Are you hopelessly into guide dogs?
1. You own more leashes than belts.
2. You can't understand why heads snap around at work when you discuss your "bitch."
3. All of your cloths have plastic bags in the pockets.
4. Your entire wardrobe is either color coordinated to hide dog hair or has become the color of your dog because it is now covered in dog hair. Even when you have been gone for a long time you still find dog hair on your cloths.
5. You have given up on trying to remove all dog hair from your house and furniture, you just have your vacuum out by the door and you vacuum all guest before they leave your house.
6. You think it is completely normal to discuss your dog's stool at the dinner table.
7. You never bother to wash your hands after petting your dog, even before eating fried chicken or pizza.
8. You expect to find a little dog hair in your meals and consider it "added fiber."
9. You select a new vehicle solely on its suitability for carrying your dogs and their gear.
10. You mattress is old enough to vote, but you get your dog a new bed each year.
11. You watch "Letterman" only on stupid pet trick night.
12. You have no photos of your spouse in your wallet, only your dogs.
13. Your dog has more and better toys than you do.
14. You wake up instantly when your dog whines, but often sleep past your loud alarm clock.
15. You are happy to relieve your dog at all hours of the night with a cheerful "good dog," but grumble and complain for weeks when someone calls you in the middle of the night.
16. You will rush your dog to the vet at the smallest injury or cough, but wait to take yourself to the doctor unless it is really severe.
18. You know people's dogs names before you know theirs.
19. When you talk about someone it goes like this: "you know the person with the pale Golden Retriever got some really good advice from the person with that petite yellow lab bitch that was friends with the Shepard guy."
20.You notice what every meticulous detail of a dog someone was walking, but don't even notice if the person walking them was male or female.
21. You talk to people in short phrases: "Billy come," "Sally Sit," "Joe Stay," "Good Girl"
22. You ask old friends about their dogs before you ask about their family
23. You send out Christmas pictures of the dog, not the family.
24. When you are away from home you call to ask about your dog.
25. When you are talking you have the urge to spell out words that trigger responses in your dog, like O-U-T and W-A-L-K, even when your dog is not around.
26. You open all door cautiously to make sure that a dog does not run out, even at other people's houses or your office .
27. Dog related activities dictate your weekends and evenings.
28. You have seen or own more dog related videos than all other videos combined.
29. You have read or own more dog related books than all other books combined.
30. Your dogs brushes, combs, toothbrush and nail clippers sit right next to your own.
31. You have more pictures of your dogs on the walls of your house than of your human family, or your dog is included in all family pictures.
32. You spend more on your dogs food in one month than on your own.
33. Your dog receives a stocking at Christmas and presents at its birthday.
34. Your phone bill contains more calls to your regional puppy advisor, leader, guide dog campuses, hotels for reservations for guide dog activities, other guide dog people than all other calls in a month.
35. Every conversation that you have tends to turn to the topic of your dog.
36. If you had a choice between living with your spouse and your dog, you would pick the dog.
37. Your spouse comments that you have too many dogs, you respond saying you don't have too many dogs, you have too many spouses.
38. The initials: DHLP, GDB, GDP, and AKC are common acronyms in your vocabulary.
39. You have going to the mall to buy cloths or shoes for yourself, but love browsing at the guide dog gift shops.
40. You have more clips, clamps, and bungee cords for your dog ex-pen and other dog setups than you have silverware and plates at home.
41. Your workday schedules are well planned so you are home in time to exercise your dog.
42. Your car's trunk is full of dog equipment and crates, yet, you can't even find the jack to change a tire.
43. All of your sweatshirts have "dog-related" designs or messages.
44. Your pale colored cloths have all been autographed by dogs and have muddy paw stains.
45. You can't remember the last time that you socialized with anybody that wasn't into dogs.
46. You have no friends that don't love dogs.
47. You ask pregnant women when they are due to whelp or when the new puppy is due to arrive and what letter it's name begins with.
48. Your dogs receive cards in the mail to congratulate them on their recent graduation or to wish them well on future endeavors.
49. Your dogs receive junk mail addressed to them and are on mailing lists.
50. You don't believe in the phrase "good as gold", because no one could be as good as your Golden Retriever or yellow Lab.