My own experience of becoming a STEP PARENT and joining an existing family with children was that Celia had authority over her children and she had been disciplining them long before I the STEP PARENT came along.
In situations where discipline is needed I have found it better to hold back and allow Celia to discipline her children, even if I have been tempted to "help".
I find that it is better to be a friend to my STEP CHILDREN, rather than in their eyes being an extra person who disciplines them.
I aim to be their friend, who listens to them, talks with them, shares a joke and a laugh with them, someone who paints with them, or who makes models with them.
When I can become their friend and gain their trust I can then encourage them to do what Celia wants them to do.
I can say things like "Go on girls take those books upstairs, your Mum would like that" ....I find that this works, to gently encourage them to do the things that Mum has asked them to do, but without nagging them.
Being a friend is the best way, it is easier for everyone and it makes a happy home and happy children.
