora at the school gates]

Nora - Hi.

Mark - Are you okay?

Nora - Yeah, are you?

Mark - Yeah.

[After a beautiful couple of stalled attempts to kiss each other, their lips finally meet, they walk along together and pass by writing on the lawn and the banner]

Nora - This is deep your message is out there. "The Truth Is A Virus"

Mark - Oh God! Jesus, this whole thing is making me ill.

Nora - Mark what is with you?

Mark - Look Nora last night was a mistake, I'm not going on any more, that's it, it's over, that's it.

Nora - But your so close.

Mark - Close to what.

Nora - To getting your message across.

Mark - This is my life you're screwing around with here you know.

Nora - Not any more it isn't, this is everyone's life. Mark you can't leave it like this, people are confused.

Mark - So am I.

Nora - Mark!

Mark - The things fucked up, it's crazy!

Nora - No, no the world is fucked up just like you said. Don't you see that you're the voice, you're the voice you were waiting for.

Mark - You're completely nuts. [Mark runs off]

Nora - Yeah, well you make me nuts.

[Murdock scours the school to find Cresswood's so called troubled students]

Murdock - Excuse me, [talks to Janie] young lady would you come along with us, Donald come along, Miss Deniro come along with us please,

Nora - What are we being busted for?

Murdock - Well we'll check your files and see. [to another student] Come along.

[Cresswood's office]

Cresswood [On the phone to Brian Hunter] - No Brian everything is under control. I've just ordered psychiatric evaluations on a couple of the key trouble makers. I can do what ever I like, it's my school, Commissioner. No you're not coming over here, you'll only upset me more good bye! [Cresswood turns her head to her key trouble makers] Well shall we have a look at these files, or shall we discuss the identity of our DJ friend.

[Murdock turns off a Happy Harry Hardon tape in The Alcove]

Murdock - Don't push me people, you understand that. [People start making funny noises behind him]

Cheryl - They got forced to take me back.

[Mazz appears to put some graffiti on the wall]

Murdock - Where're you going?

Mazz - I'm putting this up.

Murdock - You're not putting anything up. You're not supposed to be here. [Murdock pushes Mazz]

Mazz - Hey, hey! Murdock you're getting so touchy.

Murdock - Your not supposed to be here. [Murdock attacks Mazz]

[Jan & Cresswood rush over]

Jan - Stop, that's enough. What's wrong with you? He was beating a student. What's wrong with this school?

Cresswood - Control yourself.

Jan - I will not. I want answers.

Cresswood - Or suffer the consequences.

Jan - What are you talking about.

Cresswood - I'm talking about your dismissal.

[Outside the lockers]

Mark - Nora, I've been looking all over for you. I just wanted to apologise for saying you were nuts.

Nora - Forget it. Look [They both turn to the field with the F.C.C. vans] F.C.C. you know what that means?

Mark - Yeah, it means Federal Communication Commission. They can drive around and triangulate wherever the hell a radio signals coming from. I know exactly what it means.

Nora - Yeah, so fuck it right. I mean it's over. Frankly I don't even give a shit.

Mark - What the hell is wrong?

Nora - I just got expelled.

Mark - What the hell are you talking about?

Nora - I'm failing Math.

Mark - They can't kick you out for that.

Nora - I've been cutting lessons.

Mark - Well that just deserves a suspension, right?

Nora - Well then I said "Fuck You" to Cresswood. You should have seen her face, she was so happy she said "Thank You"

Mark - This school sucks. Jesus Christ!

Nora - This is why I don't even care anymore. Look just leave it alone. There's nothing you can do about it. [Nora runs off]

[Mark runs after Nora, Jan stops him]

Jan - Hunter! Hunter wait a minute. I just wanted to say good bye and good luck.

Mark - Why?

Jan - I was fired, I made a mistake. I thought I could change things, I forgot you don't rock the boat.

Mark - Yeah especially when you're in it.

Jan - Hey, chin up.

[Staff room]

Brian - Loretta what the hell is going on here.

Cresswood - It's the trouble makers, you can't run a top school with trouble makers in the mix.

Brian - Okay, so what exactly is a trouble maker.

Cresswood - Someone who has no interest in education.

Brian - Oh c'mon that includes every teenager I know.

Cresswood - Can't you understand that nothing is more important than a good education.

Brian - Except for the basic right to it.

Cresswood - The point is I have the highest S.A.T. scores in the state.

Brian - Yeah but how.

Cresswood - I stand by my record.

[Jan sneaks into Cresswood's room while she is out, opens up the filing cabinet and after flicking through a couple of files takes out the one marked Luis Chavez]

[The School Field, a limousine pulls up and Watts get out]

Shep Sheppard - Mr. Watts, Shep Sheppard Channel Six news here.

Watts - Good evening.

Shep Sheppard - How does Washington intend to deal with this situation.

Watts - We at the F.C.C. feel that democracy is about protecting the rights of the ordinary citizen. Unregulated radio would result in programming of the lowest common denominator, the rule of the mob. [Watts looks round to see one of his F.C.C. vans has picked up some graffiti] This is vandalism, not free expression.

[Back in the Hunter's cellar Mark starts picking up and selecting bits of his equipment while everyone gathers on the school field to listen to the show]

Janie - Hey, NBC's here and if he goes on they're gonna rebroadcast nationally.

Janie's boyfriend - There's no way he'll go on, it's too risky!

Janie - Oh god, come on

[Mark solders something]

[Someone throws firecrackers on the floor, Heretic by Soundgarden plays and some students hang a dummy that says Cresswood on it]

Mazz - Okay everybody, ten seconds to Happy Harry Hardon. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Harrrrrry! C'mon we're right here waiting for you right now.

[Mark turns up at Nora's house]

Mark - Hi.

Nora - Hi.

Mark - Are you okay?

Nora - Yeah, fine, great, never been better.

Mark - We started something here.

Nora - We!

Mark - Alright I started, but now I need your help to finish it. Nora I need you.

Nora - Well it's about time.

Mark - I've got something to show you.

Nora - Is it bigger than a baby's arm.

Mark - No it's outside. [Mark shows Nora his converted radio jeep]

Nora - Oh wow.

Mark - It's my Mums jeep she kind of loaned it to me.

Nora - Who did all this?

Mark - Me and radio shack. You have driven a jeep before right?

[Nora drives, Mark shouts loud and switches on the radio transmitter, the crowd screams as Concrete Blonde play on the radio and the F.C.C. vans go off in search of Happy Harry Hardon]

Mr. Watts - Y'know personally I'd hoped that we'd get to hear from him a little bit before they nab him it will be interesting to see how hard he is then.

[Mark puts tape of Hello Dad song in, they both sing along with it]

Happy Harry Hardon - Hello Dad we're going to jail.

Nora - Say hi to Mom. ooooooh

Happy Harry Hardon - Hi folks! It seems we have a new listener tonight. Mr Watts of the FCC. (I've never person on yours too I know!) Hi Arthur thanks for coming out.

Watts - Well thank you for coming out.

Happy Harry Hardon - Imagine a fucking political hag being in charge of free speech in America. I bet Watts was the guy who took names at high school when the teacher was absent.

Watts - This is the problem with free speech. Would you cut that thing, cut it off. Would you just turn the damn thing off. [talks on phone] He's obviously moving just pull everything over on wheels.

Happy Harry Hardon - Welcome to radio free America. America's ready, I'm ready. I want a million voices crying out in the wilderness. Jesus let's get serious. Maybe Mr. Watts can shed some light no the mysterious disappearances of some of our students. Luis Chavez age fifteen, legally kicked out on September 26th. Arthur Washington age sixteen, expelled September 27th.

Cresswood - So what does this prove, not everyone goes to college.

Murdock -Right.

Jan - Mr. Hunter I think you should be aware of something. After the school received the money from the government for every enrolled student, Mrs Cresswood would then proceed to weed out those she felt were undesirable.

Cresswood - Nonsense she doesn't know what she's talking about.

Jan - In the first weeks you flagged all the pupils with low S.A.T. scores and started files on them. Why?

Cresswood - What are you doing with school property?

Brian - She asked you why.

Jan - For extra tutoring.

Brian - You expelled over twenty students in the first thirty days of school.

Jan - And how many others did you harass into dropping out.

Brian - And you kept the expelled students names on the rolls that's illegal.

Cresswood - The money went to the school, it was all for the good of the school.

Jan - Those kids had rights.

Cresswood - They were losers.

Murdock - Trouble makers.

Deaver - They're just kids.

Cresswood - I don't regret my policy.

Brian - It's criminal and I'm suspending you.

Cresswood - You can't do that.

Brian - Oh I'm afraid I just did.

[Nora hits a bump trying to avoid the F.C.C. vans as she goes off road near the school grounds]

Mark - Oh Jesus my harmoniser.

Nora - Forget it, hold on I've got to get us out off here.

Mark - I need that to disguise my voice.

Nora - Well give me a minute maybe we can fix it.

Mark - [Looks at the people gathered at the school] Jesus look at this. Fuck it, I'm going on with out it.

Nora - No, I think I got it.

Mark - Okay this is really me now, no more hiding. Listen we're all worried, we're all in pain, that just comes with having eyes with having ears, but just remember one thing it can't get any worse, it can only get better. I mean high school is the bottom. Being a teenager sucks, but that's the point, surviving it is the whole point. Quitting is not going to make you stronger, living will. So just hang on and hang in there. You know I know all about the hating and the sneering, I'm a member of the why bother generation myself. But why did I bother coming out here tonight and why did you? I mean it's time, it begins with us not with politicians, the experts or the teachers, but with us, with you and with me, the ones who need it most. I believe with everything that's in me that the whole world is begging for healing, even the trees and the earth its self are crying out for it, you can hear it everywhere. It's the same kind of healing I desperately needed and finally feel has begun with you. [A police chopper appears over head, and Nora drives the jeep again, Mark is still stood up shouting] Everyone mix it up, it's not game over yet, it's just the beginning, but it's up to you. I'm calling for every kid to seize the air. Steal it, it belongs to you. Speak out, they can't stop you. Find your voice and use it. Keep this going. Pick a name, go on air. It's your life, take charge of it. Do it, try it, try anything. Spill your guts out and say shit and fuck a million times if you want to, but you decide. Fill the air, steal it. Keep the air alive...

[The jeap stops next to the crowds of people and Watts breaks the antenna. Mark and Nora are led down from the jeap and into a police van, everyone calls out to Mark and as he turns around for one final glance at the crowds of people he pauses]

Mark - TALK HARD!!!!

[Everybody cheers and disband as the police van is driven away]