(1) A Sunday school teacher asked the children just
before she dismissed them to go to church,"And why
is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie
replied,"Because people are sleeping."
(2) A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A
small child replied:"They couldn't get a
baby-sitter."
(3) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After
explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and
thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered,"Thou
shall not kill."
(4) A teacher asked her students if they could use
the words 'defeat, defense, and detail' in a
sentence. Little Johnny was a smarty, so he answered
with, " De feet of de dog went over de fence before
de tail."
(5) At Sunday School they were teaching how God
created everything, including human beings. Little
Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him
how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later
in the week his mother noticed him lying down as
though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the
matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
(6) A very dirty little fellow came in from playing
in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready
to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are
you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was
right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother
wouldn't recognize me!"
(7) A 7-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in
their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 7-year old.
"I think it's about time we started swearing." The
4-year old nods his head in approval. "When we go
downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say "hell", an
you say "ass", OK?" The 4-year old agrees with
enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and
asks the 7-year old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw, hell mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."WHACK!!
He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the floor,
got up and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. The
mother looked at the 4-year old and asked with a
stern voice, "and what do YOU want for breakfast,
young man?" "I don't know", he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."
(8) A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all
parents on the first day of school: "If you promise
not to believe everything your child says happens at
school, I'll promise not to believe everything he
says happens at home."
