But, many things happened in 1997 that caused me to spend many hours online, looking for hope, help and support. It was then, that I suffered three consecutive miscarriages, all within a short time of comfirming my pregnancies. This in itself is pretty miraculous, considering I had a tubal ligation in November 1991. I lost my Precious Angel Anna on March 24, Ryan on June 24 and Conrad on July 28, all 1997.

It happened again. I lost another precious child. This little miracle was named Susan in memory of my sister who went to be with the Lord in 2002. I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost Susan on December 12, 2002. To read more about this, my newest angel, please visit her special page.

I have written out my thoughts during this very difficult time. If you would like to read them, please visit my Journal of Thoughts

With my search, I have found so much support and comfort online, that I hope to be able to offer support to someone else. If I can be of help to anyone, please email me.

My Precious Angels

In memory of you,
My Precious Little Babes
I did not get to hold you
Or look into your face.

So quickly you were taken
Before I could feel your touch.
I did not know it was possible
To hurt so very much.

The pain that I have felt
Is more than one should bare.
But, I have the joy of knowing,
In Heaven, I'll hold you there.

Each time I see a baby
I stop and think of you.
The tears well up again
For the days were just so few.

The days with you inside
Weren't long enough for me.
My heart aches to hold you,
One day in Heaven that will be.

The thought that keeps me going
Is one day we will share
That very special moment
Of holding each other up "There"

Dedicated to my babies that I lost and miss so very much.
(© 1997-2006 - Patricia Stevens)

I have also found comfort in the following books:

"I'll Hold You In Heaven" by Jack Hayford. This can be found in most Christian book stores. The publisher is Regal Books.

"Free to Grieve" by Maureen Rank. This is also found in most Christian book stores. The publisher for this book is Bethany House.

"A Time To Be Born" by Julie Martin. This is also found in most Christian book stores. The publisher for this book is Thomas Nelson Publishers.

I also have found support through a local chapter of "SHARE" you can contact them tollfree at 1-800-821-6819

I have met some wonderful women online. We share a common bond and one I wouldn't wish on any one. We have all lost a baby, and in many cases, more than one baby. Here are a couple of online support groups. They are both Christian groups helping women through one of the most tramadic events in her life. To find out more information about either group, stop by their web sites atBereaved Moms Share andOver The Rainbow Perinatal Support Group

I have found support and comfort from the following links.

Hannah's Prayer A wonderful Christian site dedicated to helping families through the grief of a loss. It is also a wonderful site for anyone that is suffering with infertility.

SHARE - Touching Lives. Healing Hearts. Giving Hope

M.I.S.S. (Mothers In Sympathy and Support)

A Place to Remember - Uplifting support materials and resources for those who have been touched by a crisis in pregnancy or the death of a baby

Multiple Miscarriage Support

Miscarriage Manual - A primary guide for parents who have recently experienced the death of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or other perinatal loss.

Hygeia.org is an Online Journal for Pregnancy and Neonatal Loss is an Internet Website committed and devoted to documenting and helping heal the grieving and other aspects of loss related to pregnancy wastage and demise of newborn infants and children, due to any cause.

Grief in a Family Context

Some possible reasons for miscarriage and testing available.

INCIID Ineractive Infertility Bulletin Boards...

Immune Issues and Reproductive Failure

For those who have decided to try again, below are some sites with information that you may find helpful.

Pregnancy.org By Parents for Parents

Home Pregnancy Test HCG Levels & Mini-FAQ