Dan Awaits Your Orders

For some time now I have been observing the chaotic orders of the Upright Citizens Brigade. Since I have begun, their message has reached as far as television, making the orders all the more available and easily accessed.

While I do not pay any less attention to the actions of other Agents of the Upright Citizens Brigade, I have suffered from some sort of focus-related disorder when it comes to the demands of Agent Colby. I do not know if this is part of a failed cyborg experiment, my own metabolism and hormonal levels falling out of check, or if this is all part of the UCB's plan.

However, here is my beacon to Agent Colby. Give me a sign to release my squirrels. I will huff, if necessary.

"Riding the Colby Elevator to Heaven"

i climbed on the bus yesterday
and saw an old woman
she reminded me of you, so i was going to kill her
because i know you would have wanted it
had you grown old and useless
then i remembered that it wasn't you so i let go of the diver's knife in my pocket
instead i sat next to her and tried in vain to make leg-contact with her but she got off at Irving Park and I realized I missed my stop trying to make leg contact
was that so wrong?
later, i caught a squirrel in the alley behind my apartment
today i released it in a nursing home elevator and i thought of you
i cried and hit myself for it

!COLBY LINKS!

V's Amy Poehler Fan Page

Without a doubt the most comprehensive and cool fan site for Amy, also known as Agent Colby. She let me have all these Colby pics, you know!

Upright Citizens Brigade

The UCB's awesome official, non-Comedy Central page. Go here, and witness the complex chaos that rules the UCB.

AGENT COLBY

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