Newsgroups: alt.pets.hamsters
Subject: alt.pets.hamsters FAQ 3 of 3
Followup-To: alt.pets.hamsters
Summary: Part 3 (of 3) of FAQ for alt.pets.hamsters newsgroup.
Archive-name: pets/hamsters-faq/part1
Last-Modified: June 10, 1997
Version: 4-3
Here's Part Three of the alt.pets.hamsters FAQ, posted on an
irregular basis along with Part One and Part Two.
The latest version of the FAQ (non-HTML) is available at:
http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~ax611/
Suggestions/comments/additions/corrections should be posted to
alt.pets.hamsters or e-mailed to glengower@ottawa.com
**If your hamster is sick and you need help, I cannot help you.
Talk to a vet or to your local pet store.**
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Unless otherwise stated, everything in this FAQ has been taken
from messages in the alt.pets.hamsters newsgroup, or from my own
mailbox. Whenever possible, information from publications has
been acknowledged, with original authors credited. Standard
disclaimers apply.
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See PART ONE for the Table of Contents.
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**c01: Are there any good hamster books?
Yes. This book list can be considered a partial
bibliography of this FAQ. I'd like to credit all writers whose
information has been borrowed for this FAQ, and would appreciate
help in tracking down sources. (*) denotes a fictional book.
* Baker, Alan. BENJAMIN BOUNCES BACK. Andre Deustch (pub),
1983.
* Banks, Lynn Reid. I, HOUDINI: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A SELF-
EDUCATED HAMSTER, (illustrated by Terry Riley). New York:
Doubleday, 1978.
Barrie, A. A STEP BY STEP BOOK ABOUT HAMSTERS. New Jersey:
TFH Publications, Inc., 1987.
Barrie, A. HAMSTERS AS A NEW PET. New Jersey: TFH
Publications, Inc.
* Blegvad, L. THE GREAT HAMSTER HUNT. Harcourt, Brace &
World, 1969.
* Brandenberg, Franz. THE HIT OF THE PARTY. Greenwill Books,
1985.
Fritzsche, H. HAMSTERS. New York: Barron's Educational
Series, Inc., 1982.
* Gilman and DeCandido, eds. OTHERWERE. Ace Publishing,
1996.
Henwod, C. A STEP BY STEP BOOK ABOUT DWARF HAMSTERS. New
Jersy: TFH Publications, Inc.
INTERPET GUIDE TO GERBILS & HAMPSTERS [sic]. London:
Salamander Books.
* King, Clive. HAMID OF ALEPPO, MAX, and MAX PRESENTS.
Illustrated by Giovannetti. New York: Atheneum, 1997.
* Lingard, Joan and Jan Lewis. CAN YOU FIND SAMMY THE
HAMSTER? Walker Books, 1990.
Marianne Mays. THE PROPER CARE OF HAMSTERS.
McKay, J. THE NEW HAMSTER HANDBOOK. United Kingdom.
Ostrow, Marshall. BREEDING HAMSTERS. New Jersey: TFH
Publications, Inc., 1990.
* Murschetz, Luis. A HAMSTER'S JOURNEY.
* Pouyanne, Resie and Gerda Muller. DODO: LE PETIT HAMSTER.
Gautier-Languereau.
Roberts, M.F. HAMSTERS. New Jersey: TFH Publications, Inc.,
1987.
Vieira, Marcio Infante. HAMSTER CRIACAO E TREINAMENTO.
Brazil: Press Grafic, 1984.
Books I need more information on:
Three illustrated works of fiction about hamsters;
"The Hamster Opera", "The Hamster History of Britain",
and "The Hamster Ballet."
#c02: What hamsters play in professional sports?
None.
**c03: What movies have hamsters appeared in?
HouseGuest: The character played by Sinbad has a hamster
named Shaft. Sinbad brings it to the airport, lets it loose, and
screams that there's a rat on the loose. A little girl comes and
picks up the hamster.
The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane: A 1977 film
featuring a 15-year-old Jodie Foster playing a girl who is living
alone with her hamster called Gordon. The hamster eventually
gets killed by a burning cigarette. 8-(
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: This reference ("The
French Taunter") was e-mailed to me by two different people on
the same week! King Arthur and his knights of the round table
are on a quest for the Holy Grail, and they come across a castle
on their travels. King Arthur asks if the Frenchman's master
would like to join them in their search for the Holy Grail. The
Frenchman replies that they already got one, and when Arthur asks
to see it, is denied, Arthur threatens to take the castle by
force, and then the Frenchman begins his taunt...
Frenchman: "You don't frighten us, you English pig-dog, go and
boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person, I blow my nose at you,
so called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English Kin-ig-its
(PPBBBSSSSsss! <raspberry>)
Arthur: "What a strange person"
Frenchman: "I don't want to talk to you no more, you
empty-headed, food-trough water, I fart in your general
direction, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of
eldeberries!"
Arthur: "Is there someone else I can talk to?"
Frenchman: "No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"
The Nutty Professor (1996): In the opening scene, thousands
of hamsters who escaped from the lab roam the university campus
where the prfessor works doing various stunts. They were being
tested in the development of a miracle weight loss drug.
Twelve Monkeys (1996): Bruce Willis is being tested in a
medical lab, and a hamster can be seen in sihouette on a wheel
behind him. (Trivia: the hamster's name was Brownie. The person
who sent in this information has a friend in New York who
supplies and trains animals for movies and TV, and supplied
Brownie and another hamster named Blondie for the film.)
**c04: What tv shows have hamsters appeared in?
Unfortunately, many references to hamsters on tv are
defamatory, or feature hamsters for a very small period of time.
Hamsters have appeared in:
America's Funniest Home Videos: Hamsters appear on this
show all the time. Videos have included a yawning hamster, a
hamster going under his wheel, and a hamster stuffing Alka-
Seltzer Tablets into its cheeks. (The more I think about that,
the less it's funny.)
Animal Hospital: From the UK, one episode featured the
rescue of a hamster who fell down an external drainpipe, stuck
somewhere near the bottom. Rescuers try frightening it out by
making noise in the pipe, then try blowing it out with compressed
air, then try washing out with water, then decide to take the
pipe apart. The hamster is saved, albeit very wet.
The Cosby Show: Rudy looks after her friend Caroline's pet
hamster, Darren. Rudy gets worried that the hamster is sick
because it's not running on the wheel. (Her dad says: "The
hamster's not sick, he's just smart enough to know that he's not
going anywhere on the wheel.") Eventually the hamster dies,
Rudy feels horrible so Cliff buys "Darren2". Caroline returns
from vacation, and tells Rudy that it's the fifth time one of her
hamsters has died while she's been on vacation.
Dangermouse: an animated British tv program, featured
Dangermouse (a James Bond-esque character) and a not-so-bright
assistant named Penfold (a hamster). They fought a criminal frog
named Silas Greenback.
Hamster TV: We're not sure if this exists any more, but it
was a game show where pets and their owners competed in such
contests as hamster races, tennis ball catching by dogs, and
other competitions.
Kids in the Hall: Two pet hamsters of little kid Gavin
seen in background.
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: References made to hamsters
quite often. The best that I can think of: Andy Richter, the
sidekick, brought a hamster up in a blimp to see if it would
survive the altitude. It did.
Mann & Machine: A doctor dies at a cryogenics lab, and
during the investigation it is dicovered that the doctor has a
hamster named Carlos. Apparantly Carlos was electrocuted at some
point, so the doctor wrapped him in tin foil and froze the
hamster until it could be buried. However, there was a power
outage and the hamster thawed out. Although faint life signs
could be detected, the hamster ended up dying. 8-(
Once Upon a Hamster: A show starring a live hamster
called "Hammy" and his rodent friends - a guinea pig, mouse, and
rat. Originally aired from 1959 to the mid-1980s in Britain and
Canada and on German television in the late 1970s as "Hammy
Hamster". The show is currently being re-made, and can be seen
Friday and Sunday mornings on YTV in Canada. It stars Hammy the
Hamster, along with GP the Guinea Pig, Martha Mouse (who used to
be Matthew Mouse in the original series), Turtle, Wise Old Frog,
and Granny Rabbit with her babies and ducklings and squirrels.
The Partridge Family: One episode of the 1960's show
featured the family hamster having babies.
Pinky & The Brain: One episode of this Steven Spielberg tv
cartoon about two mice (evil Brain and dumb Pinky) trying to take
over the world featured an evil brown hamster that looked like a
mobster trying to take over the world. Pinky & The Brain tried
to stop him.
The Ren & Stimpy Show: (actual quote!)
Dear Dr. Stupid,
I've got a pet hamster called Dennis. When I come home from
school Dennis is always fast asleep in his little house. It's
only at night after I've gone to bed that Dennis comes out, then
he climbs into his wheel and starts to trundle around in it for
hours. Why?
--Gracie Banks, London.
What you have here, Gracie is a very rare hamster called the
Austrian Rotation Hamster. It's a little known fact that at
night the planet Earth starts to slow down. This is because the
planet is solar-powered and after eight hours of nighttime the
Earth is in danger of stopping completely. So every night after
the sun goes down, the Austrian Rotation Hamster wakes up and
starts to run around in its wheel. The combined energy produced
by these hamster wheels all over the world is enough to keep the
Earth spinning all night long!
Star Trek: The Next Generation: in Main Engineering,
there's a cross section diagram of the Enterprise. Some objects
were added for fun to the image, including a porsche, a duck, a
mouse, and a hamster on a wheel (located at the base of the warp
nacelles). Apparantly the hamster and his wheel is the true
source of power for the starship's warp engines. (You'll have to
have a good VCR with a very precise freeze frame to see this...)
Tales of the River Bank (might be also known as Hammy
Hamster - anybody know for sure?): Ran on the BBC from 1960-
1970, with stories narrated by Johnny Morris. Featured a hamster
named Hammie as well as other animals, with all voices performed
by Morris.
The Tracey Ullman Show: In the 1993 special "Tracey Ullman:
A Class Act", some parents who are going broke try to finance
their daughter at a boarding school. One of the sacrifices they
have to make is giving up the holiday turkey. They wondered what
they would have instead - and then looked over at their pet
hamster!
The Wonder Years: A hamster was sucked up in a vacuum
cleaner.
The Young Ones: A tv show out of Britain, it featured a
hamster named Special Patrol Group, a tough and coarse Syrian who
had a mohawk and spoke with a Scottish accent. This show is
being rerun in the United States on Comedy Central.
And finally, "Vier gegen Willi": Translated, it's "Four
against Willi", a game show from West Germany on ARD. Hosted by
German comedian/singer Mike Krueger, two families of four members
each would go head to head in competition, taking part in some
zany contests, many of which included hamster-related events,
such as running around on a giant wheel. It was cancelled after
just a few shows, back in 1987.
**c05: What Simpsons episodes have hamsters appeared in?
"Bart the Genius":
They're running tests on a hamster at Bart's school.
Teacher: And this is Cecile Shapiro.
Cecile: Hi, Bart.
Bart: Cool, hamsters! What are their names?
Cecile: Hamster #1 has been infected with the staphylococcus
virus. Hamster #2 is the control hamster.
Bart: Hi, little control hamster.
Yeacher: I wouldn't get too attached Bart. We're dissecting him
next week.
Happily, Bart causes an explosion during chemistry call and the
hamster escapes during the confusion.
"Dog of Death":
The vet at Springfield Animal Hospital tries, but fails, to
resuscitate a hamster with electrical heart stimulation.
Realizing that the patient is lost, he says, "This is the part of
the job I hate." He takes the hamster and tosses it into a tiny
basketball hoop mounted over the waste basket.
"Duffless"
Lisa attempts to procure a subject for her new experiment at the
pet store, saying, "I want the most intelligent hamster you've
got." The pet store employee reaches into a box of hamsters
under the counter and randomly selects one.
Clerk: Uh, this little guy writes mysteries under the name of J.
D. McGregor.
Lisa: How can a hamster write mysteries?
Clerk: Well, he gets the ending first, then he writes backward.
Lisa: Aw, C'mon.
Clerk: Look, kid, just take him before his mother eats him, all
right?
Lisa thenperforms a lab experiment comparing the intelligence of
Bart to the intelligence of a hamster. The hamster won.
"Saturdays of Thunder":
Opening chalkboard sequence was "Hamsters cannot fly".
"Start Raving Dad":
Meditations on Turning Eight, by Lisa Simpson.
I had a cat named Snowball --
She died! She died!
Mom said she was sleeping --
She lied! She lied!
Why oh why is my cat dead?
Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead?
I had a hamster named Snuffy --
He died...
"Treehouse of Horror III":
On a gravestone in the Pet Cemetery, there's a hamster in an
exercise wheel. The next week at church, Bart walks slowly
towards the Sunday school room and enters.
Teacher: [watching children draw] Good! Very good! Ralph, Jesus
did not have wheels. [sees Bart, gasps] Bart Simpson?
Bart: Yes, ma'am. I'd like to return to your wonderful Sunday
school, please.
Teacher: [nervous] Uh, but Bart, we banned you from Sunday
school. You were happy, we were happy, everybody was happy--
particularly the hamster. [The hamster sees Bart and cowers.]
**c06: What computer games have hamsters appeared in?
Day Of The Tentacle: At some point in the game you get a
hamster, that can be put into a "hamster generator." The hamster
runs in the wheel, producing electricity. A hamster also appears
in the introduction to the game, bringing a message to the hero
asking for help.
Extreme Pinball: Hamsters appear in the "Monkey Mayem"
flipper in this game, and one of the bonuses available is the
"Kilohamster." (Strangely, the hamsters are portrayed with long
rat-like tails.)
Toe Jam & Earl: This Sega Genesis game features hamsters
in hamster balls as the bad guys in the game. Players must avoid
the hamster ball or get squished.
!!c07: Have hamsters appeared in any comics?
Adam: During the week of July 3, 1995, we see Adam's
adventures in buying hamsters for his kids.
Bizarro: Every once in a while hamsters show up as subject
matter in this daily cartoon.
Calvin and Hobbes: One story line featured a hamster named
Huey. I believe one of the book anthologies was actually called
"Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie."
The Adventures of Mayberry Melonpool: a comic series about
a five-foot hamster, three aliens, and a telepathic dog. The
hamster powers a space ship by running in a big wheel. (It's
even online at http://www.users.cts.com/sd/m/mlnpool/)
!!c08: Have hamsters been in the news at all?
TELEVISION NEWS:
CNN reported on a play in New York called "Pets" that had a
hamster named Pea in it. (Can anybody send my more information
about this play??)
CNN also reported that Skippy, a hamster whose owner works
at a New York public relations firm, won first place in the
firm's 1996-1997 football pool. Skippy's owner puts names of
teams on slips of paper, and Skippy chooses teams by walking on
the pieces of paper. Skippy beat out the closes human by about a
20% winning margin, and won $300 in the process.
NEWSPAPERS:
THE WORLD WEEKLY NEWS: August 1, 1995:
_FIREMEN RUSH INTO BURNING HOUSE - TO SAVE PET HAMSTER!_
NICE, France - Heroic firemen risked their lives by rushing into
a blazing home - to save a 5-year-old boy's pet hamster! the
firefighters then used oxygen and a heart massage to revive
Pippi, the beloved pet of little Jean Paul Mannet, who had called
the emergency number. Within minutes, the rejuvenated rodent was
running around on her wheel again, say officials.
In late 1995, the media jumped all over this story:
A young boy was bringing his school's golden hamster Sooty(!)
back to school after the weekend. The driver of his bus told him
he'd have to pay an extra fare for the hamster, which was
actually higher than the boy's fare. He couldn't pay the extra
fare, so ended up walking to school. A complaint was filed with
the bus company, who issued a formal apology, and presented the
hamster with a free bus pass.
THE OTTAWA CITIZEN: February 2, 1996
_MISSING HAMSTER SURVIVES TWO YEARS INSIDE COUCH_
EDMONTON - Given up for dead more than two years ago, it turns
out Hammie the Hamster had carved outa home of his own in the
family sofa the whole time. The resilient rodent lived off
scraps and apparantly snuck out at night to drink from the cat's
water dish. "We lost him two year and four months ago to be
exact," a flabbergasted Cathy Cummings said. "We've moved twice
since then." On Tuesday, Cummings noticed what appeared to be a
urine stain under the sofa and decided to investigate. "I ripped
open the couch and sure enough, it was in there," said Cummings.
MAGAZINES:
Wild About Animals: The May, 1996 edition had a feature on
how to keep hamsters happy, and make their cage interesting.
It's published by the Gong Publishing Hroup, based in the UK.
Der Spiegel: This German magaizine had an article about the
survival problem of hamsters in Germany after the unification, as
well as Saxony's sponsoring of hamster friendly farming.
Aparrantly back in the days before unification, the many hamsters
in the GDR were killed for their fur - but not enough that they
were endangered or anything.
After the unification, agricultural farmers had to become
much more competitive, and increased plowing of grain fields
meant that hamsters didn't have enough to eat. A German wildlife
association made the hamster "animal of the year 1996", and
Saxony is paying farmers money for every acre of farm that they
leave unused. But field hamsters aren't very popular to farmers,
and this program hasn't been too successful.
Felix Hammann, who sent me all of this information, also
tells me that in the eastern part of Germany, there's a saying
about hamsters: "as malicious as a hamster".
**c09: Are there any other strange places where hamsters have
popped up?
CALENDARS:
Janet E. Osborne's hamster Nell was in a picture in the
1996 Humane Society calendar for 1996.
COMMERCIALS:
Budweiser (1997): During the 1997 Super Bowl, a city
suffers a power outage, and an operator in an electricity
building runs down the hall and replaces an empty Bud bottle in
front of a hamster cage. The hamster strats running in the
wheel, and power is restored.
MUSIC VIDEOS:
Counting Crows (1997): One of their videos features a very
quick shot of a hamster running on a metal wheel in a metal cage.
#c10: Are there any songs about hamsters?
Jimmy Buffett: "Vampires, Mummies and the Holy Ghost",
from the album "Fruitcakes":
"I was never ever frightened
By the murderer on our block
He nurtured orchids and raised hamsters
The neighborhood is still in shock"
Sesame Street: From "The Muppet Alphabet Album" (don't ask
why I was listening to this), the song for the letter 'H'
features the verse:
"A hamster ate a hankerchief, a hammer and a hoe;
He ate a hundred herring and a hawk who said hello.
This hamster ate a big hotel, a house, and then a log,
And then he got the hiccups and turned into a hog.
Simon & Garfunkel: In the song "At The Zoo", there's the
line "And hamsters turn on frequently."
Weird Al Yankovik: "Attack of the Radioactive Hamster from
a Planet Near Mars", on the UHF soundtrack.
Weird Al Yankovick: "Harvey the Wonder Hamster":
"Harvey, Harvey, Harvey the Wonder Hamster
He doesn't bite
He doesn't squeal
He just runs around on his hamster wheel
Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey The Wonder Hamster
HEY HARVEY!" etc, etc, etc
I remember reading something about a Smashing Pumpkins
reference to hamsters. Can anybody help? (And no, it's not that
"rat in a cage" lyric.)
Several of the members of this groups have written others:
Tofu H. Puppicus writes:
Mahatma Mahatma shake your little tail
Mahatma Mahatma shake your little tail
Wrinkle up your little nose
Stick it in between your toes
Mahatma Mahatma shake your little tail
(Poppicus adds: "It's not really MY hamster song, because I stole
it from a song bout squirrels, but I like to sing it to my
hamster when he's going to bed at night...")
I have written one about my hamster:
She's a hamster, named Lister.
If I'd brought her to the party she'd have kicked your ass
at twister.
She's Lister, the hamster.
And if you ask me bud, she's a darn good dancer.
I left her standing at my door,
And then she systematically ripped up my floor!!
She's Lister, the hamster.
Ask her any question, and she'll know the answer.
She's a hamster, named Lister.
Better watch what you're doin' or she'll get you, mister!
(Basically it works with anything that rhymes with
hamster/Lister. It's a show tune, originally intended for my
musical about hamsters, but I ran out of ideas.)
David Bolger has penned "The Hamsterdam National Anthem",
which is sung to the tune of the Irish national anthem:
Sunflower Seeds we eat...
We really like them salted...
We also like sugar beat...
But not as much as the seeds.
Chorus:
Oh Hamsterdam, my home,
Where I can freely Ro-am,
How I really like thee,
Oh Hamsterdam, my home.
While running in our balls,
We always run into things,
Especially 'to walls,
Because They are So Hard.
(Chorus)
We always live alone,
Yes, alone in solitude,
We fight with our Hammy neighbours,
Because they are a threat to us....
(Chorus)
**c11: Are there any poems about hamsters?
Yes... and most of them are originals written by readers of
alt.pets.hamsters.
Rebecca Glover sent this poem about her hamster Benji,
warning that "it doesn't make sense, but it rhymes."
Benji.
Benji so you are so cute
Benji you are a flute
Benji you make me smile all day
Benji you are a piece of hay
Benji you have a fluffy bum
Benji I am your mum
Benji your song is done
I hoped you liked it, Benji!
John Morgan sends along a poem written by his guinea pig
Piggywig in honor of a Russian Dwarf Hamster named Minsk, the
World's Meanest Hamster:
To Minsk, the Meanest Hamster I Know
A hamster is a curious beast
of cunning and of guile
a fearless, brave conquistador
when trav'ling in her ball.
A hamster likes to motor on
and look not where she goes.
No piggy caution shall she take
propelled by furry toes.
To ram the wall--a jarring thud--
gives hamsters great delight,
then realigned, a new course set,
move on without respite.
A hamster is a fearsome beast:
agile, quick, and stout.
All piggies keep a watchful eye
when hamsters are about.
(Excerpted from Tomato Leaves and Other Notions of Love, Cavy
Press, 1995.)
David Bolger also sent me the following songs/poems:
"My Favourite Hamster"
There's a Hamster in my bedroom.
He lives beside my bed.
He is my favourite hamster -
I call him Hamster Fred.
He's the friendliest of hamsters.
He's funny and he's kind.
But when I try to look for him,
He is very hard to find.
I love my little Hamster,
He's really good as gold,
It's never really his fault,
That he won't do as he's told.
He likes to wash behind his ears.
And loves to stay up late.
But no-one thinks he naughty,
They all think he's great!
"The Hamster Sale"
There was a Hamster sale last week -
I really wanted one -
But they must have sold them all,
For every one was gone.
But then I saw behind some crates,
A Hamster oh so sad.
So I emptied out my purse,
To see how much I had.
'That's just enough', the man told me.
'The Price is very cheap, because he has but one eye',
Which made the Hamster weep.
'Is he food for the cat?', he asked,
But I answered, 'No!'
I took the Hamster by the claw
and said, 'It's time to go.'
Andrea Sigler wrote "In Hamster Heaven" (based on "In
Flander's Fields) after her hamster Dodger passed away:
In loving memory of Dodger
In Hamster Heaven the hamsters roam,
Among the sunflowers row on row,
That mark their place up in the sky,
Where little hamster angels fly,
Quite missed by human friends below.
My Dodger died short days ago,
He ran in his wheel, to and fro,
Loved and was loved,
And now he plays in Hamster Heaven.
Take a young hamster into your home,
To you, from Hamster Heaven we throw,
The torch of Hamsterity,hold it high,
For if you deny those new alive,'
We shall not play, though sunflowers grow,
In Hamster Heaven.
Felix D'Caprio has posted several poems to
alt.pets.hamsters about his hamster Frankenstein:
"The Last Hunt"
Frankenstein is quiet tonight, his thoughts
Drawn down to whisker or two.
No noise from the wheel, no squeak or pause
To punctuate the night -- no appetite.
His heat turned inward -- his core aflame
For what do we know of death?
That can be set aside for a few quick bites
Of an apple -- tired and all this for what?
Later he staggers in darkness -- a last
Hunt for the mystery beyond his whiskers.
"Night Hunt"
Asleep in nest of chewed fiber
he dreams of bits of corn and seed --
ancestral dreams of dark tunnels
and storerooms filled with winter's grain.
Emerging into cool night air
to hunt and roam in furtive fear,
danger surrounds, but delicate five-toed feet
sense minute vibration.
His being honed by a million
generations of experience,
knows the calculated risk of all outside
things unseen until too late,
but betrayed by scent, sound and vibration.
Awake for the hunt and run down paths
of survival with heart pounding intensity
to pause, catch breath, listen and smell.
Pouches stuffed with farm grown plunder
and back to burrow of contentment.
Seven thousand paces while sun is down
exploring the universe of night.
Sometimes the moon glistens his fur,
groomed to perfection of warmth and pride
over sensual skin and sinewy muscle.
The moon goddess of night ever changing --
dangerous glow that glistens the fur
in leaf shrouded path.
Better to wait, wait for the dark --
deep dark secret of night.
"Frankenstein"
They call me Frankenstein
but I am what I am
small, fast and very smart
I live for the night
and I love to run
just for fun
run fun, run fun
eat sleep, eat sleep
Four knives up front below my snout
my snout, my snout
the finest there is
all is foretold by my snout
He comes with his smell
almost every night
and pulls me up to his warm pounding chest
My knives are ready
and he knows it.
I squiggle, I squirm
I burrow and turn
I am what I am as always
She comes in the day
when I sleep,
a different smell
that I smell with my snout.
Her touch is pure
of someone who knows
the joy I have of living
Run fun, run fun
eat sleep, eat sleep
They call me Frankenstein
but I am what I am
small, fast and very smart
#c12: Do you know anything about the hamster greeting cards?
There is a series of greeting cards called "Harbottle &
Co.", produced by Gordan Fraser and designed by Peter Cross.
Each card features Harbottle the hamster and his friends.
There's an environmental theme, as evidenced by the passage on
the back of the card:
"Harbottle the Hamster, like us, cares about the
environment. Every greetings card he chews up is stored in
his large cheek pouches, before being recycled into a
manageable pulp which he uses to insulate his nest."
For more info, phone:
UK: (+44)1234 272800
US: (203)426-8174
#c13: Is there any ASCII hamster art?
Yes, from Dawn Williams...
,~~v~~,
,'. .',
=== + ===
/ ~ \
/\_m m_/\
.\ /.
/ \
/ \
`\m/ \m/'
from L. Adam Dawson who drew a potrait of his hamster Kurt...
|\__/|
/o=o'`.
{o__, \
/ . . ) )
`-` '-' \`
.( _( )'
'---.~_ _ _|
... and from "Gilpo."
_
(\\__
/ _ ~-_
< O v
/ _-~
| \\ \
| _ \=3\
|/ \ |
>C\_ |__/
(____3
#c14: I heard a rumour that hamsters might be bears...
Dr. Ivor Harfbrayne of Llantrisant University, England has
recently published a paper in 'Small Animal Physiology Journal'
which finally proves what all hamster owners have suspected:
hamsters are actually a kind of bear! The comparisons are
obvious once they are pointed out:
Both are brown and furry
Both stand on their hind legs
Both hibernate
Both can be vicious if provoked
Both are solitary
Note that in the June 16, 1995 issue of Science, the cover
story is about a suggested evolution path from hamster to rabbit
to bear to monkey to human, based on studies of the brain.
Hmmm...
**c15: What's the hamster code?
Brian Lowe (blowe@wpcusrgrp.org) has set up Hamster Code.
Internet Codes are made up of attributes with modifiers that
describe the person or thing being coded. Sounds complicated,
but you'll figure it out pretty quickly. Brian has the latest
version of the code up on his web page at
http://www.wpcusrgrp.org/~blowe/hcode.html
NAME:
The hamster's formal name is given first. If it has a
nickname, it is placed in parentheses after the formal name. A
colon (":") separates the name from the rest of the code.
BREED:
B - Siberian
C - Chinese
D - Dwarf
R - Russian
S - Syrian
TB - Teddy Bear
RD - Russian Dwarf
CO - Common
GR - Gray
ML - Mouselike
RL - Ratlike
ST - Striped
COLOUR:
A - Albino
B - Blonde
CH - Chocolate
CI - Cinnamon
CR - Cream
D - Dove
F - Fawn
G - Gold
GY - Gray
H - Honey
K - Black
N - Brown
O - Orange
P - Pink
R - Red
RD - Ruddy
RO - Roan
RU - Rust
S - Silver
SA - Sable
T - Tortise Shell
W - White
X - Other
(Colours can be conbined with a "+" sign. eg. B+W is Black and
White.)
PATTERN:
(*) - single colour
(b) - banded
(d) - dorsal (striped)
(ds) - dominant spot
(f) - front
(pa) - panda
(pb) - piebald
(r) - roan
(s) - striped
(o) - other
EYE COLOUR:
/K - Black
/R - Red
/RU - Ruby
EYE MODIFIERS:
-- No eyes (either by accident or genetic defect)
- Blind
+ Reflective (indicates presence of white-bellied gene)
, Used to separate left eye and right eye if their
attributes differ
H: HAIR:
H-- No hair to speak of
H- Actually, it's FUR
H Normal length hair
H+ Extra long hair
H++ I have been mistaken for a tribble
special attributes:
(c) - curly
(s) - skirt
(t) - tuft
(w) - wavy
Example: H(w)+ is a hamster with long wavy hair.
AGE:
The age element of the Hamster Code is two numbers
separated by a slash: the first number is the year in which the
hamster was born, the second is the month. If a hamster's age is
uncertain, it can be coded as ?/x, where x is Y (young), A
(adult) or O (old). An age of H/H means "Hamster Heaven," that
is, the hamster has gone to the Great Wheel in the Sky.
GENDER AND FERTILITY:
X++ Female: I am a hamster factory
X+ Female, fertile
X Female, fertile but segregated to prevent babies
X- Female, too old or too young
X-- Female, neutered
Y++ Male, very active
Y+ Male, active
Y Male, active but segregated
Y- Male, too old or too young
Y-- Male, neutered
S: SIZE:
S-- I look like a baby hamster
S- I'm almost as small as a mouse
S Normal sized hamster
S+ I'm a big hamster
S++ I look like a furry tennis ball.
W: WEIGHT
W-- I'm so thin that you can count my bones.
W- I'm slim but healthy.
W I'm an average hamster, not too thin and not too fat.
W+ I'm a heavy hamster, but it's all muscle!
W++ The floors tremble when I walk.
E: ENERGY LEVEL
E-- My human usually thinks I'm dead
E- I'll get up for food
E I sleep and run around (in that order)
E+ My gymnastics would make Nadia envious
E++ My human runs his stereo off my wheel
A: AGRESSIVENESS
A-- I'll let a two-year old boy handle me
A- You can play with me all day and I won't bite
A Handle me nice or I'll nip you
A+ If you're nice and gentle I probably won't bite you
A++ Even that cat is afraid of me
R: RHYTHM (Sleep/Wake cycle)
R-- I'm awake only in the wee small hours of the morning
R- I'm awake in the late evening and early night
R You can see me in the late afternoon and evening
R+ I'll wake up whenever you want to see me
R++ You mean hamsters actually sleep?
D: DWELLING
D-- I'm kept in a dark shoebox
D- I have a small cage and would like to have a wheel
D I live in a standard wire cage with a wheel and water
bottle
D+ I have a large aquarium with lots of bedding, a wheel,
water and food
D++ My human singlehandedly keeps Habitrail in business
Brian's hamster Rosebud's code would be:
Rosebud: S X- 95/2 G(*)/K H(s) W S E+ R- A D
My hamster Millie's code would be:
Millie: CO X 95/11 W+N/R H(w)+ W+ S+ E+ R- A++ D
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Please read Part One and Part Two of this FAQ!
Maintained by Glen Gower (ax611@freenet.carleton.ca)
This FAQ may be copied freely, as long as you don't modify it or
charge money for it. Let me know if you keep it on a web site or
are posting it to other newsgroups.