I am not using his real name but
I want to share his story with you. Eddie came back
and forth to the unit for radiation treatments,
it was not curative but for comfort care and to extend
his life somewhat. He had to come to terms with the fact that
he was dying and this took some time. We had good days
and bad days together. Sometimes I seemed to be his
good friend and sometimes I just reminded him of his future.
It wasn't long before Eddie had to be admitted as an inpatient
and would never leave. Eddie had a hard time eating
and sometimes taking his medicine. Nurses have a hard time
keeping IV lines intact and fluids running for very sick patients.
It often seems like we are the "bad guys" because of having
to place a new IV site. This is very important for
many reasons: to prevent blood clots from forming,
to keep down infection at the IV site,
to protect a patient's skin integrety, and many other factors.
Sadly, it often causes more pain,
and trust me, we don't enjoy inflicting pain. We are taught
to remain professional and not get attached to our patients.
Words are easy to understand but the actions are often impossible.
I am a professional, but I tend to get attached.
I am a "mothering" type person and just want to feather
my patient's nest, so to speak.
One day Eddie and I were just having
a tough time. I tried to feed him whatever he would eat,
ice cream, soup, anything but nothing tasted good
and he hurt. I felt so bad that I
couldn't do anything and he noticed tears in my eyes.
He said, Ms.Sue I want to do something for you.
Now that got my attention! I said what
is that Eddie? He said, I want to sing you a song.
I knew that he had made records
and was popular in the 50's and 60's.
I said, Eddie, I would love that very much.
He sang the song that you are listening to.
During the time he was singing, his face glowed
and his voice was wonderful.
I said, Eddie you have given me a gift I will never forget.
It pleased him to see me smile
and know that I meant it. Several days passed
and he sang it again to me and it became our gift to each other.
Eddie was not doing well when I left my shift one afternoon
and when I returned the next day, he was gone.
I have tried to find this song
in music shops but after almost a year,
I found it on my friend's midi site
and wrote and told him what it meant to me.
I am enclosing his site on this page
because he is part of this story too.
He was so touched by my story
that he sent me the words to the song.
I will include those words on this page.
So this page is for Eddie
and my sweet friend Johnny Angel

Daddy's Home
You're my love you're my angel
You're the girl of my dreams
I'd like to thank you for waiting patiently
Daddy's home your daddy's home to stay

How I've waited for this moment
To be by your side
Your best friend wrote and told me
You had teardrops in your eyes
Daddy's home your daddy's home to stay

It wasn't on a sunday (monday and tuesday went by)
It wasn't on a tuesday afternoon (all I could do was cry)
But I made a promise that you treasured
I made it back home to you

How I've waited for this moment
To be by your side
Your best friend wrote and told me
You had teardrops in your eyes
Daddy's home your daddy's home to stay
Daddy's home to stay
I'm not a thousand miles away
Daddy's home to stay.....

Thank You Sweet Friend Johnny Angel