7-8-00
Joke of the day:
A new employee is hired at the "Tickle Me Elmo" factory. & the personnel manager explains her duties and tells her to report to work the following day promptly at 8:00 am
The next day at 8:45 am there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up.
The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmo's are backed up all over the place.
At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically.
After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday....
Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Pet Peeve or Strange Idea of the day:
Why do people bring 60+ items into the "20 items or less" checkout line? The ones who do this are the same ones who have the audacity to complain that I (or any cashier ringing them) am sooooo slow. Hmmmm....well maybe if you read the sign that says "20 items or less" and noticed that the counter space for these "Speedy Checkout" lanes is very limited, you would know why we are slow!
Quote of the day:
"Evil around every corner....be careful not to step in any."
Minsc - Baldur's Gate
Rule of the day:
Addendum to Murphy's Law - You never run out of things that can go wrong.
Song Lyric Snippet of the day:
"Your uncle's cousin's best friend's sister's daughter introduced
me.
She said her name's Lucy.
I said my name's Mr. Gucci."
Public Humilation - She's Normal
Trivia of the day:
Baseball cards have been around since 1886. Modern cards, with high-resolution color photographs on the front and player statistics on the back, date from 1953. The photos are taken in the spring, with and without team caps, just in case the player is traded to another team. (In the same spirit, Mafia trading cards are printed in ink that's easy to rub out, just in case that's what happens to the subject.)