 | I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. |
| The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. |
| I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. |
| I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. |
| I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. |
| I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it. |
| I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house
when I am about to throw up. |
| I will not throw up in the car. |
| I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. |
| I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop. |
| Kitty box crunchies are not food. |
| I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing. |
| The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. |
| I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them. |
| I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I
am hemorrhaging. |
| When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining
outside. |
| We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. |
| I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. |
| The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps. |
| My head does not belong in the refrigerator. |
| I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car
registration. |
