STRAY CATS

strict unbending rules for dealing with them

1. Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with a little milk.
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their
permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and
cuddled unecessarily.
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and
cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed
inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at
certain times.
10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on
days ending in "y".
11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up
on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen
claws on the really good furniture.
13. Stray cats may be permitted on furniture but must sharpen
claws on new £59.99($98) sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three
perches.
14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the
dirt.
15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the
three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh n Sweet
kitty litter.
16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded
litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head
room.
17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old
blanket.
21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed
with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except
at the foot.
24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under
the covers.

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cat pictures updated 10/16/98
new cat pictures updated 12/26/98
cat pictures
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Jake's cat pictures
more Jake pictures
what to do with a straycat :)
Cats 1999

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